Us Against the World... War 1

Chapter 5: Home

William Schofield's POV.

I regretted it the second it left my mouth.

I don't even know why I said it. I didn't mean it...did I? That doesn't matter because nothing can change the fact that I had snapped at Blake. My chest tightens at the idea. I pretend it's only from the dust I inhaled.

The silence sits heavy in the air. It's overpowering. I find myself unable to keep my gaze from Blake. I look at him from the corner of my eye, still not capable of moving.

Blake's sitting there, his complexion paler than usual from the white dust that has collected on his skin, his lips parted in surprise. Emotions cycle through his eyes, shock, guilt, sadness, betrayal, anger. His eyebrows, which were raised, slowly begin to furrow. He draws his lips into a tight line to prevent them from quivering. I watch him fight to not spill tears.

This scene twists the knife in my heart. The fact I had made him this upset makes me physically ill.

"What?"

He's trying to sound strong, I can tell.

I want to back track but I'm a bloody fool, so I don't.

"Why in god's name did you have to choose me?"

My voice cuts through the tense air.

"Alright then, go back. Nothing's stopping you. You can go all the way bloody home if you want."

Home: the word stings; it reminds me of things I want to forget. But I know I can't, so with trembling hands, I retrieve my small tobacco tin from my pocket and stare at the pictures inside of two young girls and a beautiful woman. My sister and my nieces. The memory hurts and I snap the tin close and pack it away.

"Don't."

Blake looks away, his eyes trained on the ground.

"Look, I didn't know what I was picking you for." He starts and I want to grab his face and kiss the apology off of his tongue because no way in hell Tom Blake is this fucking perfect. Apologizing, even though I was most definitely in the wrong here. I swat away the sinful thoughts that plague my mind and focus back on his soft words.

"I thought they were going to send us back up the line, or for food or something. I thought it was going to be something easy, alright? I never thought it would be this."

I feel some of the tension in my body melt away as he speaks. His voice seems to get softer with each word.

"So do you want to go back?"

Sometimes I wonder if Blake thinks before he speaks.

He's giving me the opportunity to leave him.

Leave him there in a German trench.

Leave him alone as he walks for hours with no stopping

Leave him with the responsibility of 1600 men's lives including his own brother.

I stare up at him praying he's mocking me.

I search his face for any hint of contempt or dishonesty.

Nothing.

His face is disappointed but earnest.

I sigh and rub my hand down my face. I look back up at him.

"Just fire the fucking flare."

Blake stands up and loads the gun. He fires it off into the sky.

We watch as fire and smoke explode upward into the limitless sky. He tosses the gun to the ground and mutters something under his breath but my head is too fuzzy to hear it.