Anomaly

The Promise

I didn't text Alora for the rest of the weekend. If our previous fights had been any indication, she was going to need at least a few days to process her feelings before she was ready to discuss with me. So I certainly wasn't expecting to see her at my locker Monday morning. Yet there she was, looking absolutely radiant in a loose-fitting grey sweater and jeans.

"Alora?"

"You seem surprised," she remarked.

"Well, yeah. I thought you would ignore me for at least a week."

I had honestly meant it as a joke, but Alora's guilt-ridden expression let me know that she didn't perceive it as one.

"It's okay, Al," I assured her. "I know you need time to think things through."

"Yeah, but there's a difference between thinking and avoiding. Can we talk?"

I nodded, then followed her as she led me to the school auditorium. The half-finished set for the upcoming school musical filled the stage, but other than that, the theater was empty. I walked toward the set, admiring the detailed paint job.

"I don't need you to fix me," Alora blurted out.

Surprised, I shifted my attention back to her. "Who said anything about fixing you?"

"'Wasting my potential?' That's just code for screwing up my life."

"Al-,"

"And maybe I am screwing up my life. But that's my decision, not yours."

"I know."

"And-" she froze, mid-thought. "What do you mean you know?"

"I mean you get to decide what you do with your life, not me. I just want us to be together. But it seems like you don't even want that."

The silence that followed told me everything I needed to know. Our relationship had always felt one-sided: I was head over heels for her, and she was indifferent to me. But when we kissed and when I found the song she had written for me, I thought that maybe, maybe, she was falling just as hard as I was.

Now I realized how stupid that thought had been.

"If you want to break up with me, just do it," I told her, trying desperately not to care.

"I don't want to break up with you."

"But you don't want a future with me," I accused. "You're still thinking of this as a temporary relationship."

"All relationships are temporary."

I gave her a perplexed look. Surely, she couldn't believe that?

"Think about this realistically, Chase," she continued. "You like me now, sure. But then you get to college and you meet hundreds of new girls who are pretty, smart, and have far less baggage than me. And you're this attractive, internet-famous, student athlete, so of course they want to be with you. And next thing you know, you want to be with one of them, too. But you have me back at home. So either you dump me, leaving me with no one and nothing, or you stay with me and resent me and we both end up miserable."

I blinked a few times. Where was I even supposed to begin unpacking all of that?

Several moments passed as I searched for what to say.

"I just...I don't want to get hurt," Alora added softly.

I studied the lines of sadness etched into her face. I understood why Alora wanted to prevent herself from falling too deeply for me. In fact, I probably understood better than most, considering that I had suffered a similar loss. But loving her was the first thing that had actually helped me cope with my father's death, whereas her desperate attempts to avoid any future pain seemed to only cause her more of it.