Italia

Loneliness in the midst of hurt, creates a void that is so hard to fill. I can assure that no amount of encouragement, no amount of...

'Get well soon...'

Or

'Everything will make sense soon, it's all apart of life...' will ever get me out of this permanent fix of a dark dungeon that life has ruthlessly forced me into.

I know what it is to hurt.

To hurt so much, that the tears stained on the skin of my cheeks and left a stiff residue.

I've waited six months. Six months to see if guilt would kiss the conscience of the man who accused me of the murder against my child.

I've spent the last six months, holding unto the cold steel bars, my hands gripping the rod which has nothing but coldness and rust.

My nose skimming just against the edge, my watch clear as day in day out, the prison guards unlocked cells and directed inmates to their family members.

A pity I had, it was only natural, my presence attentive as I awaited for some one, anyone to visit me. To reassure me that they believed that I didn't do it, yet, none came.

None business to care about a federal agent who used to fight for what is right and this taught me a huge lesson.

No one was meant to journey through this life with me, I am, my own defense, my own protector.

I've learnt it the hard way as days shifted to nights and weeks into months, the low quality pre-cast concrete walls surrounding my frame with a small window hanging just above the steel stained toilet that was stained and mold with piss.

This was just beside of the steel bedstead that holds my mattress. Coldness and the stench of piss became my homie, no sheets to wrapped around my body at night as goosebumps stricken me sore along with the chill of breeze from the atmosphere.

And here is when I adapt to the loneliness, I made it my friend. It was a harsh truth that took a few months for me to accept but then again...

What could I do?

I had to come to the acknowledgement that I was alone to take this journey.

And just like any sane person who strive for freedom, I made it my life mission to rely on defense, creating a plan that would get me out of this forsaken place so that I could repay my enemy back with a ten fold fuck up.

Throwing my head backwards, I laugh loudly with my knees bent towards the ground, I sluggishly applied all of my weight so that the two guards who were on either side of me could hold underneath my arms to hold me up and dragged me towards the place that I wanted to go.

The man in power.

"It's about time, I told y'all that, that black bitch was on drugs but'ch y'all didn't want to listen."

I ignored the mockery of the inmates who were in their cells, their watched steady on me as the two bulky guards, gripped my arms and dragged me on the ground through the corridor of the prison.

"Get up Italia!"

I bring my back leg over the other, my knee scrubbing on the ground as they dragged me forward. I dropped my head down then turned it to the side as I stared up at the guard, my eyes were droopy as I slowed my words towards him.

"How do you get up? show me..." He quirk a brow up at my question and I couldn't help but laugh as I throw my head back, I bit my bottom lip at his blurred facial expression, my eyebrows connecting together as he sighed.

"Aww don't be sad, am I that complex, I promise I'm not always like this..." I frowned as I then stared down at the ground interestingly, the floors of the corridor was so clean that I could literally see the structure of my face.

I was such a mess that I blow air up into my cheeks which puff them out, a snicker forced it's way out until it turned into a full blown laugh.

"Crazy bitch." He muttered.

They brought me right before a flight of stairs that went up to the second level where the warden office was and I sharply breathed in, drew out a snicker then continued laughing again.

I tapped my lips as I circled my hip to the left then circled it to the right, the tune set into my mind as I danced towards the song and almost as if they were tired of my antics, both guards, toss me towards the ground.

My knees connected to the ground harshly, it initiated a pain throughout my body which had me slapping both of my hands to the surface to settled my frame before I fell down, face front.

"How are we even going to get her up those damn steps." The guard asked to the one who circled around my frame and stopped before me.

I eyed his boots which was polished and lack dirt, It was before my face and I blinked my eyes as his deep voice, let out above me which had me drawing myself back from the frustration it held.

"Go around her back." He instructed.

Humming, I shift my head from side to side then began singing.

"Around the walls of Jericho, around the walls of Jericho..."

"Hold both of her arms and I'll take her up by lifting her legs, hopefully she doesn't kick me or some shit."

"Around the walls of Jericho the army went."

The guard went behind me and held me up underneath my arms, I blinked my eyelids up at him, watching as annoyance, gripped him sore.

"Seven times without a shout, seven times without a shout..."

"Seven times without a shout, The army WENT." I laughed as he blew out a breath then quirked up an eyebrow at the brute before me who gripped both of my legs and lifted me from the ground.

"Can't you tell her stop?"

"She's fucking high, do you think that'll work?"

"My pay ain't good for this kind of stress man."

"So into Jericho at last, into Jericho at last..."

"Italia..."

"Into Jericho at last the army went."

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Sir yes sir."

I laughed as they climbed up the stairs and took me down the corridor towards the last door on the hall. Knocking on the surface, the door snapped open immediately and without much further thought, both men, swayed my body from side to side and then toss me harshly down towards the ground of the now cold temperature room.

"What happened to her this time?"

Laying on my side, I snickered as my cheeks pressed flat on the cold tiles, I stretched a hand out and knock my knuckles on the thin rectangular white slab of tiles.

"Knock, knock, knockity, knock..." I sang while they discussed about my issued and with a harsh sigh, the warden ushered both men out and from the corner of my eyes, while I so busily, struck my knuckles on the tiles, I watched him bring both legs of his pants foot up a bit then lowered his frame down over me.

"Italia, I need you to snap out of this. I know you know the rules of the prison. You know of morality. Smoking is prohibited and as you being a former federal agent, I am so disappointed in you. Now tell me..."

He gripped my chin and turned my head around so that I could looked up into his dark brown irises which were cold like ice.

He held up a small clear bag which had weed in the container, I stretched my hand up to gripped it but he narrowed his eyes and brought it higher so that I would not get in contact with it.

"How did this get into your lock up?"