Keeper of the Realm (Violent Delights Book 2)

Chapter 5 - February 1440

Edward of Woodstock

It's always cold here at the Tower. I haven't been ill again, so Aimee and Elizabeth caution that I may play as I like, so long as I'm eating all my meals. I am, and drinking wine which I don't mind so long as it's sweet.
Parliament's in two days.
My mother sent a very succinct letter that I need not worry. And that she thought I must be getting very good at chess.
Which means she likes my move and acted accordingly. Good on her. I reply that I don't much like chess.
That doesn't mean I'm poor at it.
Chanos and I play for hours. He comes to entertain me, or practice sparring in the yard with him and Aimee. Aimee can take his sword which amuses me to no end.
"My father was a knight. And my mother trained me well, also my brother's a menace," Aimee laughs, as Chanos sputters in annoyance. She's got a sword in either hand and flips them.
"Your father the Gaveston who's records for number of broken lances is unbeaten?"
"That's the one."
"Who's your brother?"
"Green eyes, angry looking, intensely sarcastic, usually sharing what passes for impulse control with Henry of Grosmont?" Aimee says, tossing him sword back.
"Bloody family deserves bloody Lancasters."
"We've got different mothers."
"DOESN'T SEEM TO HAVE HELPED ME ANY DOES IT?"
"Pierce dehorsed him a few years ago at Christmas, he's like, still mad," I say.
"Dehorsed me while having an argument with Lancaster, did not pause picked up mid sentence in between bouts," Chanos says.
"Like I said. Still mad," I nod.
And my life is mostly without incident. I don't mind that. Yet it feels weirdly trapped. I'm not a prisoner here by any means. But I'm also far from free to roam and I've done my own accounts. I can barely pay my staff. Let alone move house. I'm in terrible want of money the whole kingdoms is. And I'm sick of worrying about it. I feel a tenseness in my neck. All the time. I should be doing more. I should get my family home. I hate waiting. I can't stand waiting for my life to happen.
But I suppose I have to.
Elizabeth and Guillame keep my tutors coming for lessons now and then. To keep me entertained Guillame includes music, which is how we all find out Chanos is a lovely singer and can compose poetry but refuses to do either thing on command just when the mood strikes him. Aimee and Elizabeth mostly try to keep things light, letting me play with the dogs and such. William and Guillame and Chanos all consent to take me into London to Westminster for the odd mass. It's good to be seen out and about, dressed nice, and healthy. The people like it. And my father's smile on my face is ever effective, a quick grin, kneeling to chat to a child. Giving coins to a beggar. My mother would be pleased. And I had no instructions but it's good to keep up appearances. The people still love their prince. We'll see how long that lasts.
I might have a new sibling by now. I've had no letters of late. I feel weird. All the time. Like I'm not a person anymore. And the person I want to be is locked away deep inside. That's safer there it all hurts. And i can't hurt my staff by being sad. I can't hurt anyone by being sad. And my friends don't feel real. They haven't been around. They can't be around.
I'm the prince.
And I'll somehow make everything up, by being wonderful at it. I'll be good at it. Not so good anyone will take notice. But a very a good imitation of the people I see. That way I'll be safe. The hurt is locked away so it can't harm me anymore. I can't change anything.
So I'm fine. I'm just fine.
But it's cold in the Tower. We're all in a set of rooms I have my own but Aimee is next door if I need her. My puppy sleeps with me, I like it like that. A nice warm body to snuggle up to. If i can't sleep I can pet the dog.
Spring is supposed to be coming and Lent will begin soon but we get more storms and cold weather. My hearth goes out sometimes at night. I don't wake William to help me restart it, instead cuddling up with the dog. I don't like being woken I suppose nobody does. I especially don't like being woken to:
"Lord Edward."
Just good morning would be nice. How are you. Something of that kind.
"Yes, William," I ask, sitting up. I'm not supposed to have my dog in my bed.
"Lord Edward that animal is supposed to be on the floor."
Figured.
"Anything else?" I ask, sitting up.
"The staff spotted boats on the Thames. They're coming to the water gate," William says.
As prince I'm technically in charge of the Tower. At the moment really with me being in it.
"It could be one of the Earls—or clergy," I sit up, "I'll meet them."
"They will not be let in."
"They will if it's someone we trust, I'll speak with them," I say, climbing out of bed, my feet cold on the stone floor.
"You are not going out there, we'll send Chanos," Guillame says.
"We had to inform you, we'll see what they want," Elizabeth cautions.
"Oh come on is it not a Lancaster thing to do to show up with spies and a plot at midnight at the water gate?" I ask.
They all look at each other.
"Okay then. We'll see who it is—do get weapons though," I say, "And someone wake up Chanos."
Chanos is notoriously hard to wake up, and Aimee does it with a bucket of water, which illicits screams.
So a soaking, but armed Chanos, and all of us, the grown ups with weapons, me with the dog, descend the Tower, arguing and telling each other to go back. Everyone but Chanos.
"Oh all you all agree I should go," he notices this.
"You're the knight," Guillame says.
"The knight with enough goddamn sense to stay in the incredibly defendable fortress and NOT go open the water gate and let in random strangers to fight. At midnight."
