ALMA
She's gonna die, and I'd be the cause of it. The only thought that rang in my head as I held Linda's numb body in my hand and tried to urge her to wake up. The doctors stormed in with Beverly, approaching me as I administered first aid.
I'd never been more terrified of a person's madness than I was at this moment, and it dawned on me, as if I didn't know before, that I wasn't even the obstacle between Carl and me. It had been Linda, always had been her. My eyes were wet with tears when Carl held me up and tried to walk me out of the ward according to the doctor's command.
My outfit had a new decoration attached to it. Blood red, literally. So much of it that I wondered what Linda had left in her. My body vibrated like I would collapse at any time, and the only thing keeping me conscious was Carl's arms around me. Beverly's speaking echoed in my ears at a distance as if she wasn't standing next to me.
The shock was so difficult to process. I couldn't tell whether or not I was floating or if my legs now had minds of their own. Carl helped me into a chair, clasping his hands around my face as he shook me. I read my name off his lips but I didn't hear it.
The position of everything was slightly slanted and airy. People, and equipment, all split in twos and fours, like I took alcohol on an empty stomach. "Linda!" I mouthed. "Linda, she..."
I didn't even hear my own voice. It was as though the shock had only begun to settle in now, and it hit harder than I ever thought it would. My hands gripped my dress hard, and I wanted to rip it off. "Linda..."
"Snap out of it!" Carl's voice finally came bursting into my ears after he gave me one last nudge. I gasped out like I'd just been retrieved while drowning underwater. "You're okay, you're okay!"
Carl lulled, "You're fine." I could see the relief cloud his face as he pulled me into one of those hugs. The kind that made me melt into butter regardless of the situation. "You're fine, Alma. Everything is okay!"
Jeez.
I pulled away from him, reliving everything that had just happened once more. "You jerk!" I blurted out before I could even hold it back. Carl stepped back. I'd forgotten what the pain in his eyes did to me. My stomach burned a bit more, then my chest.
Then I felt the burn meticulously climb up my tongue. "I begged you! I asked you to! You could have prevented all of this if you'd just said it to her!" I hit his chest, and I cried.
I was crying again, like a fool. Someone was about to die because of a vain three-letter word. Why was Linda stressing me so much?! "You could have just said it to her, and this will be fine! Now s-she's in there, dying. She might be dead, Carl! You should have told her you loved her!"
"Alma, please, take a deep breath." Beverly sat next to me as she patted my shoulder. "She'll be fine."
"I couldn't."
"What are you even saying?!" I yelled at Carl again.
"If I had, it...would have been a lie. Alma, I do not want to-"
"Then is this your fucking first time lying!?"
Carl rubbed his forehead, swallowing hard as he looked at me. "I don't know what you're mad at. Are you sure it's me you're mad at? I fucked up with you, Alma, I know! I know it so damn well, I live and breathe it, but that doesn't make me a dishonest person! It doesn't!"
I couldn't help the torrent of tears that filled my eyes, and streamed down my cheeks. I even tasted it.
"Why should I tell her I love her when I don't? I'm trying so hard to be that honest man that you want, but you just don't see it, do you?"
My chest-
hurts.
"I'm not asking you to be anything for me!"
"Well, you don't have to ask! I want to be! Look, Linda is a crackhead, and you know it wouldn't have ended there! That was leverage, alright? If I'd lied at that moment, what happens? Tomorrow she takes a knife to her wrist and asks me to fuck her, to marry her again? To sign my company in her name!? Just fucking think about it, Alma! This would have happened either fucking way! It would have!!"
It had been a while since I saw Carl get this mad. He only cussed so much when his anger had gone out of bounds, and all that pent-up frustration had finally bubbled up to the surface.
Not to mention, he had a point. I was just so overwhelmed that I couldn't see the reason. And I meant what I said. I didn't want Carl to be anything for me. He was...great the way he was, but tell that to my heart that still nursed a few cracks from a man so great.
Neither of us said anything more, not even Beverly. The silence sat with us, spreading its wings so far apart and enshrouding us in it.
"Go home. Get some sleep. I'll take care of things here."
I looked at him, frowning. "I'm not leaving till she's fine."
Carl glared at me. "I wasn't asking Alma. I'm telling you, go home and get some rest. You've been through enough already, and Velma-"
"She's not your concern. And you do not bark orders at me. I'm staying. When I'm sure she's fine, I'll leave." I hugged my legs as I shuffled deeper into the seats. "Beverly, you should go home too."
"Why are you so obstinate?"
"Do you want to pick a seat or keep asking fruitless questions?" I quizzed. "I'll rather you zip it up if you plan on staying."
This was me hoping he'd stay.
Carl sighed. "I don't." Without taking his eyes off me, he took off his jacket and tossed it at me. "Suit yourself. It's cold here."
He didn't wait for me to reject it before he turned and headed out. My heart sank a little, and I contemplated flinging the jacket to the wall. But I didn't. He'd been through a lot, too.
"It's already too late, but you can make it home on time," I mentioned as I cocked my head in Beverly's direction. "Please, get some rest."
She scoffed, copying my sitting position. "I'm afraid I'm staying, dear Ms. Let's see what tomorrow brings our way."
*
Morning sure came with a load of headache and body pain. It felt like I'd spent years of my life as a slave cutting wood in the seventeenth century, but it would be utterly unfair to have been a slave, and then be born again to this unkind level of suffering. I wasn't woken by the hospital noise, rather it was a gentle tap on my shoulder.
I'd been having the most beautiful dream about Velma and me living the best life before the hand touched me and my eyes fluttered open. Hovering over me was Carl, a questioning look etched on his face. I possibly looked like an abomination from Lord of the Rings but then, someone was dying.
Someone was dying! I jumped to my feet and then slumped back into the chair. My legs were still asleep. Beverly squirmed beside me, too. I suppose Carl had just woken us up. And he was in new clothing, and didn't smell like sweat like I did.
As if that wasn't embarrassing enough, I sneezed out loud like a ram, it was hellishly cold in here- well, if hell was cold. Okay, today was not my day either. "Is she awake?" Was the first thing I asked Carl as I stretched.
"I should ask you that."
How do I tell him I didn't open my eyes at least once since yesterday, I slept like a little kid I barely woke up through the night. "So, go and check on her. She should...be fine by now."
I was desperate to be right. Linda had to be fine or that would wreck me. The only reason I asked Carl to check on her was because I was scared to do it myself and I found that I couldn't trust any of the doctors around here, but that was a matter to get back to at a later date.
Carl nodded and went in the direction of the ward and I followed with my wobbly feet, feeling the sound of my heartbeat fill my own ears. And when we go there.
"Where's Linda?" Carl asked one of the nurses by the door. Just a peep into the ward and we could already tell that it was empty.
The nurse turned, bewildered. "She was...here just a minute ago."
Good, she survived it.
But then, where was she? "What do you mean? Where's the patient?" I butt in.
The nurse, rather than respond to me, started calling the doctor. "That patient is nowhere near healthy! She can't be going around like that!"
Oh, Linda!
What have you done this time?
YOU ARE READING
The Billionaire's Betrayed Love.
Romance"Mommy, can Uncle Carl stay with us tonight for dinner?" Velma asked, giving me those cute puppy eyes of hers, I could hardly say no to. "And why is that?" I questioned sweetly. "Because I want to make him my daddy," she giggled. *** Alma got hersel...