The Contract

Chapter 2

A couple of hours at the bar had turned into a conversation about my tragically lack lustre sex life.

"What do you mean 'eyes closed'?" Cam laughed, brows knitted in confusion.

"I don't know, I just hate eye contact. It doesn't matter what she does, how good she is, if my eyes are open I can't fucking come." I shrugged.

"Even if she's a ten? And you're looking down at her porno style, full throating?" He sounded more shocked than amused now.

"I'm telling you, man, Riley Reid could suck me off, and I still wouldn't want to watch her do it." I said.

"Are you sure you actually like women?" He asked incredulously.

"What? Obviously, bro, I just like it the way I like it." I felt myself growing defensive.

What? Wanting to close my eyes and just focus on the sensation made me gay? No, there was just a whole lot more pleasure in it if I didn't also have to focus on the person at the same time.

Aaron was giving me a strange look that I opted to ignore.

"All I'm saying is if you can't come unless her face is in the pillow or your eyes are closed, you aren't enjoying who you're sleeping with. You're just enjoying the sensation." Cam told me.

"It's not about the person, it is about the sensation." I frowned.

"Maybe when you love a girl, you'll enjoy the personal side more. Maybe you're just not a one night stand kind of guy." He shrugged.

I didn't want to correct him and tell him that my last girlfriend had actually found it extremely frustrating that I never managed to come from sex.

It made me feel like there was something wrong with me for not enjoying it in the way everyone else talked about.

It's not like I didn't enjoy porn or anything. I watched it fairly often, watching the guy pin down her hips, fucking her faster and faster before pulling out. I'd watch him stroke his cock fiercely, grunting as his load exploded from the tip, hips bucking into his hand .

I always tried to time my own orgasm with the guy's in the videos, it made it feel like I was there in that moment, losing myself.

It did in some ways feel wrong watching the guy, but I knew logically it was straight porn. There was nothing about that that was cause to question my sexulity.

"I'm buying another round. Come with me, Haz? I won't be able to carry them all." Aaron said, rescuing me from this conversation.

I nodded and got up abruptly, following him to the bar.

"Thought I better get you out of there. Sexuality is a touchy subject, and Cam shouldn't have pressed it." He said. "Though if that is ever a conversation you wanna have, you know I'd never judge you, man."

"Do you all actually think I'm gay?" I said, bewildered.

"You've just never shown much interest in girls, even though you're so open about sex. So you're clearly interested in it. It doesn't mean you're gay though, could just mean you don't like one night stands, or you're not ready for a relationship yet." He shrugged.

"Just because I told you I can't get it up at the moment, because I'm stressed-"

"If I'm out of line, sorry. But you said yourself, you still watch porn. You can clearly get it up and get off, just not when you're with a woman. But like I said, it might just mean you're not into one night stands." He said.

He was right, and I knew it. There was nothing wrong with my sex drive, just the sex that I was having. But even though I knew he was right, I still wanted to prove him wrong. That was a better alternative to questioning myself.

I walked off, approaching a short girl with ash blond hair and dark blue eyes, slipped into a tight red dress that hugged every curve on her slim figure.