broken lies (until dawn)

Fading memories

The cold winter wind blew through the night as the snow laid on the ground the fire heating the cabin that was big, yet unused and cold clothes stacked on clothes to keep warm as the cold slowly peeked through the cracks of the door chattering heard within the big cabin. 

''oh my god I can't believe you actually did this'' Emily had spoken as disbelief yet with a small laugh as the joke they thought was so funny wasn't in the end. 

''don't you guys think this is a little cruel'' Sam was Hannah's best friend snice god knows when Sam had objected to this as Ryan had looked at the crew as they found the joke funny but it was cruel to use Hannah's crush on mike as a joke.

''i agree with Sam this is a little cruel on her I mean using her crush on mike as a joke not cool Jessica'' Ryan had spoken as his hands were stuffed inside his pockets of his jacket that carried patches and pins on it.

''relax guys it will be fun besides Sam's Hannah's best friend and Ryan has a thing for her brother so of course their going to kill the mood just relax it will be fun'' 

they had all made threw way into the living room of the cabin as they talked about the joke Ryan had looked at josh and knew that what they were doing was wrong and wanted no part in it

''you guys can pull this joke on her but i want no part of it its wrong and I won't be involved in this'' Ryan spoke as his hands moved as he started talking the others looked at him Sam had given him the eyes she always gives him the ones he gave into but this time it was josh's sister the one he just so happen to be sleeping with at the time.

Emily rolled her eyes as she looked at Ryan as she had a smirky comment to say to the man Emily and Ryan were the worst ones about not getting along with each other it was like toddlers telling on each other. 

''you're just a buzz kill Ryan lighten up it's not like it's going to hurt her'' Emily crossed her arms as she rolled her eyes at the taller man and the older man that she hated so much yet she didnt know why she did. 

''maybe not physically Emily just because you little miss blondie and Capitan jackass over here think it is doesn't mean it is funny like i said i want nothing to do with this.'' 

mike had given him the dirty look as Ryan called him a jackass, he wasn't wrong about mike either, but mike didn't need to know that a small thing of anger appeared on his face as the others started walking away from him.

Ryan could feel the guilt build up in him he had the feeling that something bad was going to happen after last year's summer he's been on edge about anything like this the night started off fun and good but then took a twisting turn.

Ryan walked into the kitchen as he saw Chris and josh passed out from the beers he's drunk Ryan took a sigh as he tried shaking josh awake only for Beth to tell him it was no use as she already tried to wake him up.

''it's no use Ry i already tried he had one to many beers along with Chris'' 

''i can tell his dead asleep'' 

Beth had looked at Ryan with a small smile as she knew about josh and Ryan the others knew that Ryan had a thing for josh but not that they were sleeping together some nights.

''he's stressed about you and him you know'' Beth had leaned against the bar with her elbows as she looked at Ryan that took a seat next to josh and smiled a little

''what makes you say that?''

''because you both agreed to keep it a winter fling but he grew attached and now he doesn't know if he should end things or tell you how he feels.'' 

Ryan gave the girl a small sad smile as he took josh's beer and took a swig of it as his thought became clear that josh wasn't alone in that.

''yeah well he's not the only one on that-''

Ryan had looked out the window and saw a figure running in the snow the same skinny curved body that was so familiar the black lace like shirt that only one person wore...

before Ryan could think he found himself running outside as the others called for Hannah Beth not far behind Ryan he had pushed past the others as they yelled for Hannah

''Hannah!''  Sam had yelled for her as Beth pushed past them and started looking for her the wind was cold it was hard to see as they all wore warm and cool clothing Ryan found himself yelling at the others as Beth went looking for Hannah 

''The fuck is wrong with you guys! first you play a joke on her and now she's gone she could be hurt or god knows what your a bunch of assholes!'' 

mike had looked at him as he was telling him to calm down as this shit got to him and Ryan felt response able because he didn't stop it he had the chance to, but he didn't out of rage Ryan picked up a bottle and threw it at the wall it is shattering and waking up josh really quick...

josh had shot up as he looked at Ryan pissed off and it was rare for Ryan to be so mad at them, he normally kept his cool so well and just walked away from the problem and josh knew that he was going to have a hard time calming him down.

josh had stood up and walked over to Ryan as he paced back and forth josh rested his hands on Ryan broad but skinny shoulders as his breath was going into panic as he looked at josh his words coming and going as he looked his crush in the eyes it scared everyone because no one has seen this said of such a calm and collected man....

''hey clam down love tell me what happened.''

josh had rested his hands on each side of Ryans cheeks as he looked the brown man in his eyes the ones that had so many emotions and so much guilt and josh questioned what they did to make him panic so much.  

Ryan clam down a little as josh hugged him and played with the curly hair, he carried that he would curl his fingers into every night the eyes he looked into every night the skin he touched sucked and fucked...  the other stood there watching as they never noticed how much control josh has over Ryan he would listen to him a lot quicker than he would Sam and that was saying a lot...

Jessica had looked at Emily then mike as they thought the same thing ''you cannot tell me there is something not going on with them''...

Ryan looked at josh and that's when it hit him the memories coming back the same memories, he told josh about the same ones he knew was similar to his traumatizing past. Ryan looked at the others then josh as he rebreeds every one-of them. 

Emily=Katylin mike=Jacob Jessica=Emma Ashley=abbey Chris=nick josh=Dylan and Sam reminded him of himself the smart and cautions one he had said their names out loud as he looked at them all confused and concerned.....

''josh what if-'' josh had interrupted him before he could finish his words 

''Ryan No it wont happen again you wont loose us like you did them i proimse''.......