Beautiful Mirage

Chapter 4

I still remember that day.....the day of my destruction. The day on which all this chaos has started. I still remember that feeling because it never left me in first place. That fucking dreading feeling which feels like someone has been continuously stabbing my hear......the burn.....the tears of blood and somethings which I can't even express.

You all know why am I this much affected by this whole incident , because my marriage was actually love marriage.... He was choosen by me , I have decided to spend my whole future with him and never in my wildest dreams, I have thought that he will leave me at point where you actually need a life partner most in your life. He was not what he was actually showing to me , he is actually a monster in a human disguise. It makes my skin crawl, that how can I love someone like him who is so disgusting, how can I love him more than myself , how can I sacrifice my everything for him...how , just How...?

He was always a walking red flag , the signs were always there........but like an fucking idiot I was, I always ignored it , thought that he is different , his way of showing love is different and seriously I was that much blinded by him. You know it happens when there is no one for you who can understand you , when you are alone in your whole big ass so called family.
As you know in my family we were total four children and I again was always the extra child in family , my parents love my elder sister because she was the first child , they love my brother because he was a boy and last but not least they love my younger sister because she was the youngest in family....I was never there in there list.
Now I actually understand why people always say , middle child never gets the love which they actually deserved.
I was always a responsibility for everyone, but to sad, I got to know this very late.

This whole cheating incident, which actually was the starting of something very sinister in my life....at that time when I got to know about this whole cheating issue , I didn't knew that how much more Havoc it will cause in my life. That I will even doubt that why am I even born in the first place..... It was not only test for me by God but it was also a mirror for me to know how much actual importantance I carry in my loved ones life......and I swear on God , the truth of the reality mirror was literally going to shake me upto my core.

I always wanted my everything to be perfect.......perfect husband, perfect in law's , perfect everything but ,I myself become anything but perfect.

Sometimes I think , what is my fault in this whole scenario , is it wrong to love someone , is it wrong to expect love , loyalty , respect , from him , is it wrong to trust the one who you love and who claims to love you....now when everyone say you should never completely trust someone , it's my fault because I trusted him.... So I just wanna ask everyone, is it my fault to dream a loving husband , a family who can have my back , was my dream that much impossible to come true....?

Because every girl or boy have this dream in there life , to have someone who only have there eyes for you , who thinks for you before everything , for whom you are special... everyone wants there someone special...

So no I am not wrong in expecting all this thing in my life and now I going to change it , because no one literally fucking no one has right to destroy my life and then live like that nothing has happened when actually his whole existence is actually responsible for all this in first place.

Thank you everyone for reading this and take care... ❤