You.

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Yeah, i kinda figured she would run right back to you. i expected it. do you realize just how much i see? how much i know of and know? i didn't just randomly decide i wanted my shit back. it was our agreement, always has been, and you and i were talking about it before i got caught and beaten bloody because we were talking again. blood which to this day continues to hurt me. Our memories are the reason i still want to be around you, i still want to know you, and frankly why i hate you. not fully of course, because who can hate the person they truly loved. i am not scared, i am not afraid to face you, i will see you again one day and you will see just how much i no longer care. I am unable to hand our stuff back in person because if my parents catch me again i will lose more than just my heart, my everything. I know i fucked up but what i didn't do is keep it secret. ask and beg my partner for concessions and changes to our arrangement, i didn't go behind my partners back, to ask people my partner cheated on me with if they still were with them. you honestly believe after 10 months every Single word that comes out of cereals mouth and while you can deny it all you want, you admitted to it in some of your recent posts. I am with nobody. i havent been with anyone but you in so long, and i just recently got back someone i thought i lost because of you. someone that has talked me out of stupid shit like you used to. but you know what i can no longer have? Trust in you, in your lies. in your words and in your friends, i will give back everything that is yours down to the stuffed animals to the bracelets, as we agreed. but one thing i cannot do, is see you until i am 18. i wish i could. i want to. i wish i could see you. but that hope was taken from me when YOU decided to ask your friend to go with you to the store because you KNEW i was waiting for you to get there, you KNEW how much it would mean before i left to go to my grandmothers. you knew, and you still continued to play the games, pretend like everything was okay, but the entire time you were doing the exact. same. thing. that i did over a year ago. you look at me and you cant say one nice thing and yet i still fight for you. i still want to hold you and tell you its okay. that is love. you never loved me, that is now apparent. all you wanted was a dick who knew how to satisfy your desires and you dropped me the second i no longer could. and honestly? i wish i could say fuck you, but i cant. i still hope theres something in you that atleast sees what your doing and how your acting, which is the exact way you hated me for acting in the past.

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