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Lizalise's pov
It's been a while since I have had a moment to myself. Between chasing academic deadlines and trying to feed myself while I am here, honestly I am drowning. I am at whichever phase the Soul brothers were referring to when they wrote that song about how hard it is to be a man.
I practically live at the library and on weekends I work construction to pay for my rent at the condo I share with Trevor. But even with all that my mind still steals a few moments to take me back to that night. It reminds me of those hazel eyes. I am not gay but even if he was a woman we wouldn't be compatible. I have taken a break from dating because emotionally and financially..... I don't have the capacity to entertain anyone.
He has yet to return my hoodie. It was more about seeing him again than it was about having the clothing item back. trevor promised to talk to a friend of his so they could tell him to return it. Maybe if I see him again my mind will stop romanticising him. Maybe he was that attractive that day because I was already intoxicated.
Fortunately I would have time to think about the nigga since I had to get to work. These are the only moments I get to myself. In transit. After I got off the taxi I crossed the street to our current work site. I do construction work whenever I have time. My employers were kind enough to create a roster for me that worked around my classes.
My colleagues were already mixing the concrete so I started opening up cement bags. After passing greetings and wearing my protective gear of course . When I'm at work I like to pretend that I'm a hardworking family man who's going to come home to a beautiful wife and two children. Twins, a boy and a girl. That they are all gonna give me a kiss on the cheek and feed me with a warm meal.
I lost myself to my fantasies until the foreman told us the task we had just done was the last one for the day. The other men were elated since it was Friday and most of them have places to be. The only thing waiting for me was my self-care routine and Trevor's crazy shenanigans. At least I still have some of the weed that the dread head brought so I'm gonna light one up after I'm done cleaning myself. I wonder what his name is. I won't ask Trevor because he acts strange whenever I talk about him. Even that night he wouldn't stop talking about how I give that guy a hoodie in front of the other niggas. I wonder if his skin is as soft as it looks when you touch it.
Lizalise's pov
"Daddy can I have some ear buds. My ears are acting up."
"Clean your ears regularly Lizo, I taught you better. Go get them in my toiletry bag. "
"I clean my ears every other day moss. " My pops gave me a look that said "don't disrespect my husband ". But his husband was disrespecting me, telling me to clean my ears as if I don't know basic sanitary practices.
My gran's old ass sat on the reed mat laughing like she was watching some idiotic reality show on Mojalove. But no man, Malik is annoying sometimes.
"Leave the boy alone, mhlawumbi kukhona umntu othetha ngaye." Maybe someone out there is talking about him. My gran interjected.
"There's someone out there in the world thinking about you boy" She continued. My gran is old so she has a lot of beliefs and superstitions. I didn't believe that but at least she was supporting my argument of having clean ears.
I didn't wanna hear anymore of it so I left the room and went to my parents room. It didn't take long to find my dad's toiletry bag. I didn't find them so I looked in my pops bag. I found them and cleaned my ears. And like I said they were clean. When I was putting it back I noticed a pack of condoms at the bottom. Ewww and it was open too. Parents aren't supposed to do that.
I didn't feel like being around people today so I opted for sitting on the swing outside. Can't believe my parents still have sex. If my dad ever tells us he's pregnant, I'm taking him to the abortion clinic myself. I don't care what Momelezi has to say about it.
"Lizo?" Sino interrupted my train of thought.
"Hey, where's your brother?"
"Hi, he's not home."
"Is his husband around?"
"They went out together but you can leave a message with me." If being nosey was a game I'd be the....... I'd be the best player.... I'd be the champion. English escapes me sometimes.
"No I'll come back myself don't worry." He said holding the tote bag around his arm tighter. It seemed to be carrying some clothing articles.
"Well ok then." I just wanted him to get out of my face already.
"Sure." He said taking some steps back preparing to leave.
"Sharp."
After he left I climbed the tree and sat on a branch so that I wouldn't be so easy to spot. When I checked my messages I found one from a friend of mine telling me that Trevor wants his friend's hoodie back. I told her that I'm currently at home in the countryside and that I would return when I come back. That means that cute nigga didn't like me as my delusions had convinced me he did. He's cute though with his yella ass. He's missing out though because I'm so funny. I'm gonna wear it one more time before I return it.
I saw my brother's car as I slid down the tree. They are so shameless, they abandoned their kids the whole day. I know Manelisi is grimy like that but I expected better from Mivu. When I came back from my room I discovered that they had brought us some fast food. They both got retwists, awww how cute. Again ewww.
We sat down on the table. I started to feel a little lonely. I mean I was surrounded by lovebirds. I was the only one who had yet to experience love. Each one was talking to their partner and here I was wearing a stranger's hoodie in between two kids. What is it about me that wasn't attractive. I can't say I'm unlovable because I know my people love me. But what about romantic love? Why can't I have that?
