Our Secret - a 'Sebson' fan fiction

Part Seven - I Can't Keep This Secret Anymore...

Ever since Jenson and Sebastian had taken a step forward in their relationship, due to that kiss, Sebastian had become a little more open to the idea of kissing Jenson out in the paddocks, just out of sight of the public. It made him feel happier, being able to hold Jenson and get so much affection outside the hotel room. However, after a few weeks, Sebastian had begun to think. He loved being able to be a little more affectionate in public but he felt that it just wasn't enough. Sebastian had realised how much he wanted to let everyone know about him and Jenson. But that one question that kept circling his mind was 'what would Jenson say?'. He thought about it everywhere he went. Even during a race, it was still on Seb's mind.

The Silverstone race had passed: Mark had won, with Felipe and Lewis second and third.

Sebastian was excited to be going back to Germany for the next Grand Prix; it didn't take a genius to know that!

Jenson dropped his bags in his room, falling onto the bed in exhaustion. He had jetlag, and quite frankly, just wanted to sleep. He sat up, looking at the time on his phone: 21:32. Well, there was no wonder Jenson was tired! He kicked his shoes off and pulled off his t-shirt, throwing it carelessly on the floor before diving under the duvet, ready to sleep. Jenson closed his eyes... Then his phone went off. Picking up his phone, hoping he wouldn't drop it on his face, Jenson checked the message:

-From: Sebi

'Jense, I can't sleep. Can I come in your room? xxx'-

Jenson smiled. Having Sebastian with him always helped him sleep easier; it was so comforting for them both.

-From: Jenson

'Sure thing Sebi, I'll unlock the door :* xxx'

He placed his phone back on the side, getting up to unlock his room door for his waiting partner.

Sebastian snuck out of his room, making sure he had everything he needed for the morning. The first practice wasn't until Friday, which was a couple of days away, so both drivers could stay with each other longer in the morning without having to worry about getting a bollocking from either Christian or Martin.

Checking there was no one else around; Sebastian hurried down the corridor to Jenson's room. As Sebastian let himself in, Jenson was still curled up in bed, waiting for Sebastian's arrival. But also partly too lazy to get up and greet Sebastian how he usually does, with one of those long, sweet kisses which give Sebastian goose bumps. He locked the door and headed straight to Jenson, who'd actually managed to sit up went he saw Seb.

"You know I'm after that kiss you sent me in that text, right?" Sebastian said, clambering onto the bed beside Jenson.

"Hmm, I think you should persuade me to kiss you first..." Jenson smirked, still having his eyes closed.

"Oh come on!" Sebastian liked it when Jenson did this, and he tended to do it a lot, "You can't resist!"

But Jenson didn't play along for a long time like usual. He looked at Sebastian, his fingers tracing Seb's jaw line before placing a soft kiss against Sebastian's lips. Sebastian sighed, happy to feel Jenson's kiss again.

"I love you so much" Jenson said to him, finding Seb's hand.

"I love you more" Sebastian replied, cuddling close to Jenson.

"No, I love you more!"

Sebastian went to argue back but Jenson stopped him.

"Don't bother, I'll only win" Jenson added with a cheeky grin.

The two talked and talked for what seemed like hours. But not even after an hour, both drivers were almost asleep. But Seb had still been thinking about telling the world about their relationship. He had to tell Jenson, sooner rather than later.

"Hey, Jense?"

Jenson looked down at Seb, "Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Sebastian felt the nerves building up inside him.

"Sure you can! What's up?"

"Well, I've been thinking about something..." Sebastian started, "You know, to do with us..."

Jenson looked puzzled.

"What about us?"

Sebastian sighed, "I want people to know Jense."

Jenson's facial expression didn't change. But he did look a little more stunned than confused.

"Why?"

Sebastian turned his head away from Jenson, "I-I don't know. I mean, I do know why, but it's just-"

"Sebi, please, just tell me. I want you to be honest" Jenson said calmly, curious as to why Sebastian wanted to tell everyone.

"Why wouldn't people accept us even if we did come out?" Sebastian asked, "It's our relationship, we have the right to be together..."

Jenson watched Sebastian, his own mind beginning to ask the same question.

"I want to be able to kiss you in public, hold your hand walking through the paddocks, and be able to tell you I love you without caring or worrying if anyone heard me..." Sebastian sighed sadly, "...Jense, why can't we do all of that? Is being gay really that bad?"

But Jenson didn't answer. He stood up to kneel in front of Sebastian, gripping hold of his hands tightly. He kept his eyes at the floor, feeling guilty for making sure they stayed quiet.

"I-I guess I really don't know Seb..." Jenson mumbled, "...I just, ju-"

Sebastian looked down at Jenson, noticing the tears drip down his face. Sebastian felt the guilt rush across him; why had he been so selfish? He knew now that he shouldn't have mentioned this to Jenson but was too stupid to realise it to begin with.

"Jense, I'm sorry" Sebastian apologised, "I never should've brought this up..."

Jenson was sobbing, sitting cross-legged on the floor, his head in his hands. Sebastian sat in front of him.

"Come here" Sebastian pulled Jenson onto his lap, cuddling him, "It's alright Jense, don't worry about it."

Jenson managed to calm down a little bit, "Sebi, I want people to know too."

"Are you sure? We don't have to tell people" Sebastian questioned.

Jenson nodded, "Yes."

Sebastian sighed. Telling everyone was going to be a lot harder than he'd originally thought...