There she was as radiant as ever, smiling brightly, nose scrunched up, eyes bright with a look of content and adoration upon her face, but it wasn't towards me, it'd be a scandle for her to love me in this era.
"Good evening, my lady."
I was snapped out of the trance that was 'Her' and turned to face the gentleman that had spoken. I had no time nor intention to acknowledge the way he looked, for she still plagued my mind. There was never a time when she didn't reside in my thoughts, whether awake or not; she consumed me entirely, mind, body, and soul.
"Good evening." I replied, forcing a smile.
The gentleman and I formed a small polite conversation, albeit he did more speaking than I did. He spoke of his family's title, his inherentence, and his ideal wife. I merely nodded, wanting nothing more than to gaze into her eyes, they shone like an imploding super nova, so dangerous they'd have you weak in the knees the second she looks into yours, so mesmerizing they put the night sky to shame.
I watched as she made her way towards the dance floor with her beloved fiancée.
As I watched them dance, I felt a familiar pang in my chest, I doubt whether there's a word for this icky and disappointing feeling, most likely envy.
They moved ever so gracefully, gliding around the ballroom. I couldn't help but wonder if I had somehow replaced him, would she love me the way she loved him. Maybe if I were a man, things would be different.
When they finished dancing, he kissed her hand and left. Then, almost as if feeling my gaze, those green eyes met mine, and I felt utterly defenseless. She made her way over to me with a smile upon her face but before she could speak I heard the voice of the gentleman from earlier, in all honesty I forgot he was here, I turned to him biding him a good rest of the night before walking towards her.
When I approached her, she hugged me, and I swear it lasted far longer than it should've, but I didn't mind one bit.
"Why is it that at every ball, you look glum?" She asked. Not once did her eyes leave mine. They reminded me of the forest that we would go to, full of life; from the whistling of the wind, to the shade of the trees, we would lay upon a blanket and while she would admire the sky I would admire her. Her eyes bore into my soul with so much curiosity that only then I realized she was awaiting my answer.
"Conversing with others is far to tiring." I replied, but I just couldn't bear the sight of her and him together.
"Well then, let's leave; you can stay the night. I'm sure Mama won't mind."
It wasn't odd for me to spend a night or two at her house. Her mama treated like one of her own.
She pressed on trying to convince me to agree, not like I'd need any convincing anyway, I'd walk to the edge of the earth if she asked me to, no questions asked.
"Please say yes, you know Mama thinks of you like a second daughter. We're practically sisters."
Looking at me with hopeful eyes and a pout on her lips, I had to agree, anyone would've.
She looked as though she wanted to say something, but before I could ask, she took me by my hand and led me out of the ballroom. Not once did she slow down or glance back at me. When we finally did stop, it was in a secluded garden of sorts.
"I thought we could sit and talk like we used to before...."
I knew she meant before she met him, before he would occupy her time. Instead of answering, I walked to a corner and sat on the ground, not caring about the dress. She did the same, and we spoke of nonsense until we decided to just sit in silence and enjoy each other's company.
I don't know what it was but she looked far more beautiful than I'd ever seen her, maybe it was the way the moon shone upon her face, or maybe it was how at ease she looked, but whatever it was it made me want her more, I realized just how much trouble I was in.
Although I've secretly been with other women before, none gets me like she does; her simple innocent touches and glances make me fall for her more.
When I came back to my senses, I realized she was staring at me with a look I couldn't quite decipher. Her hands reached up, and she traced my face with her index finger; from the scar right under my left eyebrow, across my cheeks, down to my chin where she pulled my face just a bit closer to hers.
"Why must you do this to me?" She asked in such a low tone that I simply wished she would keep talking. I, however, did not know what she meant. If anything, I'm the one who should be asking her this.
As she stared into my eyes, I wanted to look away, but when I tried, she gripped my chin harder and made me look at her. Everything in me wanted to kiss her, and though her lips did look inviting, I held myself back. I wanted to say something, anything but I couldn't. She leaned forward, our lips not quite touching. It was as though she was waiting for me to kiss her, and just as I was about to he just had to show up.
He looked at us curiously, but before he could make any assumptions I got up and offer her my hand with an easy smile on my face, she place her hands in mine and as I helped her up, I noticed how quick he was to her side.
We had to leave, and only then did I realize just how uncomfortable the carriage ride would be.
