Carl Wheezer X Abraham Lincoln (tragic ending)

Very Love Story

Carl has just recently finished his time machine that was very carefully made with lots of tech, blood, tears, and about 40 home depots worth of duct tape.

"Finally, I finished it! My extremely shitty time machine! Now I can prevent the invention of the cheese grater!" Carl said ecstatically.

As he pushed the button conveniently labeled "Kachow", the time machine fired up with a very calm and soothing RINGDINGDINGIDNGVRRRRRRRRRR crash WERRRRGEGERGEGERGEGERG WEWOOARG Sounds of a machine in agony BRWOOARG, the portal opened.

He then grabbed his Pack-a-punched raygun, and jumped in. Unfortunately, he set the time to whenever-the-hell-abraham-lincoln was president. So he landed in the middle of the white house, where he laid eyes on the love of his life: Abraham Lincoln.

He stood up, and looked Mr. President dead in the eyes, and asked him a very important question: "Is this the era where the goddamn cheese grater was invented?". Abraham Lincoln replied "What the actual hell is a cheese grater?".

That's when Carl's heart was absolutely fluttering. "I'll check behind my desk", Abraham Lincoln turned around, and bent over, checking to see if there were any cheese graters in the white house. Carl couldn't help it, Abraham Lincoln was to dummy thicc, so Carl took a deep breath, and yelled at the top of his lungs; "GYAAAAAAAAAAT!". Abraham Lincoln turned around, looked him dead in the eyes, and asked him "what the hell is a gyat? Are you stupid or something?".

Carl's face was redder than a red bucket of paint that is full of red paint and was definitely not covered in tomatoes that have recently been pulverized.

"I...Uh...I uh...." Carl was trying to say something but he couldn't. Suddenly, the door quite literally flew off its hinges, and broke a large-ish hole in the wall. Both Carl and Abraham Lincoln looked in the door, and in the doorway stood

"I'm here to steal yo mans, Carl Wheezer!" He said right before he pounced onto Carl Wheezer, engaging in the first ever WWE Smackdown.

As they were wrestling, Abraham Lincoln was texting Adolf Hitler on his Xbox 360 about the current stock prices, because the stock named "myass" was worth an all time high of $0.03.

Carl was putting his discount karate skills to great use, having mastered the art of whipping disappointments with the leather belt. However, Dr. Zomboss would have been far more prepared, having brought along a Franchi SPAS-12. If only he had remembered to bring the ammo, would he have pulled the most beautiful bitch out there, that being Abraham Lincoln.

Carl whipped the ever living shit out of Dr. Zomboss, before feeding him to Hellen Keller, devourer of midgets and New mascot of Geico, helping you save %10 on your car insurance. As Carl held Abraham Lincoln close, he told him "Abraham Lincoln, I love you". Abraham Lincoln then replied "I'm not gay but ok".

Later during the wedding ceremony, Abraham Lincoln made the most heartfelt speech: "My asshole itches when I shake my gyat.". As Carl held Abraham Lincoln as they returned through the time portal, Jimmy Neutron was looking at him with utmost surprise.

He was gonna say how jealous he was if he didn't get a "Brain Blast" (Carl blew his head up with a shotgun) because he looked at him funny.

So they lived happily ever after until the divorce about 3 days later because Carl discovered that Abraham Lincoln was cheating on him with Scooby Doo, because Scooby's Scooby dussy was too damn good, and let's just say that they both are dead now. THE END