She fell first but he fell harder

Chapter 28

TW: TALK OF SELF-HARM. (Message me if needed, I'm here for everyone that is struggling:))

Tears slipped down my cheeks as I begged Harry to stay. He looked at me and let the words out of his mouth.

"You can suffer alone. I never loved you, and I never will." He didn't hesitate whilst saying this, and I dropped down to my knees and pleaded for one last chance.

"Your a dirty slag, Y/n. I hope you and that baby dies." He said, letting a grin form at the corner of his mouth. I threw my head in my hands as Harry walked out. Ethan walked in, and threw a duffel bag at me.

"Pack your shit, your not staying here. No one loves you, you pathetic piece of shit." He scowled at me, giving me a dirty look.

Suddenly, I awoke startled. I shot up, and could hardly breath. Sweat dripped down from my hair to my cheeks. Harry turned over, and immediately pulled himself up.

"Y/n! Come here, darling. Deep breaths, come on." Harry's croaky morning voice spoke, as he pulled me into a tight grasp. I stared at the wall in front of me, trying to steady my breathing. I didn't hold Harry back I just stared, and continued trying to steady my breaths. I held my chest, and looked at Harry.

"Please- please Harry, don't ever- leave me" I said, trying not to break down into tears, and between hitched breaths.

"What do you mean? I'm not going anywhere." He told me, frowning. "Y/n, is this with what happened yesterday? And why you was acting so strange? You can talk to me come on." He added on, I looked into his eyes, and saw nothing but sorrow for me.

"I can't tell." I said, unable to speak anymore as my breathing got terrible.

"Squeeze my hand, Y/n" Harry said, nodding along to me. I squeezed his hand tight, and squeezed my eyes shut too. Soon enough I was able to control my breathing a bit better, but I was still startled. I deserved to feel this pain, and soon enough somehow, the urge to cut myself deep came to my mind again. I pulled my sleeve up from my long nightshirt, and scratched my arm as Harry stared.

"Y/n stop!" He yelled, almost letting everyone know we was awake. He grabbed my arm, and lucky for him, but not myself, I didn't leave a mark in my arm. It just went a little red from the few scratches I was able to do before Harry had stopped me.

"I need you to talk to me, Y/n, I can't have you going on like this. It isn't healthy, please tell me what's on your mind." He said, firmly rubbing my hand up and down showing pain in his eyes for me. At this point I was just being pure selfish. I shook my head no, and took my hand out of his grasp.

"If you don't feel like talking now, we can talk later. But I need to make sure your going to be okay." He said, placing his hand back onto my hand. I let a tear stroll down my cheek, and then I realised at some point I'd have to tell him. I stood up, and paced backwards and forwards, cooling down, and breathing in and out. After a few minutes of doing so, my body finally structured to It's normal self, and Harry kept looking at me.

"Are you okay now? Can we please talk?" Harry asked me, sitting up properly now.

"I'll disappoint everyone. You'll leave, and Ethan won't want anything to do with me anymore. I'll fail you all, this is my fault." I said, not giving myself any time to breathe within the sentence.

"Woah woah, slow down there. What's got you this worked up? And I can assure you, no matter what you've done I will never leave you, and your definitely not failing me right now. In fact, I'm super proud of you. You've come so far, and I'm sure Ethan's proud of you, aswell." I looked down to the floor and then to the alarm clock, that read 3:46am. I sighed, and sat on my bed, facing away from Harry.

"Y/n, please tell me what's going on." He begged me again. I looked down, and swallowed a large piece of guilt and tried to bring up courage to tell him.

"I had a dream, that you left me. Because I was, you know. P-" I tried to get the word out, but my brain wouldn't let me. My whole body just felt like shutting down on me. I didn't want to be here right now, especially not with the boy I'm about to fail.

"Go on?" Harry said, making me turn my head to him. I looked down at my thumbs.

"I dreamt that you was leaving me, and Ethan was kicking me out because I got pregnant." I spat it out, my anxiety hit curves and walls, and I fiddled with the bracelet on my wrist and began to close my eyes worried of what Harry would say next.

"Now that's just silly. Not that you feel like the way you do because of it, but because of your stupid brain making up things that definitely won't happen." Harry said, pulling my body into the side of him.

"I am pregnant, Harry." I said, letting a tear of worry strain down my face, making its way to the corner of my lip, tasting the salt. I looked up at the boy, and he had his jaw slightly dropped, and his eyes widened.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said anything." I dug my face into my hands, as I felt Harry wrap his hands around my waist and pull me closer to him. He left a kiss on my forehead.

"Harry, I'm sorry. I know your job is probably at It's peak right now, and I'm about to ruin it and-" He stopped me before I could say anymore.

"Y/n, I'm not mad, I'm definitely not upset, I'm just shocked. But just because your pregnant, doesn't mean I'm going to leave, there's no way in hell that I will leave you for something that's down to both of us." Harry said, curling my hair behind my ear.

"So your not going to leave, and your definitely not mad?" I asked him, my eyebrows knitting in confusion as I looked at him.

"How could I be mad? It's like me being mad at myself doing something and knowing the outcome but still doing it. It's my fault too, Y/n, not yours." He said, placing a soft kiss on my forehead. "Let's talk more later, you seem knackered, babe" He added on.

And as if on cue, my body shut down, and I closed my eyes.

-

Harry's POV:

I woke up, and suddenly remembered last night. I felt so bad for Y/n, because for her to think like that she must have a shit past. I'm definitely not leaving her any time soon, I love her. We just need to solve this problem, together. I know that really It's up to her what she does, but I'd really like to be a dad. But, I'd be far from good. I'd be the cool dad, for sure. Unlike JJ, he's too strict with Holly. But he's a great dad.

I think that the plan today will be to go to the doctors, I'm only guessing that she took a pregnancy test, I'm not sure she'd go for a scan without me.