Minho's Muse- Lee Min Ho

C11."Oh... Minho ssi you're in for some real fun."

MATURE CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER!Miranda's POVI stared at Minho in shock... "You can't be serious?"

 I asked him as my jaw hung in disbelief. He grabbed my hand in his drawing small circles on my palm; soothingly. "I said I want to marry you."

I quickly removed my hand out of his and got up. "No-I-I mean... Don't you think were rushing this. I mean I just turned 22 and your 24 already... I don't even have a stable job yet, I don't even know when my father wants to hand me the c-company!"

I bellowed pacing back and forth in the living room."It doesn't matter. None of that matters baby..." Minho retorted trying to calm me down. "It doesn't matter?!" I yelled exasperatedly. "It does matter Minho. This is the future were talking about, this isn't something we can just breeze IT over."

 "get it. Fine, you're not ready for that type of commitment yet and I'll you be. But did you think that we were going to be dating forever?

Minho questioned walking away.I sat down on the couch, dizzy from the over-thinking that I always did. It wasn't that i didn't want to marry him. It's the facts that what if were not cut – out of the marriage life? Actually what if I wasn't cut –out of the marriage life scared me the most. And after marriage; Children is expected. Like a sign. Or shows that you both were in love physically, emotionally, basically all aspects.

I know I love Minho. I definitely do, it's the thought of me failing as a wife, a mother and friend scares me to death. I didn't want to end up like my parents from jump, they rushed into marriage and it ended up being a fail for the first 5 years. Children came into the picture and they're marriage or should I say love life crumbled into pieces.

"Looks like someone's in deep thought."

Shin Yoon (LMH'S sister) spoke breaking me from the detailed conversation with myself. I looked up and forced a smile.

"Yeah, just thinking about some stuff." I replied grabbing the hot steamy cup of coffee she handed out to me.

"Scoot over."

I moved my body to create some space for her. She wiped her hand on her skirt; flipped her hair over her shoulder and turned to me.

"What's up? You can talk me" I looked at my mug suddenly finding interest in the intricate designs.

"Miranda, Don't dodge this."

She snapped putting my mug down on the coffee table. I sighed as I felt all my walls crumble. "Minho asked me t-to marry him." I whispered softly. "Chincha?" She beamed clapping her hands to together in excitement. Immediately when she remembered my dilemma she stopped

"Why aren't happy?" she questioned as her chocolate eyes swirled with concern."I think I am. Somewhat.""You don't what to marry him or are you just scared?" she accused knitting her brows in confusion. "I'm scared Shin Yoon-ssi. What if I'm not good wife or possibly a good mother?

I don't want to end up like my parents who failed the first 5 years together. I'm not saying my mother isn't a good mother it's just that she wasn't really there for me. Majority of my life all they did was send money, gifts, and cars; thinking all I needed for something to favorite and cling on. When what I really needed was a family. A place to call home, I don't—actually I refuse to be that kind of mother. But what if I fail and I don't know how to create or control a home?"

Shin Yoon took my hand and squeezed lovingly, "You'll be a great wife and an awesome mother I know that Miranda. No matter how much you doubt yourself I believe in you. And I know Minho does too. Remember back during Christmas last year when the whole family came to together and there were tons of children.