Between the Stars

Chapter Fifteen

The familiar scent of lavender incense wrapped around Sam as he stepped into the room. He still found it cloying, but it no longer threatened to choke him. The dim light was comforting after the bright sunlight and the cool room was a welcome relief compared to the hot day outside.

"Hi, Marlene," he said as he plunked down on the couch.

Marlene closed the door behind him and walked over to sit in her chair, her eyebrows raised.

"Hello to you, too," she replied. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm alright." He shrugged. "I had kind of a tough time last week. I had another catatonic episode."

She picked up her pen and paper. "You haven't had one of those since you've been here, right? Can you tell me about it?"

He nodded. "It was the same as the other ones I've had. I couldn't move. Couldn't talk. I just laid in bed and stared at the wall. Everything was blurry. It almost felt like I underwater, with all the sound muffled."

"Blurry?" Her pen swooped across the paper.

"I couldn't focus my eyes," he clarified.

"Were you able to try any of the coping mechanisms we discussed?"

He shrugged again. "Not really. It was hard to do when I was in the middle of it. I couldn't do anything."

"So you just had to wait it out like last time?"

He paused and bit his lip. "Actually, this time I managed to snap out of it."

Her pen paused its trail across the pad. "How?"

"It was Charlie." He thought about that day, when she'd come over. "We were supposed to meet up for lunch but I had to cancel because of what happened. She came over to make sure I was alright. She wasn't mad, only worried about me."

"As a friend should be," Marlene interjected.

Sam nodded. "My mind was telling me to make her leave. That I didn't want her to make me feel better. That I didn't want to get better."

"You mentioned that before." Marlene ruffled through her notepad. "Is that voice worse when you're in the catatonic state?"

"Yeah," he continued. "But this time, I realized I do want to get better. And that's what snapped me out of it."

Marlene's hands paused as she looked up in surprise before a smile spread across her face.

"That's a very brave thing to admit, Sam."

He crossed his arms to combat the awkwardness that knotted in his chest.

"Yeah, well. I was able to get some control back after that. Charlie and I talked for a little while. Or well, she talked. I still couldn't say much."

"About what?"

"Her mom, mostly." Sam's mouth twisted briefly. "She was like me, but worse. Charlie lost her when she was seven."

He paused as he thought it over some more.

"Do you think that's why she's so good at picking my thoughts apart? Because she's already been around someone like me?"

Marlene tilted her head. "Mm, I think it could be why she's a little more perceptive than most. But given how old she was at the time, I don't think that's the sole reason she can read you like a book."

"Makes sense." Sam nodded. "Either way, she has habit of making really good points."

"So you've said." Marlene set down her pen. "And how did you feel when you realized you wanted to get better?"