🥀 Blinded by Rose Petals 🥀

Part 9 - A familiar feeling

{Rantaro's POV}

I can't move. I'm frozen in place.

I keep hearing reassuring words. Or so I think.

He's hugging me. He's so close. Normally I would try to struggle out of anyone's grip, however this time... something tells me to just take it.

I shouldn't be showing weakness at school. I shouldn't be myself when I'm out in public. I shouldn't be myself when I'm not alone. But my body is tired. It's allowed itself to take a rest without my permission. I have lost control.

I've been trying so hard to be a good friend. To be a good person, for everyone's sake. And, it didn't work out. Shuichi was right. I abandoned my friends for someone I can only call a stranger. But my world has taken a turn. The roles have switched. I don't recognize them anymore, and right now I can feel a familiar warmth.

A familiar feeling...

. . .

"Sorry for that, I'm better now." We're sat against the wall on a bench outside. A gentle breeze surrounds us both as we rest. I try to think, to forget, to act natural. But it's so hard when you come to a certain realization.

I really like this guy.

Who would've thought. Who would've thought that only thanks to being nice to me, he would earn such a feeling. And it's my first time liking another man too. This can't get even weirder at this point.

I don't plan on telling him though. That would be no good. We're not even close friends, we've just met a few days ago. And yet I cried in front of him twice already. More times than I have ever done so, even in front of my sisters.

For some reason he became somewhat special.

"I'm glad you're feeling alright..." I hear a sigh of relief before he says these words. He's glad... and it makes me happy. He's more concerned about me than any of my friends. And it makes me realize that maybe, just maybe, it's fine to be a bit selfish sometimes. Maybe I don't have to constantly be a shoulder for someone to cry on.

But, in this case, I was not returning the favor at all. I mean, Kiyo has already helped me out twice now. And... I haven't actually seen him struggle with anything. To be honest, I wonder whether he's just keeping it all in just like I am in front of others. I wouldn't want that personally.

"...If you need to talk about something too, I'd be willing to listen." This is not the sort of trust I ensure others with. He is truly a special case - a friend that I'll probably have for long. I don't know his true nature at all, maybe I'm in for a really wild ride. However, I have a gut feeling that it will all come to a happy end, even if there's a few harsh turns that we'll have to take.

But, what would exactly be that happy end?

I'm trying not to look at Kiyo, but in the corner of my eyesight I can see him turn his head to me slightly. It felt like a positive reaction rather than him just being shocked at what I said.

"I'll remember that. Thank you..." He's always been so polite. He's been kind to me. At first I thought he might want something more from me, but I've come to the realization that I've never experienced true, unconditional kindness from a friend. I feel like I've only now opened my eyes fully - to see the world as it is. To see society as it is; Because not everyone is an asshole or wants something in return.