Where hearts roam

Part 2

"You know, it doesn't taste that bad. You can have some if you want."

They're seated at the table Jungkook occupied a few minutes ago. The girl was slurping the cold noodles rapidly, unmindful of his presence as she took one bit after another. He glances her way and shakes his head.

"I'm fine." He replies calmly. She throws the cup in a nearby bin once she's done and lets out a satisfied hum.

"I'm Chaeyoung by the way." She says after a few seconds of silence, "What's your name?"

"Jungkook."

"So, Jungkook, what's a guy like you doing here late at night?"

He looks at her then, a little perplexed. He doesn't know how to respond. Should he play it casually and lie? Should he take the chance and pour his heart out? None of those options seems like the right answer, so he settles for silence. He hopes he's not being rude; he just doesn't know what to say.

He's overthinking again. Shit, he's not good with people. It's why he avoids them in the first place.

But Chaeyoung doesn't take it to heart. She goes on as if she's the only person there.

"I just got out of a party actually. It's why I'm wearing this sparkly dress." She points at her outfit and only then does he notice her legs shaking, the cold seeping through her exposed milky skin.

He weighs his options. Should he offer her his coat? But she might reject it and he'll be put in an awkward situation.

"It was a costume party actually, but I didn't have any cosplay, so I just wore this and—"

But she's freezing, even if she refuses, he should persist. Her health is in danger. But what if he comes off as demanding and scares her off?

"Now that I'm looking at it, it really wasn't a good choice. I could've gone with a tight black leather mini dress or something, kind of like Cat Woman's costume, it's—"

She stops as she feels the weight of something warm on her lap. She looks down. It's a coat. His coat. She stares at him, an unreadable expression on her face.

He doesn't say anything. He just rubs his hands together and leans back on his chair, trying hard not to cower under her gaze. He doesn't like drawing attention to himself so he leans back and avoids her gaze. He stares at the stop sign across the street, turning from green to red.

"Why didn't you eat your noodles?" her question surprises him. He looks down at his feet, undecisive.

"They got cold. I don't like cold noodles."

"Why did you let them get cold?"

To the inexperienced ear, this would seem like a stupid question, but Jungkook knows what she means, knows exactly the underlying message behind it, the true meaning of the question: What's on your mind?

"I got distracted." He replies swiftly, clearly uncomfortable by the sudden change of topic, but Chaeyoung persists.

"By what?"

"My thoughts."

"What were they saying?"

He looks down at his lap, uncertain, hesitant. Scared. It's been so long since he's spoken to anyone about himself, it feels a little unsettling; like an old rusty abandoned room that's getting its first sun-glimpse in the last decade, and suddenly all the dusty corners, the broken furniture, the cracked wood floors, every little hidden part is out in the open, exposed for everyone to see.

Chaeyoung senses his discomfort and mentally curses herself for being invasive.

"Feelings are weird." She says suddenly, directing the attention back to her. "They never end, especially the terrible ones, like sadness." She lets out an exorbitant groan. "I fucking hate being sad. It's so pointless! And you get sad for the stupidest reasons ever. Oh my god, I remember once I was so sad that I missed the last screening of 'La la Land' in theaters! I cried about it for 2 hours! 2 hours of my life lost doing something so stupid! And it wasn't even a big deal. Like, I forgot the movie even existed! I didn't even watch it." she stops for a minute to catch her breath and lets out a weak laugh. "But you know what's the worst feeling though?" she looks at him, and he sees the answer clear in her eyes. It's so palpable that he can't help but let a bit of his stoic façade crumble. The eyes don't lie, you can't fake the story they hold behind them, and hers display nothing short of sorrow.

She notices his sudden shift in expression and that's enough for her to know. He understands. He gets it, and she's not sure if that makes her feel better or worse.

"Loneliness is one hell of a drug" He finds himself saying, despite his attempts to keep himself hidden under his shell. He doesn't know what prompted him to speak, maybe it's the sudden urge to set his bottled emotions free, maybe it's the forlorn look in her eyes; Maybe a little bit of both.

"You got that right." She replies in a faint tone. "A drug that I can't get rid of, but at the same time, I don't want to."

"You get so used to it that you can't see yourself without it." He finishes, the dark thoughts coming back at him again.

"It becomes part of you, and you think that maybe that's how my life was meant to be. Screwing around, seeking shelter in people who don't give rat shit about you just to feel like you belong somewhere, and it hurts every damn time, but you can't stop." She says shakily, her face heating up at her outpour of emotions. Jungkook stays silent for a while, going back to doing the one thing he tried to avoid so badly: thinking. He thinks and it leaves him in a mental daze, millions of words circling his oversaturated brain, but none coming out of his mouth. He gives himself more time, then, he finally says:

"People make me feel worse."

"Yeah? How so?"

"I don't know. There's this feeling of discomfort that resides within me every time I meet someone, no matter who they are. It's like everyone's an enemy, they're all out there to get me, and if I open up, it's game over."

"So what do you do when you're lonely?"

"I stay alone."

"Doesn't it hurt?"

He looks at her "Doesn't seeking shelter in others hurt too?"

She chuckles darkly, "touché." A pause, then "Tonight was different though."

"What do you mean?"

"I felt suffocated. I mean, I usually feel empty but this time it got unbearable. I told you I was at a party, right? I always go to where crowds are, but tonight, something felt off. Everything seemed off, so I left early in a hurry." She points at the boots she's wearing "Those aren't even mine; I just grabbed the first pair I saw in the doorway and ran away. I don't know why, I just- I couldn't stay there for another minute" Her fists grip his coat tightly, holding onto it like a safe blanket, and maybe to her, at this moment, it is.

"We all have our limits. You probably reached yours and just got tired of it all." He reasons.

She shrugs "Maybe. Did you ever reach that limit?"

"Countless times." He tucks his hand into his pants' pockets. "Today's one of them." They both smile.

"How fitting." She replies, tucking a hair strand behind her ear.

It is fitting, Jungkook thinks. Sometimes, the world works in mysterious ways that he struggles to grasp what to make out of it, but this time, as he's sitting next to Chaeyoung, sharing the heavy weight their hearts carry through every step, he thinks he finally understands why some things in life are unexpected.

Moments like these are like little gifts from the universe, a sign that he can feel the light amidst the obscurity.

It's not what he asked for, but it's exactly what he needed.

"Wanna go somewhere?" he looks over at her, hoping that she can decipher the look on his face, the crystal-clear light of longing shimmering in his eyes. Longing for the human connection he denied himself for years.

She smiles. "I was gonna ask the same thing."