The Fenrir Saga - Part I

Chapter 36

Beonnie

It was time.

We formed our six-row, two-men line and stood in the small space in the crypts under the arena. I wanted nothing more than to be strong, powerful, and brave, but I really felt like throwing up. Vidar was standing next to me, and I had to stop myself from urging him to take me away from there. He felt my anxiety and turned towards me, allowing me to fall into his embrace.

"It will be fine, B." 

I loved how he murmured against my hair. Like a mama bear lulling her pups to sleep in a thunderstorm. Completely safe.

"Just," he let go of me, put his two big hands on each side of my cheek, and looked me in the eye. "..I just thought of something. I've been meaning to ask you. The men that you hurt in that house. Why did you do that? Like what had they done to you?"

What? What kind of stupid question was that?

"I.. what?"

"Well, I know I covered the tracks, but now I think maybe I shouldn't have. I don't know if they deserved that."

I frowned.

"Of course they did. Like, why are you even..?"

"I'm thinking perhaps that is why Henry prefers that Annie girl; she is kind of pretty and, you know, girly and stuff."

What the?

"I'm also girly and stuff!" I snarled at him. Annoyed and confused at the same time.

He laughed.

"You are not girly and stuff. She is, though. And I think that is why Henry likes to kiss her soft lips. I bet it feels awesome."

Now, that was just cruel. Not that I cared about what Henry thought about kissing her, obviously, but Vidar was supposed to be on my side.

"She is just mean!" I almost spit the unformulated sentence out. "You are supposed to be on my side!"

He gave me a mock smile as we positioned ourselves in a line opposite our opponents. I hadn't even noticed that we had already walked inside.

"Why would I be on your side? You are nothing. Just a little girl who thinks she can play with the big guys."

"Fuck you Vidar," I snarled. "Just fuck you."

He looked at me and then glanced up towards where we came, blowing a kiss towards the audience. I followed his gaze and saw Annie with her arms firmly around Henry's neck. Too much. It was simply too much.

Stupid Vidar and stupid Annie. If I could kick him, I would have, but I had too much to do with gaining control over my limbs as white flashes started to dance in front of my eyes. Anger vibrated through me, and I felt electric - as if lightning flew in my veins. I was so angry I could cry, but instead, I imagined everyone in front of me to be Laverne, Vidar, Annie, my father, Alpha Brett, Tom, or anyone else I hated.

I didn't notice when the fight started. I fought, blocked, fended off, and then again and again. The pitch was covered with sand, and after a while, sweat, and sand had crept into every pore of my body, but I couldn't stop. 

I could not stop. 

I had some, but almost none, and then no control over my limbs. It all went on automation. Block, punch, throw, block, punch, throw. I had a vague sensation that the audience sometimes cheered, gasped, or booed at something happening in the fight, but I didn't know what. All my limbs could focus on was block, punch, break, throw, and do it over and over again.