You Go, I Go

Chapter 7

After an emotional trip to New York (again), Peter had joined them back at the compound. Sylvie felt a strange overprotective urge towards him, as though something had clicked in her, and she now felt the need to protect him at all costs. He was just a kid and he had been thrust into danger so many times, it had caused the loss of his mentor/father figure and his aunt/mother figure.

"Dear, you're tensing again," Loki said softly against her ear.

She'd almost forgotten she was laying with Loki again. "Sorry," she winced, resenting the fact that he knew her inside out.

"You're worried about the boy," he assessed.

"I don't even know why!" she exclaimed, letting out an exasperated sigh. "I just feel this immense sense of responsibility for him now. I have since I saw him on the timeline."

"Sylvie Laufeydottir!" Loki smirked. "Are you feeling motherly instincts towards Spider-Boy?"

"Oh, shut up!" she sighed, rolling her eyes and pushing Loki away from her. But she knew it was probably true. She sat up. It was a tall order for her to expect that it wasn't true. She'd invested quite the time and argument to bring him here.

"You do know that it's okay to have those feelings, right?" Loki asked her, sitting up next to her.

"Then why does it feel so wrong?" she asked.

"Does it?" he questioned her. "It doesn't seem that way to me. I don't think it's because it feels wrong, I think it's because it feels different. Strange, if you will. You've never had a child to care for. I'm sure your feelings for me felt 'wrong' as well. It's just because it's new, and there's nothing wrong with that."

"Oh, Loki," she said, tears in her eyes. "You're probably right. Again."

They both chuckled, and he wiped the tears that left her eyes before they could reach her cheeks. He had been nothing but supportive and loving with her since they were reunited. Having these motherly feelings towards Peter was making her think, however. She was always so busy running from the TVA and trying to bring it down, she didn't have time to think about having children. Did Loki want them? Did she want them? Could she have them? Would it be possible when she and Loki started running the timeline together? It seemed like such an isolated life, and she wouldn't want that for her potential children. Did they have to run things from the Citadel? There were so many questions and not enough faith in the potential answers. It was scaring her to think about the implications of family planning.

"Sylv, breathe," Loki told her, alarmed.

She hadn't even realised she'd started hyperventilating. Now she was finding it hard to find her breath without taking another shallow one once she found it again. It was making her feel dizzy, so she tried to focus on copying Loki's actions.

"In, out," she could barely hear him saying. "That's it. In, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four."

When she finally calmed down, she snuggled with Loki for a while. She tried not to think about what had sent her spiralling into a panic attack, but she knew it was a conversation she'd have to have with him... eventually. She fell asleep pretty quickly, and she found herself having wonderful dreams about her and Loki's children. When she woke again to Loki softly telling her that dinner was ready, he was smiling at her.

"You were having sweet dreams," he noted.

Sylvie blushed. "Just wishful thinking," she replied softly. "Things that are bittersweet because they seem so out of reach."

"Maybe they're not," he suggested.

She sighed. "Currently, yes, they are," she told him. "Maybe one day, but right now I just don't see how they're in the realm of possibility. Let's go get dinner, I'm famished."

Loki looked at her questioningly, but followed her out into the hallways of the compound. She knew he was going to continue to wonder what was getting her down so much, but she didn't believe she had the strength or courage to admit anything to him. Surely, he'd understand if she were to keep this to herself.

At dinner, Sylvie took a chance to try and get closer to Wanda. "So, Wanda," she started, "what have you been doing since Westview?"

"You know about that?" Wanda asked, surprised. "I've just been trying to rein in my chaos magic. It's... difficult to control at times, especially when my emotions are heightened."

"I totally understand that," she responded. "I'd be happy to help you train, if you'd like. I had to learn on my own, and I'd love to help you."

Wanda smiled and nodded. "Thank you," she said appreciatively. "It's been really lonely since..."

"Billy and Tommy," Sylvie breathed, her motherly instincts hitting her hard once again. "I can't say I know how it feels, but I'd like to help you get your boys back. The ones in the Hex may not have been real, but they exist somewhere out there. I'd say that's why you can hear them."

"I'm confused," the redhead said, shaking her head. "Are you saying they're real in other timelines?"

"Yes," Sylvie answered. "And I suspect you can travel the multiverse, in a sense, without the need of a TemPad. You've been hearing the Billy and Tommy from another timeline. That may mean your magic can link through the multiverse."

"I suspected, but..."

"Wanda!" Strange yelled out from another part of the compound.

Everyone rushed to Wanda's room, where Stephen had apparently been snooping. He held a big and heavy book in his hands. Sylvie noticed it immediately as the Darkhold. Oh, Wanda...

"What were you doing in my room?!" Wanda asked darkly, her powers beginning a slow eruption from her.

"That doesn't matter," Strange responded. "What were you doing with the damn Darkhold?!"

"Agatha had it in her basement," Wanda answered simply, her powers still growing. "I took it to train myself."

"In dark magic?" Strange was dumbfounded. "You can't use dark magic for good, Wanda, you do realise that, right?"

"And what would you have had me done after Westview?" she questioned.

"I would've brought you back to the Sanctum," he replied. "Mentored you in proper management of your powers!"

"Wanda," Sylvie warned, knowing the terrors that would unleash if Wanda's powers went out of control again. "Let Stephen take the Darkhold. He can make sure it never gets into the wrong hands, and I can train you. Properly, without dark magic. Remember, chaos and light can coexist. Loki and I are living proof."

Wanda took a few moments to breathe and calm herself before she nodded solemnly, and Stephen took the Darkhold through a portal. Sylvie knew he was taking it away to destroy it. He'd been searching for it for the Sorcerer Supreme since he joined the Sanctum, and the end goal was to destroy it. She shooed everyone who had congregated in Wanda's room away and sat with Wanda, soothing her until the witch fell asleep. She bumped into Peter in the hallway as she exited Wanda's room. They shared a look of concern for each other before heading to their respective sleeping quarters.