What I never told you
… Have you ever felt like dying because of a sentence?
That's how Sun felt when Ongsa said 'let's finish', with a neutral expression, as if he was talking about general matters, ordinary things. It was enough to make Sun feel like the sky was falling before her. Sun mustered all her strength to pull away, but the pain followed her.
“Sun, are you okay?” Deer asks worriedly. When Sun came to them in tears yesterday, it took her a while to calm her down and get an explanation. Since then, they haven't seen Sun smile even once.
“I wonder why she did that. Why does she care so much about others? It’s like she cares about everyone in the world except me.” Sun vents.
“I don’t want to rub salt in the wound. But I asked if you were sure you wanted to date her. You are two girls. It's hard to be in a relationship. I think Ongsa couldn’t handle the pressure any longer.” Vee says.
Again, Sun is reminded that 'they're both girls.'
“Just because we’re two girls doesn’t mean it’s love?” Sun says it like she wants to blame the world, not asking her friends.
“Love is love, but you need to understand that your love is not accepted by everyone. And sometimes, love is not enough.” Kongkwan highlights. To be honest, deep down, Kongkwan understands Ongsa's actions. Being in a relationship under the eyes and disapproval of other people is not an ideal situation, especially for an isolated person like Ongsa. We deal with pressure in different ways. If she were Ongsa, she wouldn't even have the courage to date Sun.
Sometimes Sun feels like a complete idiot. If she hadn't been trying to reconnect with Ongsa that day and let her disappear as she wanted, she wouldn't be hurt like this now. Sun is left alone again with lots of questions. The cruel person left her in unexplainable pain.
Didn't you promise you wouldn't disappear again? Why did you break your promise?
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Sun said Ongsa never tried to keep their love. Ongsa indeed failed, but that doesn't mean she didn't 'try'.
A week ago, after Ongsa's mother found out that she was dating a girl and told her to break up with Sun, she didn't have the courage to do it. Ongsa couldn't imagine her life without Sun by her side. Her life was miserable enough up until now, keeping her distance from Sun for fear of being caught by her mother. Ongsa never wanted to break up with Sun. Not really.
“Did you break up with that girl, Ongsa?” Her mother greeted her like that for three days in a row instead of saying 'Hello'. Ongsa hadn't broken up with Sun. No. She can't do that, to be exact. She couldn't force herself to that point. Ongsa thought her mother would forget, like her other mistakes, if she didn't mention it and act normally.
But no… Ongsa was wrong.
"I…"
“It’s not over, right? Will I need to deal with this myself?”
"No mother."
“You never acted like this Ongsa. Don’t you listen to what I say anymore?”
“That’s not it, mom. I… I love her.” Ongsa decided to say.
“Ongsa, listen to me. You think it's love because you're still young. You don't know what love really is. When you grow up and mature, you will learn that love is more complicated. Having feelings for someone is not enough to stay together forever, Ongsa. You and this girl are not the only people in this world. There are so many things you will experience and encounter. There are so many people waiting for you. I don’t want your teenage mistake to ruin your future.”
