He was Falling Inlove | Choi Seung Cheol

Chapter 3: Bad Love

Another two days had passed and in only a day, Eri and Eros will start shooting the first episode of their reality series entitled Midas Touch: Eri Rouge and Eros Choi's Marriage Life.
It's a Saturday night and it is one of Eri's rest days. As of now, she is sitting on one of their swings in their garden with a beer in her hands. As she gaze on the huge playground on her side, she couldn't help but to wince in an uncomfortable feeling.

"If I was a little bit easier, would have I been already a mother?" she asks herself, the words slipped out of her lips softly, almost like a whisper. Being born in a family with a generational wealth and everything she needed, there were only three things she dreaded to have ever since she was a little kid.

Marriage, Children and a great Profession.

She had the Profession. She could say that she had been very successful becoming the engineer that the little girl inside her always wanted to be.

She also HAD the marriage, but it slipped away. Because of her low emotional intelligence and commitment issues.

The Children, however. Is something she never had.

"You still look so sweet to me, It's unfair." Eri looks at the other side of the playground and sees Eros. He is sitting down in the grass.

"Eros? Why are you sitting there? The grass is wet, it just—." Why does she care? Eri stopped herself before saying things that she will regret later. She is moving on and trying to heal. She cannot show dwelling feelings for him. "Why are you here?"

"Is it too hard to stay inlove with me, Eri?" Eros asks.

"Are you drunk?" Ofcourse he is. Why would he ask such deep questions if he isn't?

"Was our love a Bad Love, Eri-ah?" He continues. "Did I hurt you a lot? Was it too much to bear for you? Did I meddle with your work too much? What is it? You never told me why you wanted to divorce me." Eros asks, his voice broke at the end of his question. He was crying.

He was right.

She never told him why she wanted a divorce. They never had a closure because she never believed in that and he just went on with it because he knows better than telling Eri what not to do.

"Why are you talking to me like this? I never told you that you can do such things. You're stepping on my boundaries again." she says. Trying to stay firm as she can but her voice breaks, too. She couldn't help but to cry.

Seeing the man that she loved for years breaking down as she break his heart, the person that embodied all the love that she ever known, breaks her heart, too.

"Why, Eri? Why did you leave me?"

"You wanna know why, Eros?" she says, tears dripping down her soft and pale skin. "Because I refuse to stay in a love that keeps me guessing everyday. Your signals were so mixed even if we're married. There were days you wanted to have a child and make me quit what I wanted to do, but there were also days where I question myself if you actually do love me or you're only enduring life with me because we're married." she lets out. Her shoulders felt a little at ease.

"We were so comfortable with the thought that we have each other that we forget that love is not burning each other's back, but having each other's back and treating the wounds that hurt us. And yes, Eros. What we had was a bad love, a bad love that we concealed as a good one." She sighs and tries to take a deep breath but she couldn't, it was almost like she was drowning on her own tears.

"If you love me, you wouldn't have to ask me to quit my job to just focus on you and if I really love you in a good way, I would have realised that you needed me, that I was hurting you with neglect because I am pursuing my dreams. We were both foolish. It was a bad love, but it felt right some moments so we tried to keep it that way. But that wasn't healthy. Look at us. Both burnt out and drained." Eri groans in pain. Her chest feels too tight.

She stares at Eros. He's not listening. She's not even sure if he's awake. He looks so wasted. Just how much did he drink with Mingyu this time?

"Why did Mingyu let you out in this hour?" she asks herself and dials Mingyu's phone. A phone rang beside her and in that moment, she realized that the swing beside her is occupied.

"Yes, sister in law. I heard everything you said." Mingyu says. "You don't have to ask how long have I been in here. I heard everything, alright? Let's skip with that part."

"You—."

"You still love him." he says. "But I'm not saying anything to him. I'll let you both figure things on your own."
...
"I am warning you, Eri. Once we started this, you can't turn your back on me anymore." Eros says as the two of them gets their make up done in their once shared room. It looks as if they never left it untouched even if they never stepped inside this room for almost two years now. Ofcourse, they had people work on that so that the production crew and everyone else in this reality series shoot will not suspect anything about the divorce.

"When did I ever run away from you, Eros?" she asks with a smirk.

"We're starting in five minutes! Mr. and Mrs. Choi please go down and get ready."

"All of these because you hate Jian." Eros teases. "That's why I like her, she's something else, aren't she?"

"Why would I hate someone that I barely know?" Eri says. "I don't compete with people that wouldn't even stand even a percent of chance of winning with me. I know which games to play and which to leave." she says.

"Right? Is that why you left me in this marriage? Because it was a bad game? Because I was a bad game?"