How Foolish of Me

A Fools Mistake

Missing you means I can't sleep,
It means I can't go one day,
Without you on my mind.
Missing you means I can't love,
Not the way I loved you,
Even when there were moments it felt like
I did not.

Leaving a void in my life,
A hole so deep I can't climb out of.
Night after night after night,
I feel the pain I made for myself,
The woman I pray for today,
Missing you means I'll never feel the same.

What hurts most is the self infliction,
The fact that I chose this loneliness,
I decided it was best to not be yours,
Such a foolish mistake,
Such a shame.

Missing you means I'm not happy,
Yet you are,
Which indeed is what I want,
But at what price must I pay?
Selfish,
I know.

Missing you means I remember,
I remember each time I made you feel less,
Each time I didn't say I love you,
Your beautiful,
Your perfect.

I pray that you can somehow feel my pain,
Not in a derogatory way,
But in a way that you understand I'm sorry,
Which may never be enough.

Therefore I pray for the time.
The time that I need to resurrect
our relationship,
The time to see you again,
Love you better and understand.

How foolish of me believing that I will ever have the chance.