float ° nct dream

chapter iii: lost

ryouka was baffled.

all throughout her shift, she was absent minded and empty, seeming to be lost in thoughts. wiping glass seemed endless, cleaning up tables felt slow, and just walking was difficult for her. she was consumed in her own thoughts.

well, a six foot angel is currently residing in her room. wait, was he an angel? his wings did really support the claim, along with his face-- but that's another matter.

ryouka slapped both of her cheeks at the same time. "am i dreaming?" she hushed to herself, eyes widened and pose like an insane person. she was thankful the bar wasn't as crowded as usual, or else jooyoung would be on her ass right now, hurrying her up.

glancing at the clock, ryouka realized her shift was up and hurriedly cleaned up. she untied her apron, placing it aside and made sure everything was where they should be so jooyoung won't have an excuse to hold her back.

"shift's done." she called out, just assuring her boss to hear, then immediately hurried upstairs.

stepping one by one on the creaky wooden floorboards, ryouka didn't know what she was hoping after she opened the door. would he be gone? or would he still be here? ryouka didn't

know which option she was hoping for better.

would he still be alone? maybe he called his other angel brothers to accompany him. wait, that doesn't make sense, he said they were separated. would he have thrashed her room? or maybe burned it down? well there's no smell of smoke so that's a good sign. would he have--

her thoughts were cut short when she finally opened the door, and all overthinking immediately dissipated. to answer your questions, readers, he was still in her room, yes, but he was no longer on her bed. he was fighting the sink.

yes, the sink.

"ryouka!" he called out, struggling to cover himself from the spraying water from her sink.

she hurried to his side in a panic, shocked and confused, and turned off the water. she was baffled, how could one get himself into that

situation?

he was almost completely wet, including his hair, and he looked like a confused yet innocent passing child.

"what were you doing, jisung?!" she couldn't help but exclaim.

"i-i-i'm sorry, i was trying to be helpful!" he looked apologetic, so much so that ryouka's previous sharp gaze softened a bit. she looked down at the sink, seeing his used bowl and glass, along with a fallen sponge, and pieced together what he was doing.

"i told you it's okay to leave the bowl once you're done." she softly spoke, trying to show that she's not angry.

"i know.. i just wanted to help a bit." he sheepishly replied.

she chuckled a bit, finding him cute. "thanks,

jisung." she smiled softly at him and nodded. "you can wash up and change in the bathroom, i think i have larger shirts in my wardrobe. i'll clean up the mess."

his cheeks reddened in bash and a bit of shame. "thank you.. again, ryouka."

after washing up, ryouka prepared a dinner meal for both of them, all the while she couldn't help thinking. was it okay for her to assume he's staying for dinner? he seems to be recovered, albeit not much, maybe he wants to leave. better safe than sorry, i guess.

walking out of the bathroom with damp hair and her oversized shirt fitting nicely on his figure, ryouka can't help but flush in red and look away when she realized she was finding him attractive.

"um, i had to cut holes in the back of the shirt so my wings can come through, is that okay?"

she almost facepalmed, she almost forgot that

his wings of course couldn't fit in a normal shirt. "yeah, that's fine, um, i gave it to you, so it's yours anyway," she cleared her throat, "will you be staying for dinner?"

jisung felt his cheeks heat up a bit. "i mean, i-i've troubled you enough as it is--"

"no-- no! please, i already prepared it for you, so don't feel pressured." she tried to assure awkwardly. this evening has been a lot of awkward waves inside this room.

jisung cleared his throat. "uh, thanks."

they sat down to eat in awkward silent. both introverts with built-in awkwardness in their social nature, it was only natural of the tension building all throughout the air.

"so, uh, how old are you jisung?" she attempted to make conversation slowly.

jisung glanced shortly at her, feeling awkward on

his own. "i'm uh, twenty two this year i think."

i think? shaking off her thoughts, ryouka nodded. "oh, you're older than me by a year. i'm twenty one." she explained briefly with a small smile.

he nodded in response.

another wave of silence washed in.

"um, i'm planning on leaving after dinner, is that okay with you?" jisung started, playing with his food a bit.

"as long as it is with you." she smiled at him. "do you feel better already?"

"yeah, i do." he murmured almost breathlessly.

