Mind mind was occupied by one thing the whole drive home.
Cole.
It was crazy for me to be spending this much energy on a boy, one that I barely knew for that matter. His cocky attitude and over abundance of confidence made me mad. Who did he think he was? He thinks he can just show up and "help" me and I'm just going to drop to his feet and beg for his love. yeah right.
His stupid smirk infuriated me and I wanted to wipe it off his smug face. I hated him for making my guard fall even for just a minute. I don't think I'd be seeing Cole around any time soon.
Pulling into the driveway I see my dads truck parked. I guess I can't avoid him much longer considering well be living in the same house for a year.
When I walk inside I see him sitting at the table reading a newspaper. I try to make my escape to my room but with no luck.
"Hey Soph," he says " didn't know you were home."
I internally roll my eyes. "uh, yeah I just got in,"
He pats the seat next to him and says "Why don't you come sit down we can catch up."
I sigh in defeat and walk over and sit beside him. He puts down his paper and we just sit there in a silence. I play nervously with my hands and look down at my lap.
I don't know what to say because this man isn't my father. He's not that man who woke me up early every morning just to say he loved me before work. He's not the man who would carry me to bed every night when i fell asleep downstairs. No, he's a new person with a new life and I don't know how I'm supposed to fit in it.
His voice breaks my thoughts.
"So I just talked to the school and you're all signed up for your classes." he says with a proud look.
I don't look up and just respond with a small nod.
He clears his throat uncomfortably.
"Uh, and I'm going to have one of my guys come and fix up your room a bit like I said." he looks to me for a response but I don't give one. He continues, "Anderson should be coming in sometime in the next week and he'll paint and fix up some of the things in your room."
"That's fine." is all I say.
"So your grandparents told me you were quite the working girl." he says with a smile.
I scoff and look up to meet his eyes. "We kind of had to be." I say no amusement in my voice.
"Well," he begins "I have a friend that owns this nice italian place not too far from here. Said they're looking for a new waitress. I know how much you used to love to help me cook in the kitch-"
I cut him off there. "Tell him I'll take it." I say standing up and heading to my room. it's not that I need the money I'm sure Michelle and my dad have enough of it. This will be the perfect opportunity for me to get out of the house something I'm going to need to do a lot of if I want to make it through this year.
My mother and I were always busy. Whether it was work or cleaning or even just going out and having fun, we could never just sit around. We always had to be doing something. I've been living here for 24 hours and if I don't get out of this house anymore I think I'll go crazy.
By the point I reach my room my blood is boiling. Who does he think he is? He can't just be gone from my life for six years and then expect me to come running in here and leaping into his arms.
I start thinking of Cole and my heart goes into over drive. I can't get those eyes out of my mind. Ughhh!
My hands feel tingly and my heart feel ready to burst out of my chest. I can feel the anxiety radiating off of me. I decide to do the best thing. Numb myself.
I lay down and close my eyes. I slow my breathing down and just empty my mind. Everything is fine.
Everything is ok.
