LOVE IN PARADOX

Prologue

I let a a heavy sighed as dropped my bag on my bed. I scanned the whole room, not even this place can occupy my mind. Is this really my temporary shelter? I asked my self silently.

A plain cloud blue with a little  touch of army green. I smirk with the color combination of this apartment.  Gotta see the landlord later, how could they chose these colors. This feels like I'm going to heavenly realm if I lay here all day.

The murmurs of my Tita and Tito is getting louder.

"Charlotte, okay kana  ba dito?" My Tita asked me, scanning the apartment.

I faced her "Okay na Tita, huling dalwang taon lang  din naman ako dito." I assured her with a small smile.

Nasagi  ng paningin  ko si Tito na buhat buhat and akong mga gamit papasok  sa apartment.

"Tito, sa sala  nalang iyang  mga gamit ko, ako na ang bahala diyan." I said as I walked  towards him. My Tita trailed me from behind.

The apartment has one room, one bathroom, small kitchen and a little living room. 

"Sana dika nalang  lumipat ng Unibersidad, Charlotte. Maayos  kana  man sa probinsya. Mababantayan  ka namin doon, dito kasi hindi  kami ." My sixty-two year old Tita said, her face is full of worry. It is evident. 

I am still not used to this side of her.

Is she concerned of me? Of my well-being or she will miss me back home? The thought of it makes me uncomfortable.

We are both cold and hates physical affection. She doesn't want to show any emotions especially  her weakest spot. I am her complete mirror. We have the same characteristics. She is not my mother, yet I am just like her. She is the oldest sister of my father, on the other hand my father is an extrovert.

A total opposite of us.

If I were to decide, I would never leave my hometown. Sino ang  gugustuhing iwan ang lugar na puro dagat at mga puno lang ang nakapaligid sayo. I like the people there, the ambiance, kahit tanghaling tapat  ay sobrang  sariwa padin ng hangin. Unlike here, umaga palang ang ingay ingay  na ng paligid. Kung lalabas ka, papasok  kang  amoy  usok  at puno ng alikabok  ang balat. 

"Hayaan mona at para  naman makakita din itong batang  to ng mga bagong  tao  at masanay  sa matataong  lugar." Sabi ni Tito sabay halik sa aking  buhok.

My Tita did not talked back. She just walk towards their black Isuzu car.

"Charlotte, siguraduhin  mong  lock ang pinto  kapag  lalabas ka at kapag gabi  na."

"Huwag kading  nag dadala  ng hindi mo gaanong  kilala  dito."

My Tito talks like she did not know me. Bakit  naman  ako  mag dadala  ng  tao  dito  e sa probinsya  nga isa lang  naging  kaibigan ko, nabuntis  pa  ng maaga. Though, I understand his sentiments. I have a figure that can tempt  men. My hour glass figure and fair skin is what most men desire. I mean being 5'7 is not bad, woman at my age is shorter than me. Not to mention my facial features. I could pass into modeling if I want to.

Camera- I hate camera.

My Tito keeps on giving his words of reminders. I left him in the apartment and went outside.

"What are you looking there, Tita?" I asked, she seems looking for something inside their car. Pabalik  balik niyang  sinuyod ng tingin  bawat  upuan  ng sasakyan.

She went to the driver seat and lift up something. Her eyes lit up when she found  it.

"Sayu na ito, baka na iwan mona naman  ang iyo sa probinsya." I stared at the book she handed. A thick black book that  founded  my characters throughout the years.

Holy Bible- I read in my mind.

Growing in a religious family is a tough one. Though all our neighbors like us, lalo  na sa Tita at Tito ko. Kahit hindi  ng papakita  ng kahit  konting  ka sweetan  si Tita, halos  araw-araw naman siyang  tumutulong  sa mga kapitbahay  na nangangailangan.  Iyong  kaya  lang  naman ang tinutulungan.

Maybe because my Tita and Tito are public servant.  They are currently  working as a councilors in our province. 

A series of flashback starts playing in my head.

-wear this, throw that kind of clothes, Charlotte-

-sing for church next time or deliver a message-

-mukhang  hindi  mabuti ang asal  ng iyong  mga kaklassi. Sila ba ang ka groupo mo? Mag solo kanalang  kaya sa project-

I shook my head instantly.

Those belongs to the past is indeed gone and done.

What matters is that I am who I am now.

I am like, and adore with people that surrounds me. My characteristics is what matters. I am the real definition of   composed and well-mannered woman.

Calm

Virtuous

Morality

Dignity

Knowledge

Beauty

And dreams.

Pay attention to none.

I grip the sacred book in my hand as I repeat words I  my head.

Author's note
: this chapter is short. I'll make it longer next update.
:I do not own any of the photos in this story. Crdts to Pinterest