Behind closed doors

Chapter VI: Wake Up Amy

I found myself wandering through the corridors of my high school. The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead, casting shadows that stretched like memories down the empty halls. I moved with a sense of purpose, each step echoing against the linoleum floors.

As I turned the corner, the scene shifted, I was suddenly on the stage of the auditorium. Laughter and chatter surrounded me, I felt isolated, all the ruckus was focused on me. I scanned the room, and I saw Wendy handing out flyers to every student. One of the flyers flew towards me, when I read it I found out what all the laughter was about. It was me, the flyers had my biggest secret written in bold letters.

The flyers announced to everyone that I am a "dirty faggot."

Wendy walked towards me, giving me an evil grin. "This is what people who abandon those that need them most deserve... Do you understand why I did what I did?" she questioned, pulling out a knife. "You left me... you even had the gall to leave me that letter..." she snapped, as she started waving the knife around. "So I decided to retaliate with my own form of paper-based ammunition." she hissed, walking away. "Wake up Amy. You can't always win." she proclaimed as her voice grew softer and softer.

I felt alone, a ghost of my former self. I searched a sea of faces, my heart pounding, until I found Jane. Jane was there, her eyes full of warmth and understanding. I went to hug Jane, and she hugged me back. I cherished the embrace until I felt a sharp object placed against my back. "Amy wake up, this isn't going to work, I don't like girls, I don't like you." Jane whispered in my ear, before I could react, the blade pierced my skin.

It was Wendy's knife...
 
I couldn't feel it enter, but the blood flowing from the wound created a wet feeling under my shirt. I fell to my knees, utterly shocked by what Jane did to me.

With every breath I took, I coughed up a pint of blood.

Every time I blinked, blood leaked out, as though I was crying. Every tear felt like it was coming from my heart, literally.

Every movement I attempted was stopped by a sudden paralysis. All I could feel was the wet and cold sensation as the blood continued to leak.

The entire auditorium surrounded me and burst out into laughter. Everyone's attention then shifted away from me, as Wendy walked up to the podium.

"Good morning, everybody. Today we're going to read something Amy wrote for me. When she attempted to abandon me, she gave me this pathetic excuse for a letter. Let's read it shall we." Wendy announced, her voice dripping with contempt.

"You had no right to do what you've done, and yet I'm the villain...Your only reasoning is you're over-inflated ego. If you think so highly of yourself, that's wonderful, my dear, but to degrade me like a rabid dog you found on the street is inhumane. You spill my secrets like a glass of wine, telling people embarrassing details of my life to uplift yourself. I may forgive you for your verbal attacks and how you tore the definition of who I am to shreds, but I will never forget how little you think of me. I want nothing to do with you anymore; you lost me." Wendy read, trying to mock my voice

"It's like this fucking dyke thinks she has anyone else she could go to besides me, wake up Amy, I never thought you were this incompetent." she laughed, as she walked over to me, she pulled me up by my hair and continued speaking. "You fucking need me to function, you're too much of a scatter brain to even comprehend the simplest of tasks. That's why you need me Amy, because a pathetic dyke like you needs guidance." she said in a soft tone. "If you can't even choose the right gender to be attracted to, then how are you going to survive without someone competent telling you what to do." she chuckled, as she threw my back to the ground.

I felt her foot placed against my head, as if she was ready to stomp on me like a bug. She bent over and pulled the knife out of my back.

"If somebody is going to stab you, I want it to be me. I want you to wake up, Amy. I want you to feel the pain of abandonment you made me feel when you handed me that letter. I want to fucking kill you." she exclaimed as she turned me over. She held the knife against my throat, dragging it back and forth, leaving shallow cuts on my skin. She placed the tip on my throat and pushed it through.

I woke up abruptly, gasping for air. Immediately touching my throat to assure to myself that it was just a nightmare. I found myself in Jane's bedroom, with no prior recollection of how I ended up there. I was bathed in sweat, my heart pounding.

Unable to shake off the fear, I woke up Jane. Jane woke up and looked at me concerned. "Ames are you okay, you're trembling and crying." she asked, wiping my tears away. "No no. Am I crying blood again. I had a bed nightmare, please protect me." I sobbed.

"Oh no, sweetheart. Come here, let me make you feel safe." she said, gesturing for me to enter her embrace. She held me, and I placed my head on her chest. "It's okay, Amy. You're safe with me. It was just a nightmare, none of it was real. I'm here for you, always ,sweetheart. You're not alone, I promise. Let's just breathe together, okay. In and out. In and out. I've got you sweetheart." she comforted me, petting my head.

She made me feel so small, I liked that.