"..is it okay if i ask where you plan on going after this?" ryouka ended up asking, not being able to hold her curiosity. to be fair, as a six feet tall man with big angel wings on his back, there seems to not be much of an option.

jisung paused shortly. "i.. actually don't know precisely, if i'm being honest." he admitted, looking down at his lap. "i just plan on finding my brothers, no matter how."

ryouka nodded almost admiringly. she admired his dedication even in unfortunately unsupporting situations. as someone who was also separated from her brother, even though it's in a different context, she respected him. she didn't know if his choice was a last resort, or if it was forced, or in any way not something he was really up to, but nonetheless, she still respected him.

it was familiar, in a way.

she remembered when she was young, she also had intentions of finding her older brother. she was convinced he disappeared, that he did not leave him and was held back from coming back to her. she searched for any clues, even convincing grandpa huang to one day take her to

another town to ask around.

but what can an eight year old do?

one year passed. then two. then four and she went through puberty without anyone to rely on. she learned about periods eavesdropping on local schools and reading in the library. she taught herself everything, ranging from how to read to how to bake to how to survive in the world.

by sixteen, she had given up on all hopes of finding him. she had accepted that he just left her.

"--ka? ryouka?"

a hand waving in front of her face caught her out of her trance. shaking her head, she cleared her throat and faced the winged boy. "oh, sorry. what is it jisung?"

"um, nothing, i just noticed you were

daydreaming." he told, looking down at her plate. "food for thought?"

she chuckled, wiping her forehead a bit. "it's nothing really, i uh," she began, "i used to have a brother of my own too, you know?"

his eyes widened a bit. "oh, really?"

"yeah, when i was younger, he was all i could remember." she smiled sadly, trailing off. "he disappeared when i was still a kid, so i don't remember much, but yeah."

"don't you have any intentions on finding him?"

ryouka chuckled almost bitterly and shook her head. "not anymore. i gave up years ago." she told, poking her rice boredly.

a small silence took over when it was cut off by jisung clearing his throat. "..but you were a child."

she glanced up at him, a bit taken aback when

met with his blank gaze, glazed with a bit of pity and wonder.

"you were a child years ago. now you're grown up, undoubtedly more mature and rational." he spoke in an unusually more curt tone than before. "don't you miss him?"

ryouka froze, flinching at the question that genuinely made her wonder. she had buried that dream years ago, the dream of someday reuniting with her older brother whose face was nothing more than a blur in her mind, the dream of crying in his arms at their loss and departure. she had buried it, so why was she so touched by jisung's words?

as if realizing what he blurted out, jisung widened his eyes and flushed his cheeks. "i-i'm so sorry! it's not any of my business to say." he apologized profusely.

she forced a smile and nodded. "it's okay." she spoke, clearing her throat and intending on

switching the topic. "so, um, you got any leads on where to start on your search?"

jisung coughed. "i heard someone mentioning a rumor of a monster at, uh, ambrosia i think. so that's a start, i guess. i might have to buy a map though." he doubtfully mentioned. "other than that, none."

although it was a passing word, ryouka couldn't help but hold shock over how nonchalant jisung was at mentioning the word 'monster'. his brother, was he like him? how many times has he and his brothers heard that word for him to get used to it? does he know the negative meaning behind the word?

it was hard for her to imagine, but with the apparent and visible mutation on his back, he must hear that mention often. she couldn't help but feel slightly relieved that she didn't report him, that she was able to see the awkward natured man behind the winged angel first.

"oh, uh, that's great." she immediately reddened. "i mean! that you have somewhere to start."

he chuckled in amusement. "yeah, i guess."

"i mean, if i'm being honest, it's great that you have a general purpose as opposed to just surviving or whatever." she blurted out, starting to drift off into absentmindedness. "it gets boring working my ass off to just live, you know? sucks to not have a purpose or anything."

jisung glanced at her in slight wonder, rotating his head just a bit. "how long have you been working here anyway?"

the two continued on eating as they followed the wave of chatter and occasional laughter.

after they were done with their dinner, the two cleaned up-- ryouka had wanted to do it alone, but the boy kept insisting as a last act of gratefulness. and soon, the two found themselves in front of ryouka's window. it was

already dark outside, so it should be safer for jisung to roam around the village.

"i guess this is it." ryouka awkwardly grinned, playing with her hair.

he flashed the same smile at her. "yeah.." he trailed off.

"um, bye." she said in almost a hurry, feeling the awkward tension arise once more.

jisung smiled. "bye." he bid before preparing to jump down from the window. turning around, he called her once more. "ryouka!"

she faced him, eyes curious.

"thank you." he gave a genuine smile of thankfulness before he jumped down.

as she looked out the window, she found that the boy was already rushing out from the alleyway. she sighed and looked at her hand,

where she was holding a small bottle of liquid. "i forgot to pack him the medicine." she pouted to herself.

looking up at the crescent moon, ryouka sighed to herself and let herself dive into her thoughts.

"don't you miss him?"

".. i do."