will he ever know that I loved him?

Friendship or Love

His visits to my home has increased before this, there was a reason, we need to study but later on he used to come to my home just to spend time. Ram became my family member he used to talk with my family we chit chat, watch movies together he was very funny everyone in my family loved him even without knowing he became habit for all of us. I don't know what happened but I was happy, I enjoyed everything, his jokes, his smile, my mom became his friend and they both roast me together, even I roast him for his age, he is five years elder than me. He used to roast me for my height. I loved spending time with him as they were holidays my days started with his good morning text then calls and meeting in my home, having coffee together and in nights we will be on calls, chats those days, my complete day is a person 'Ram' only Ram. I share every little thing happened and he do the same he says me everything like where is he going, what he is doing most of the time we will be in chat or call. I used to wake up him by my call. One day we both were alone so we were dancing on a beautiful song. We created wonderful memories in those holidays.

Then our college started we had a event "fresher's party" for that we were the organizers so we had many works and we should go out for some booking and some works. Me and Ram handled all those works because of which we had to spend time together in traveling this made us even more closer. Just two days before the fresher's Ram said he wanted to become a dancer and hero. He said he was interested in film industry. He wanted perform on fresher's day. He showed me his dance performance. I was stunned. He is such a great dancer. Those two days, I was just admiring he dancing skills. One day before the performance he was scared I said pointing him "I trust me, You can do it, I will be proud of you" my finger was pointing his heart. I don't know why did I say I trust me pointing his heart, those words came from my heart so I don't have any knowledge about them. He was so happy with my with behavior that day. Then the day came he preformed on the stage everyone was surprised very one were shouting "Ram, Ram, Ram". Even though he wanted to become dancer he gave up on his dreams because he heard about politics in the industry. But I truly wanted him to try to achieve his dreams. I trust him alot. He would become a great dancer.

All those days preparation for exams, exams, holidays, arrangements for fresher's party, fresher's party complete one and half month if I would write a dairy. I can just write one name 'RAM'. Ram was talking closely with a girl in college. In these days he mentioned many times that I am the only girls he is spending time with. I felt jealous when I saw him talking to another girl.

I loved when he changed for me like he used to talk with many girls in chats and calls but once when I said "I don't like boys who love one girl but flirt with many" he completely stopped flirting. Not only that during the exams we had arguments he used to question me about our relationship he wanted to know who we are at that point I didn't have any answer and also I hate arguments. I feel like why to waste your beautiful time with your close people by arguing with them. One day I was mad because of these arguments and explained him that I hate arguing,I can't waste best moments with arguments. If you have time then talk, be happy, spend that valuable time in be happy, why to argue and why to pollute your mind. That was the last time we had an argument after that he never ever argued with me. I loved the way he understood me. After seeing many couples, I never wanted to be in a relationship, I don't believe in love. I said Ram many times that, I hate love. I had a gang in my college one of my friend wanted me to feed him as he had a wound in his hand. I feeded him. Ram saw that and in the evening he said me "Tara, jealous is the first step towards love, today for the first time I felt jealous"

His point triggered me.

Yes, jealousy is the first step of love.