Forget the pain

 Art used for cover: by syblatortue on tumblr

I do not own the art

Triggers include but likely will not be limited to: explicit language, Sadstuck, boyxboy,violence, Davekat, Meteorstuck

Songs I listened to: The Band Perry : "If I Die Young"/ The Birthday Massacre “Kill The Lights”/ Falling In Reverse “Caught Like A Fly”/ Christina Perri “A Thousand Years”/ Matchbox 20 “How Far We've Come”/ IAMX “Volatile Times”/ The Offspring “You're gonna go far, kid”/Maroon 5 “Payphone”

I hope you all fucking appreciate what I went through to write this, I had a total of 6 emotional breakdowns.

Pain. Betrayal. How could she? How could he? Karkat Vantas turned his back on his moirail and his former matesprit. He didn’t want to see it anymore.  He couldn’t look them in the eyes now he knew what they had been doing behind his back for who knows how long. They hadn’t noticed his presence, but he had noticed theirs, alright. It made him sick to know that she was caliginous for that clown! He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth. She was his! Like it wasn’t bad enough already that she had flushed feelings for that damned human coolkid! Where did that leave him? Alone. Completely and utterly alone. All his friends had someone, but not him. It took him everything he had to keep in the tears that were threatening to fall from his eyes. He had known Terezi and Gamzee for sweeps and he had never expected them to hurt him so badly. Not them. He had known that she hated him but not like this, never like this.

Karkat continued his journey back to his room. No one would bother him there. The only place he could cry in peace, without having to worry about anyone seeing him break down.  He was almost there now, just one corner left to turn and he would be safe. ‘Sup Karkles.’ No not now . Not now! His clenched fists tightened and he could feel them cutting up the skin of his hand palms.                

‘Leave me the fuck alone, Strider. I don’t want to talk to you.’ He growled at the bespectacled human, quickly hiding the pain behind his usual façade of anger. He would never show him the pain that was hidden deep inside his heart. Some people thought that it was impossible to hurt this loud-mouthed Cancer but they couldn’t be more wrong. Behind those harsh words and angry tirades lay a pained troll heart. His problem was not that he didn’t care, he simply cared too much. For every single one of them. They thought he hated everyone, as that was what he made them think, when in fact the opposite was true. He never truly hated anyone. He was almost incapable of feeling true hatred except for self-hatred. The Cancer hated himself so much he even sometimes believed he was his own Kismesis. He didn’t even hate Gamzee and Terezi for betraying him because he blamed it on himself. If he hadn’t been so fucking selfish, if he hadn’t wanted her in every single Quadrant this would never have happened. She could’ve been flushed for that Strider and he would’ve had her in the Black Quadrant. He would have been fine with that. Gamzee was not good for her, she was going to end up hurt.

‘You’re even crabbier than usual, Karkitty.’ The human fixed his sunglasses as he chuckled at his own joke and the nickname he had stolen from Nepeta. ‘What’s up your ass?’ The troll scowled angrily but continued walking. ‘Hey! Wait up!’ Dave grabbed a hold of his arm and pulled him back.  A growl escaped Karkat’s lips as he roughly pulled his arm back as if Dave had burned his skin.

‘Don’t you fucking dare touch me you ugly pile of trash!’ A blond eyebrow was raised at his response but no words were said until he noticed the wetness of the smaller male’s eyes.

‘Are you…okay?’ The words were spoken carefully as if Karkat was an active volcano that could  erupt at any moment without any warning, which, truth to be told, he was.