Refined Ingracia

Kabanata 9

Stupid

Have you sat on the chair with your colleagues but you cannot move your head to the other side, because of the person who doesn't want to talk to you? in order to avoid awkward moments? right now that's how I feel.

Why do I feel so bad about this? Why me?why not him? I didn't do anything wrong! It's very frustrating! How dare him to treat me like this!

This meeting will end so soon, be brave Grace you need to settle this issue or whatever his resentment to you. Ughhh!

"Congratulations everyone we manage to cease the epidemic, and the good news is that we will be home very soon" As they clap their hand. "Baochi lianghao de gongzuo, jiayou!"

(Keep up the good work, fighting!)

As everyone was going out, I lazyly picked up my note tab and bag as I looked at him, I want to talk to him. He ran his hand on his head and stayed there, it looked like he was in big trouble, an elbow on the table.

Is this because of me?

God!

I hear the door closed as I saw Ana lock the door with her cross arms as she smirks watching us. I rolled my eyes at her because I know she does it on porpuse.

How did she knows I want to talk to him?

She's really good at understanding me huh.

I compose myself, I walk and sit beside his chair and put my two hands on the table as I watch the wall. I remember how we meet until now. Those days... I sighed.

"I don't know how to start Jared, really, but after that day you never talk to me, I feel so bad and so heartless to you I keep asking myself what did I do wrong?....I don't have enough courage to tell you my personal matters because for me it doesn't matter, you know, the friendship we have I truly appreciate it so much , when I am sad you are there to cheer me up and help me to cheer up my day, that's the character I really like about you... I don't know why, why I have to explain myself to you this is something very private to me, my life is not easy," I stop and breath, "so I wonder did I make you assume things?"

I have no strength to look at him, I might cry.

"I want to stay friends with you but if you find it so hard, I will give you time until you forgive me."

"I don't want to lose you as my friend Jared but I cannot do more, I like you as my friend. I have been married for 5 years with him."

His eyes widen to my confession.

"I don't have so many friends but I hope you will consider this friendship we have?"

I wish him to understand me. He is a good man I can tell but I don't really feel anything intimate for him. He is like a brother to me, unlike him, his touch can make me feel the tingling sensation and he can make my heart beat faster everytime I see him, His kisses make me crave even more and those butterflies on my stomach, only William can do.
"It's me who feels this shits Grace, it's not you. I'm sorry but everytime I see you, it breaks my heart into pieces that I couldn't bear to imagine that you owned by someone else. It should be me, why not me? I waited for you to fall for me. I am fucking in love with you! Can't you feel it." His voice is shaking , he combed his hair with his finger the blood shot on his eyes stare at me as I stare at him back.

He is in love with me? Oh god！

"Is it real or you toyed me? " He accused.

What?

Harshly pulled my shoulder to face him. He doesn't look like Jared I know his eye bag is the evident he doesn't rest well. Is it because of me? 

I'm scared of him, the way he looks at me.