Racing hearts

Part 1 - Excuses

Looking at the piece of paper that sat on the table in front of me, I wiped my hands down my face in irritation, Nothing was coming to mind. I brought the steaming cup of coffee that stood on the table to my lips, rolling my eyes as I read the few words that were clearly written on the page.

I groaned, grabbing the page and crumpling it into a tight ball. "You'll come up with something soon enough," I looked up at the man who had just cleared the table next to me, "Thanks, Dan. hopefully I will," I smiled slightly at my Godfather before he walked over to the counter. I stared at the wall, my mind traveling to places I'd rather avoid but I was helpless. I didn't know what to do, The only emotion I could feel in that moment was pain as I succumbed to the memories that haunted my mind.

I could feel my eyes beginning to burn, my leg was rapidly bouncing up and down while my hand fiddled with the ring wrapped around my finger. I was snapped back to reality when a ringtone escaped my phone, I took a deep ragged breath, wiping my eyes before looking down at the device.

"Hey, Max," I put on a voice that contrasted how I truly felt to hide the difficulty of not breaking. "Hey, Mads. I have a question for you." He stated, his voice escaping the speakers from the phone. "What's up?" I began to pack up my things as I noticed the time. I had 20 minutes to get to the studio otherwise I was going to be late.

"How would you like to come to the race in Australia? I can get a paddock pass for Alya as well if you want?" I could envision the grin that was undoubtable sat on his lips even if it was masked with a pleading tone. I've been friends with Max for years, him and my brother used to go to school together and although he never really went, him and my brother grew a close friendship which later lead to me and him becoming great friends.

He had been in Formula 1 since he was 17 and shockingly I had never seen or been to one of his races. He had tried many times to get me to go but every time I had refused due to school and my determination to finish my first album that was released just over a year ago.

"You know what? I'll come," I answered while connecting the phone call to the Bluetooth in my car. "Wait.. Really?" the excitement in his voice made the sides of my lips lift. "Are you in Holland or England right now?" My mother was Dutch and my father was English, although I never met her, I lived with my mother's parents in the Netherlands while I was growing up and a few months after my 17th birthday, we moved to England. I have decided to reside in both Countries, giving me the option between the two.

I have stayed in Monaco before with Max for a few weeks during the off season in the winter break but I don't go often. "I'm in Holland right now, I'm on my way to the studio," I rolled my eyes at the clock as the car sat stationary due to the traffic. "If it's alright with you, I'll be flying to Australia on Monday, you can fly with me if you want," I thought for a second, contemplating if I needed to do anything before then. "sure, yeah, I've got no reason not to."

The road finally became clear and I finally was able to spring the car to life as I headed towards the clear roads that helped calm my nerves as I was worried that I was going to be late. "Okay, I'll text you more about it tomorrow, I'll leave you to go to the studio," I looked down at the clock, noticing that I had just under 15 minutes until I needed to be there.

"Alright, Bye Max," I heard a faint mutter on the other end before the phone call ended. I took a deep breath I tried to search my mind for an excuse that I could use as to why I didn't have any sort of ideas for any song. My manager is going to be furious, my finger began tapping on the steering wheel as I reached open road, I turned on the radio to distract me from my thoughts and the worry buried in my mind.

~

"What do you mean, you don't have anything," She yelled across the room, she placed her head in his hand in disbelief. "Look, I'm sorry. It's just been hard to come up with ideas, I'm dealing with some personal stuff." She looked at me sympathetically, understanding my reasoning. Me and Sarah had been quite close since I moved to England, it was only a month after my first album release that she became my manager.

"I know, and I get that, but we need to think about what's best for your career and that means that you need to release some songs," My media manager nodded along to her words in complete agreement with her statement. At the beginning of my career I never even thought of the possibility of needing a media manager but since an Incident with the press came about, around 6 months ago, Sarah thought it best to hire someone to help me.

Unlike the others that interviewed, Emily was skilled and knew how to handle herself in a difficult situation. However, she can be strict at times, especially when I don't follow her direct order. I understand that she only has my image in mind and wants me to not have much negative attention especially when I can help it.

"September, I'll have the whole album written by then," she looked at me blankly for a few seconds as she contemplated my offer.

"Alright, September, but no more excuses," I took a deep breath and nodded at her. 7 months, that was more than enough time. I think.