True Colours | UNEDITED VERSION

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INFINITY

I let the darkness consume me, negativity occupied my mind. I didn't imagine how would a certain change all of the beliefs I had for myself, and society. Just showing your colours could be a devastating decision that you could ever make. That your life could be messed up.

“Rence, do you think magugustuhan ako ng crush ko?” A friend of mine asked, in the middle of my daydream. Panira naman ng moment to. Ako dapat ang main character.

“Ewan ko, hindi rin naman ako na crushback.” Bagot kong sagot.

“Ang KJ mo naman. Humihingi lang ng opinyon, hindi man lang ako ginaslight.” Nagmamatol na anya at may kinuha sa kanyang desk.

“By the way, may pinabibigay pala si Kircheon sa 'yo, accla. May pa eme eme kapa kanina na di ka na crushback, eh parang patay na patay yon sa 'yo.” Daming satsat. Ano bang pake niya sa buhay namin ni Kircheon?

Kung totoo ngang boyfriend kami, pake niya?! Hindi naman niya buhay to, kainis.

Bakit ba wala ako sa gising.

Oo nga pala, tinulugan ako ng mokong na yon kagabi. Akala ko kasi mag bebetime pa kami. Ako naman si tanga, hinintay talaga.

The day went nicely without him by my side, but I felt incomplete.

I contacted him that night. I thought that he was busy, but when I saw a lot of the stories of his friends on their Instagram accounts. They were busy partying, music bangs in the background, and party lights were everywhere.

I spotted him.

He was dancing with an unfamiliar girl. He was smiling, but he was trying to dodge the girl. But his cousins never intervened.

I thought they knew.

Yes, they do. But they didn't bother to help him!

Tsk, that's why he couldn't even pick up my calls. Then so be it. Walang bebetime. Ayaw ko nang mag overthink dahil lang sa nangyari, hindi ko pa naman narinig ang side niya. But still...

It hurts.

“Baby...” He was persistent in calling me when he arrived at school, I was in the student lounge. He continued to poke me, but I ignored him. Pake ko sa kanya!

Buti nga at naalala mo pa na may pasok siya ngayon. Akala ko do'n na siya mag-aaral sa club. Mukhang masaya naman do'n eh.

“Hey... why are you upset?” Aba naman si Kuya. Parang hindi alam.

For sure, nasa gc na nila 'yon na nakita ko ang story sa isa sa mga friend niya. Lalo na ang mga bustamante cousins, masyadong hayok sa chismis. I know he already knew.

“It is because of Samantha?” He asked, cutely pouting. He leaned at me... closer and embraced me. Syempre hindi naman ako makatanggi, sino ba namang tatanggi kung ganito naman ka gwapo ang boyfriend mo?

Syempre rurupok ka talaga.

“Was that your puppy love interest when you were young?” Patanong kong sigaw sa kanya na ikinatawa niya ng mahina. Ramdam ko ang tawa niya kasi nakayakap nga ang gago sa 'kin.

“No... bakit mo pa naaalala? She just asked me about you. If I took good care of you. If nakita mo man yung video. I really, made a way to dodge her. Pero she was pushy. Kaya kinausap ko nalang kahit ayaw ko.” Mas along humigpit ang yakap niya sa 'kin. Para bang inaalo ako.

I didn't answer.

He sighed. “Please, don't be upset na. Promise hindi ko na siya kakausapin. If ever man na she would insist, dapat may appointment at kasama ka.”

Napatawa ako. Appointment pa ang gago, ano 'yan formal business meeting?

Ang dali ko talagang rumupok sa gago. Ganito ba naman ka clingy. Nevertheless, I am grateful to have a man like him. I know he would be the one — my first and my last.

He was the one who pushed me to show who I am. He was the reason that I have shown my true colours. Confidently enough, I could tell I would live my entire lifetime with him.