THE UNWANTED WIFE

CHAPTER TWELVE

It was three weeks later and Roseanne headed down to the kitchen for breakfast and found her wife already seated at the table, newspaper in hand. Lisa’d already dressed Lily and had her little baby carrier placed on the table in front of her. Lily was asleep and Lisa was so absorbed in her paper that she didn’t notice Roseanne at first. It was Phumsile’s day off, so she’d fixed himself a bowl of cereal, toast, and some coffee. Roseanne smiled at the sight of them, her heart overflowing with love for them both.

“Good morning,” Roseanne greeted cheerfully as she headed over to the breakfast nook. She dropped a kiss on the baby’s cheek and then, after the briefest of hesitations, one on her wife’s lean cheek. While Lisa was a lot more affectionate these days, Roseanne still felt a certain reserve around her, not sure if she could touch and kiss her as freely as Lisa did her. She knew she was being silly, but she seemed unable to overcome her emotional barriers. Lisa told Roseanne she loved her every day, but Roseanne still couldn’t quite bring herself to believe her. She often cynically caught herself wondering if Lisa meant the words or merely said them because she thought they were what Roseanne wanted to hear. Roseanne didn’t understand herself, on the surface it looked like she had everything she’d ever wanted but she still didn’t quite believe it was real.

“Good morning.” Lisa smiled up at her and put her newspaper aside as Roseanne got herself some cereal and sat down opposite her. Lisa did that all the time now. Roseanne seemed to have her undivided attention: the business section was set aside, the television switched off, phone calls terminated, and stock reports carelessly tossed away whenever Roseanne walked into a room. Lisa wanted to know how she was feeling, how her day was going, what her plans were. They talked all the time, they spent companionable evenings together, and Lisa was a hands-on mother. They’d had a quiet family Christmas and had both delighted in buying hugely impractical toys for Lily, things that she wouldn’t be able to play with for years. Lisa had surprised her with an emerald pendant and earrings, and she’d given Lisa a silver Montblanc pen with Lily’s and her names engraved on it. Their New Year had been equally quiet as they’d invited only Jisoo, Jennie, and Jisoo’s sister over for a poolside barbecue. They made love every night and Lisa worshipped her body during those long, dark hours. They had a great life. So why couldn’t she trust Lisa?

Roseanne knew that her reserve was frustrating Lisa…hell, it was frustrating her, but she needed something more. She just didn’t know what.

“I thought I’d let you sleep in,” Lisa was saying as she sipped her coffee. “Between Lily’s and my demands last night, you didn’t get much sleep.” Roseanne blushed and averted her eyes to her cereal.

“Thank you,” Roseanne mumbled. Her cell phone rang and she retrieved it from the kitchen counter where she had left it to charge the night before. A quick glance at the screen told her it was Jennie.

“Hey,” Roseanne greeted.

“Hey yourself, Birthday Girl,” her cousin greeted, and Roseanne started. It was her birthday. She’d completely forgotten. “Joon and I are taking you and Lily out to lunch. Our treat. But we’re doing some serious birthday shopping first.”

“I’m not sure…”

“No arguments, cuz. I’m sure Lisa will understand. She won’t expect you to spend your birthday by yourself while she goes off to work…and she can have you this evening.” Roseanne glanced over at Lisa, who was playing peekaboo with a slightly groggy Lily. A helpless smile tugged at her lips as she watched Lisa earnestly play with their daughter. Lily looked confused, but at least she hadn’t started wailing yet.

She refocused on her conversation with Jennie, certain that Lisa had no clue that it was her birthday, and Roseanne wasn’t about to inform her, not when she knew how angry this new Lisa would be with herself for never bothering to discover that information.