A Rossifying Romance

British Lovemaking

"R-running? I'm not running from anything you slithery slut."

"DONTTT LIEEE TOOO MEEEEE"
He hisses threateningly.

"Fine. I was running from that pale freak who jumped me in the kitchen. Happy?"
I snap at him.

"Perhapssss. Edward can be...freakyyyy."
Professor Snape pauses.
"But is it perhaps...sssomething more? You've been running, y/n. For a long time, far longer than just tonightttt. Who are you running from? Whatttt broughttt youuu hhhere?"

A single tear rolls down my cheek and I choke.
"...A lion."

"I sssee. And you seek shelter here with Mr. Gellerrrrr?"

I nod.

"You areeee lost. Or perhaps you areeee found."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Why cant you be normal?"

"Ssssorry. I cannot help it. I am emo-"
The snakey man is cut off when the door suddenly bursts open and Andrew Garfield rushes in with concern on his british face.

"SEVERUS!? BAYBEE??? ARE YOUE IN EERE MOIYE LUV??"
He pants, and then his orbs lock onto the greasy man slithering around in the laundry pile.

"Yesssss dearrrr. I was simplyyy-"

"GIT THE FOOK AWAYE FRUM MOIYE MAN, Y/N! YA FILTHY SLAAG!"
Andrew screeches and leaps into the laundry pile directly on top of Professor Snape, wrapping his arms protectively around him.

"S-s-sorry Andy, I wasn't t-t-trying to steal your weird creepy husband...."
I stutter with wide eyes.

It seems, though, that neither of them heard me, and the traumatising hissing sounds of the pair getting freaky underneath the pile of damp clothes begins to echo around the laundry room.
Andrew pokes his head out to look at me after a few moments.
"OI, Y/N! COULD YA MAYEBEE GIT THE FOOK OUT? OIM TROYING TA MOIKE SWEEYTE BRI ISH LUV TO MOIYE HOSBAND."

I gasp and quickly clamber out of the room, covering my ears and squeezing my eyes shut to shield myself from any further trauma.
I begin running down the hallway, but I'm suddenly stopped when I run directly into a firm squishy chest and my senses are bombarded with the stench of pure alpha energy.

"Y/n? I've been looking everywhere for you, you silly goose."

I blink and look up slowly, shuddering and trembling.

"R-r-r-r-r-ross???"

"Hello kitten."

{I cum on the spot}

TO BE CONTINUED.....