All Planned Out

Thirteen (Alex)

"Are you going to tell me what happened at the park the other night?"

"Are you going to tell me why you tried to call me five times and when I finally answered heard nothing but heavy breathing before you hung up?"

"No."

"Then that makes two of us."

What exactly was I supposed to say to her? Was I supposed to tell her that some random guy Stuart works with thinks he's gay and not only that but also might be into him on some level? Maybe I don't pay enough attention around school, but it's not exactly standard behavior for a straight guy to point out how good another straight guy looks, especially behind his back, and Carlos definitely did that.

Fucking Carlos.

It's not that I care so much that Stuart happens to work with a guy who, based on that short conversation outside the coffee shop, might very well be gay. It's not even the fact that he thinks Stuart is cute that gets to me. No. What has affected me so much since I scuttled away in a panic is that I know the truth. I know that Stuart is gay and that, yeah, he actually is quite good looking. But I also know that the thing that Stuart really wants is me and also, the most stinging truth of them all is that, in that moment with the trash cart between us and a free drink in my hand, Carlos felt like competition.

Fucking Carlos.

"And two of us makes a couple." I finally said, staring through the windshield at the front doors to Blank's Bridal and holding my hand in the air between us. "You ready to do this?"

Her hand clapped into mine and she squeezed. "Feels way weirder than all the other times, but yeah. We got this."

"Just don't think about Montana and you'll be golden."

"And speaking of golden maybe you shouldn't think about Stuart." She squeezed at my palm again and grinned. "Did something happen between you two? Is that why they didn't eat lunch with us yesterday?"

Internally I cringed and only barely managed to keep a straight face. "Oh, see, I thought that was your fault." I then twisted my face into a rictus of its own, and she swung both our hands straight at my teeth before letting go.

"Nothing happened with us."

"She didn't yell at you, did she? Did you make a mistake and get yelled at? I can talk to her. It's not a big deal, Char. All you have to do is—"

"—nothing happened!" She said, almost barking, then jumped out of the car. "Come on. Let's get this over with."

The doors to Blank's had opened fifteen minutes ago, and there had been a line of at least a dozen couples outside when we had pulled in. Some of them we knew, some we didn't. A few even waved when they noticed us. Charlotte had cheerily waved back, then ducked her head and groaned into her hands. It was one thing to fake a relationship for a few minutes in between classes or sitting at a lunch table by ourselves, but for Homecoming and Prom we had to take our act out into the real world, or at least to Blank's, and play our parts under the microscope of the romantic traditions of the high school dance.

It was easier when we were younger and more awkward but, now that we had been 'together' for four years and as far as anyone knew had never so much as had a single argument with each other, a stink of 'happily ever after' was starting to swirl around us.

Charlotte had marched herself halfway across the parking lot before her gait slowed and she turned back to me. After two more steps she stopped completely and then held her hand out in my direction.

"What?" I asked as I caught up.

She wiggled her hand and her head drooped. "Hold my hand."

"Sure." I wrapped it back up in mine. It always had felt weird, but it was a rather normal weird. "Are you okay?"