𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐌𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐈𝐍

𝟎𝟓 | 𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞

ADRIA RAMIREZ 

Now comes all the regret. 

I'm going to be his first time and I couldn't feel more sick about it. I'd rather not be reminded of my first so I focus on his hands instead. They're large and slightly veiny and a good distraction from the situation. 

His fingers hook at the bottom of his hood. He lifts them and the black fabric scrunches together until it's over his head. He rips it off and his hands rest on the couch. They're holding the cushion too tight, creating indents in the deep red leather. It reminds of the one back at the club. Stop it. His scar. He has a large scar on the top of his left hand. It's old, clearly, and looks like something you'd get playing in your yard as a kid. The thing could have healed better if it got some proper stitches. 

"It gets kinda hot in here if you wanna take your jacket off." 

I blink, remembering that's what he was doing. He's wearing a white T-shirt. The sleeves are short enough to show off his impressive biceps. His forearms have a few visible veins running through them. Even though the shirt is made of loose fabric, some of it hugs his torso and I force myself to look at his eyes before he realizes I was admiring him. 

I've never been in this position with a guy my age. It's flustering even though it's him. At least he's equally as shifty or else he'd hold this over my head forever.

I begin to break a sweat and decide to follow his lead and zip down my jacket. All I have under is a red tank top that does a horrible job of hiding my black bra straps. 

"Alright, I'm going to start with a handjob to see what you can handle. You ready?" I ask as I gently place my palm his knee. 

To his credit, he doesn't jump. He does, however, make a strangled sound. Red rises to his cheeks and he averts his gaze. Alright, so he's not used to being touched without warning. We'll have to work on that later.

"Yes or no?" My hand stays in the same spot on his gray sweats.

He's staring at my fingers lightly touching his leg. He doesn't seem afraid thankfully, just full of anticipation.  

He clenches his jaw before spitting out a strained "Yes."

"Just tap me twice when you want me to stop. That sound okay?" I accidentally slip into the voice I use at work. Grayson doesn't seem to notice, too busy trying to check his breathing.

His chest is rising and falling faster than I'd ever seen someone in this position. Something about the movement makes me want to place a soothing hand there. But that'd be insane and I'm not insane. 

He finally nods. 

"I'm going to start now. Try not to close your eyes," I peer up at him and he nods again. 

Slowly, I scoot closer to him, until our legs are pressed against each other. My stagnant hand starts to trail up his thigh. I suppose I should have done something first to get him hard but the idea feels too weird. 'Hey lets watch some porn together to get you in the mood!' Yeah, I think I'd rather take the Fs. 

I make sure to go at a snail's pace and not make eye contact. When I reach the end of his thigh, I feel that the problem has solved itself. There's an imprint in his sweats, made even more visible by the way he's manspreading.

God I can't do this. I can't let my senses take over like in the club or else I risk pushing him too far. Maybe, if I don't look at his face, he can be Atlas. Just for a few minutes. That'll work. Hopefully he doesn't notice the blush that suddenly covered my face. 

I lift the bottom of his shirt first as it covers the waistband of his pants. Warm. His skin is so warm. It's the perfect temperature to press against when the weather grows cold. My instincts have me resisting the urge to go higher.