"It's more fun this way," I bounce.
They all look at me.
"What? Being attacked would really give us something to do. Test my skills. Clear the air."
"I'm so glad you're in charge of this beautiful nation," Chanos says, not even sarcastically.
The Water gate is set on the Thames, so that boats can enter with supplies and the like. It's fairly well used it's how we got in originally. Most Earls would tell me they're coming but, if it's an emergency it's understandable they wouldn't get a message to me in a normal fashion.
When we reach the gate, there's a couple of boats just anchoring. The occupants are wading out, dark cloaked. On a moonless the night the torches only lend so much light. And two years on it takes me a full moment to recognize my father.
The others are quicker, I must stand stunned. My father's eyes land on me immediately, and I see the hurt register when he realizes that for a moment, I didn't know him. What did he expect? It's been two long years he promised six months.
I didn't think he'd return. I didn't think he'd leave my mother. I didn't think that I'd feel like this.
"The king."
"King Edward."
"King Edward."
They're all bowing to him, as they open the gate.
I'm supposed to bow when I see him and kissing his hand. That's in public.
He opens his arms, that hurt still on his face.
I run to him, and rather than kneel he simply lifts me out of the water, my arms tight around his neck.
"Teddy," he whispers, voice rough with tears, as he hugs me fiercely.
I cling to his neck, face in his shoulder. Shaking with sobs. The name opens up every ounce of hurt I'd saved up. Anger. Fear. I'm the little boy he left, limp in his arms, not strong enough to stand on my own.
"Beautiful boy," he kisses my cheeks, still hugging me tightly. I'm weeping freely, and i realize he is too.
I can't stop crying. I struggle, but I cannot, all the tears I hadn't shed are coming up now, into his rough wool cloak.
"Shh, I've got you,," he whispers, "I've got you."
I breath deeply, trying to stop crying. I'm probably not supposed to weep.
"You all right?" My father asks, cupping the back of my head with one hand.
I nod because I can't speak.
He kisses my forehead again.
"My lord, we'd best go inside."
"My lord it isn't safe here."
"We'll go in, you all right? All right," my father only sets me down on dry land, wading there himself. He keeps one hand firmly gripping my shoulder, as though he too is afraid of one or both of us disappearing.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, looking up at him, tears still spilling from my eyes. We both know my mother's having the baby.
"Checking on my son. And my kingdom. I haven't missed parliament, have I?" My father asks, his eyes glittering with mirth.
"No," I say, wiping tears from my face, "Next week."
"Ah we'll move it up to this week. They won't be expecting to see me," my father says, clearly eagerly anticipating terrifying them, "Come, we'll talk inside. Wouldn't want word of my return to get out now would we?"
"No," I say, steadying myself with a breath.
He keeps a firm hand on my shoulder as we return inside the Tower. He and about five of his men, all dressed from the road. They clearly smuggled themselves here in disguise, aboard a merchant ship. Which means nobody will know he came, and Parliament will be far from pleased. He's going to terrorize them. I know my father's temper, because it lives in me. I don't want to be like him. But I am anyway.
Inside William gets us all cups of wine. My father's clearly surprised how few of us there are. So my mother didn't tell him. Probably better his anger is kindled for tomorrow. He's a mask of pleasantry at the moment, I don't know if it's for my sake or that of the staff. He usually is kind them and everyone here especially has been minding me so he's especially congenial, thanking Chanos personally with a slap on the back, and hugging Aimee for a long moment.
We fill him, in rapidly, on the situation when Parliament last convened, which is mostly me and Guillame answering anything he didn't already know, and he quizzes us on how long we've been here, and the like. He's also concerned for my health, my mother hasn't gotten to him that might be nice.
"I'm completely fine, I swear," I sigh.
"Did you have a fever?" He asks, frowning.
"No," I smile sweetly.
"He's well now," Aimee says, more moderately.
"Is everyone else all right?" I ask.
"Yes, your letters have been entertaining our cousin Joan, and your sisters are well," my father says, smiling a little, "Your mother is just fine, well you've gotten our letters she writes those you know."
I nod.
"We should all to bed, we have an early day. I need to surprise my Parliament," my father says, "We'd have gotten in earlier but storms blew us off course. Didn't mean to be quite this dramatic about our arrival."
"Just almost," I smile.
"Just almost, get yourself back in bed, with however many pets you've maxed to smuggle up. You're coming with me to Parliament."
"I am?" I ask, a little surprised.
"You were Keeper of the Realm weren't you? I've got to do the paperwork relieving you of your duties, that sort of thing, you know I report to your mother."
"I know you'd like to stand before Parliament watching them know I've told you how they behaved," I smile.
"That too," he pokes my nose. I smile. "Thought you'd want to watch the fun anyway. Now get some sleep. You've been ill."
"I'm completely fine ask my mother," I say.
"To bed, I'll come check on you in a moment,—Elizabeth, thank you love," he nods to her to go with me. "Get him dried off."
"Yes father," I nod. I feel a flash of anger at being sent away. But I push it aside. He's actually home. It doesn't seem real.