Hate You - LN

26 - Lando

It's the Japanese Grand Prix this week and my flight just landed a few hours ago so I'm in the process of unwinding in my hotel and doing some of the exercises Devin gave me to help my shoulder. The movements are difficult and painful, but the overall feeling better after is worth it.

When I landed I texted Charles to see if we could chat. I hadn't been able to work up the courage to talk to him back in Monaco, plus I got caught up with hanging out with Max, who thankfully was here in Japan this weekend with me. I'd needed my best friend last week, even if he was just there to smack me on the back of my head when I started overthinking things. 

Which he did. Often.

My phone goes off with the subtle text tone and Charles' contact appears on my phone screen that's sitting on the couch beside me. Devin and I have a regular hotel room this week with two beds. Thankfully the room is still big enough to give each other some space. Hopefully. We still haven't talked since her birthday. I should've reached out by now I know that, but I never texted her before, or at least since she left four years ago. The first thing she hears from me should be a genuine apology in person, not some random text. Knowing Dev she'll think I just want another hookup if I just text her. I look down at my phone, behind Charles' text is just a picture of my car and I find myself missing the days Devin was my lock screen.

Yeah sure, we can meet up. The text reads. Why can I ask? Because if we're playing paddle I'll invite Carlos.

I put down the yellow exercise band I've been using and pick up my phone to reply. I need to ask you some things about Devin. I reply. I might as well just put it out there. The worst he can do is punch me again. Which he very well still might do.

Okay. There's a café at the end of the hotel strip. I'll be there in 10.

The text isn't overly enthusiastic but I didn't expect him to be. Charles and I aren't super close, not like Carlos and I anyway, but we've known each other for long enough that meeting up won't be awkward. The talking about Devin part, however, will make things awkward.

I get up from the couch and grab my cap, one without a McLaren symbol on the front since I'm wearing normal clothes right now and not team kit I might as well stick with the somewhat incognito look. My wallet and keys are on the TV stand so I grab them, stuff them both into my pockets and put my cap on.

"I'm heading out," I say to Max who is flaked out on my bed at the moment. He's got his hotel room since his girlfriend flies out to come to the Grand Prix tonight, but for some reason, he's still napping on my bed.

He groans, head in my pillows. "Finally meeting up with Charles?"

"Yeah," I move across the room in the direction of the door. This week the team rented Oscar and I both McLaren 720s since the track is a fair distance from the hotel I am thankful for it. Having a way to get myself around on weekends at any time is a lifesaver. Especially because I always tend to wake up late and cabs don't often drive fast enough. "See you later."

"Don't get punched."

"I'll try."

I exit the hotel room and walk down the hallway. The hotel like always is nice but I find myself feeling as if I needed to be back in time for Devin to arrive, or rather, wait for her to. We needed to talk, even if I don't have a necessarily right way to apologize to her yet, we need to talk about last weekend. Sure, I've had hookups since she walked out, but they were few and far between. It took me a year after she left to even let a girl near me at a club and since I saw her dressed in an Aston Martin team kit last year I haven't been able to look at any girl that way. Even if I wanted to. I don't want anyone else, only Devin. And I know that's why her leaving hurt so much. Talking with Charles, hopefully, I'll finally find out why she left and I can at least forgive myself before trying to come up with some way not to scare Devin off and make her see that my apology is meaningful.