Philinda: you're the only love I've ever known

Part 1

Her lungs filled with something other than air and it weighed them down, she couldn't breathe. Gasping again and again nothing would come in and take the place of this dreaded substance, her palms became dotted with sweat and her chest grew heavier by the second. The one sentence this women in front of her had just said rang in her ears, filling her head and threatening to bust out. It pounded against her mind and took up any space she had left, drawing her closer to breaking down. "Melinda" Agent Maria Hill said. "Like I said this is real, I wish this was some top secret protocol, God do I wish but i would be telling you if it was" she whispered almost on the verge of tears herself. "It's difficult I know, we are all struggling but he went down a hero. Like the Phil Coulson we all knew" she said but Melinda wasn't comprehending a word. 'Phils gone... Battle of New York...Loki..' What did it all mean? He couldn't have been gone, this was the man she spent almost every waking moment with. "Melinda?" Maria asked noticing how the completely silent women wasn't showing any expression or showing any sign that she had heard what she said. Melinda jerked awake from her slow daze. "Yeah. Sorry Agent Hill. Thank you for telling me" she said and Maria was taken back out how okay She was. "Of course. And if you need anything just tell me. Some time off or-" "No I'm fine, thank you really but I should get going" she said leaving the other women behind.

Melinda folded her fingers into her palm and walked quickly down the hallway that seemed to go on forever. She started at a jog as she ran from the debriefing room, Away from those dreaded words, away from the pain and the beginning of a life without Phil Coulson. She immediately ran into the restrooms knowing she couldn't have made it any farther. She busted into a stall and her knees finally gave out and the ball in her throat seem to explode in a cry and a flow of tears. She fell to the tile floor, her dark hair covered her face. Sobs came in and out as she sucked in breath after breath but couldn't seem to get anything in. Phil Coulson was gone and she wouldn't see his smiling face every morning, her only rock in this world wouldn't be there anymore. She divorced her husband because of this constant pain she always felt and so desperately needed relief from and she had found it, whenever she was around Phil it raised up from her chest and she could breath but not now. This pain she felt as she sunk into the bathroom floor, it was real and ten times worse than anything she had felt before. But now, the one man that could ease it, was gone. The only way she knew this pain could stop was if Phil walked through that door at that moment but that could never happen. She leaned against the wall in a mess of tears and heavy breathing, clutching her head she sobbed, sucking in air she had to continuously stop herself from screaming her lungs out.

"Please Phil, come back to Me" she whispered ever so softly but her words were cut off like a sharp knife by the piercing silence around her. "Come back to me" she begged but she knew the space around her was only occupied by the cold air and not Phil Coulson.