Why?..

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In the oppressive calm of the classroom, where time seemed to stand still, Dazai Osamu and Nakahara Chuuya were attending a somewhat boring lesson. The room was bathed in an almost tangible silence, disturbed only by the shy breathing and muffled sounds of pens against paper. The pale rays of the afternoon sun filtered through the windows, casting dancing shadows on the students' concentrated faces.

It was in this environment of almost supernatural tranquility that Chuuya felt a light weight land on his table. It was a crumpled piece of paper, smuggled through the boredom-laden air of the class. He opened it, his curiosity piqued by the unexpected interruption.

The message was from Dazai: "Hey chibi!" Chuuya looked up, finding Dazai's playful gaze fixed on him.

"What ?" he replied, returning the paper, his intrigue mixed with impatience.

"Want to eat with me?!?! :3" Chuuya, surprised by the direct question and the emoji scribbled at the end, replied with a mixture of confusion and poorly concealed amusement, "Excuse me?"

Rumors had circulated in the hallways, whispers spreading like wildfire among the curious and often cruel students. Many say Dazai was gay, a rumor that, in their conservative circles, seemed enough to marginalize him. Chuuya, for his part, didn't care at all about these rumors. What worried him was the looks of others, these silent but heavy judgments. In a moment of cowardice that he would bitterly regret, Chuuya decided to play the card of contemptuous indifference.

"I don't think you've realized that I don't want to hang out with you."

His message, as cold as his gaze, was poisoned by false superiority. Dazai's response was a simple, sad ":(".

Chuuya, locked in his role, continued cruelly:

"Do you think I'm going to associate with a gay guy? I don't want people to think I'm like you."

The silence that followed was broken by the silent forced laughter of Chuuya, who added,

"What? Do you want to cry like a little girl? Lol"

Dazai's heart seemed to collapse under the weight of these words, his hands were shaking, a tremor that Chuuya pretended not to see. He tore the paper, a gesture he hoped would be an end to this interaction.

The end of class was not a release for Chuuya, who was haunted by his own actions. A feeling of regret and shame crept into him. Unfortunately, that day, he had to go see Dazai to get one of the notebooks he was missing, while he was walking towards Dazai's place under a December night sky. When he arrived there, the house seemed engulfed in darkness, a shadow among shadows.

Chuuya walked up the stairs with growing apprehension. He knew the confrontation was going to be painful. The door to Dazai's room was ajar, like a silent invitation or omen.

"Dazai?" he called into the silence. His call went unanswered.

Chuuya enters, annoyed at having to talk to Dazai

"listen Dazai, I'm sorry, stop ignoring me now" but he instantly shuts up as soon as he sees him. Dazai, on the ground, his arms mutilated, looked at him with tears in the corners of his eyes.

"C-Chuuya...what are you doing here?.."

Chuuya was speechless, watching as the hot red blood flowed from Dazai's arms, the ground was speckled with his blood. Dazai slowly gets up and looks at him coldly, still with tears in his eyes.

"Get out of my house"

Chuuya looks him straight in the eyes, he felt like vomiting, his head was spinning. He pretended to be angry and shouted at her

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