The Escort Service

chapter 9

Nine



  “So the banquet went all right?” Jimin asked, puffing as he increased his level on the fancy elliptical trainer and accelerated his speed.



  “Yeah.” Jeongguk paused to even out his own breathing. He’d been working out on the elliptical next to Jimin now for almost a half hour, and he was hot, tired, sweating, and breathless. “Not exciting but not too painful.”



  “Taehyung didn’t go?”



  Jeongguk wiped a stream of perspiration from the back of his neck and steeled himself with the knowledge that he only had fifteen more minutes to go. “No. Be kind of hard to keep my pen name a secret if he—” He cut off his words briefly to suck in a few deep breaths. “If he came with me.”



  “True.” Jimin’s sticky blond hair bounced with his motion. He was in better shape than Jeongguk and didn’t have to work quite as hard for his requisite cardio time at the gym they both belonged to. “And the rest of the trip was fun?”



  “Yeah.”



  “You didn’t stay in the hotel room the whole weekend having sex, did you?”



  “Jimin!” Jeongguk tried to scowl at him grinning cousin, but he had to focus too much on keeping up his pace. “We did a lot of sightseeing and stuff.”



  “What kind of stuff?”



  “Don’t be an ass. We saw a lot of the historical sights and an art museum. He’s really smart about art. And he knows a ton about military history.”



  “Really? Was he a history major or something?”



  Jeongguk shrugged. “Don’t know.” After a pause to catch his breath again, he continued, “I think maybe his dad pushed military history. Named him after Victory of the Great ancient Korean king and everything.” He sneered as he thought about the nameless man he absolutely despised.



  “Huh. Interesting.” Jimin darted a strangely intent look over at Jeongguk. “Have you heard from him since you got back?”



  “What do you mean? We have an engagement scheduled this weekend.”



  “That’s still on?”



  Jeongguk was so confused by the direction of the questions that he slowed down his speed unconsciously. “Why wouldn’t it be? What are you getting at?”



  Jimin gave his a sheepish look. “I had a talk with Kim Seokjin a couple of days ago. He’s the one who first gave me Taehyung’s name, remember?”



“Ye— Yeah,” Jeongguk replied, feeling a flutter of nerves develop in his belly despite his physical fatigue.



  “Do you want to hear what he said?”



  Jeongguk understood why Jimin asked. It was remarkably sensitive of his cousin to check with him to make sure he wanted to hear details about another man’s experiences with Taehyung.



  The truth was Jeongguk didn’t want to hear about it. He didn’t like to think about Taehyung with his other clients. In the beginning, he hadn’t felt strange about his professional promiscuity, but lately the idea of him with so many other men made him feel kind of sick. He supposed it was inevitable. As he got to know him better, thought of him more as a person, it would be harder to accept the ways in which he let himself be used. But Jeongguk was fighting the instinct to feel disgusted by the thought of him in bed with anyone else and was trying to ignore the visuals.



  It didn’t always work. Sometimes he had random flashes, visualizing Taehyung having sex with Jung Hoseok or other nameless, faceless men. He immediately stifled the images whenever they popped in his head, but it was happening more and more often.



He really shouldn’t feed his growing fixation. He should tell Jimin no and change the subject. But he heard himself saying, “What did he say?”



  “He said Taehyung was retiring.”



  Jeongguk felt a sharp kick in his gut. “What?”



  “That’s what Jin told me. That he was retiring. He wasn’t making new appointments.”



  For a moment Jeongguk’s vision blurred over and he felt a sudden burst of angsty momentum, his legs and arms abruptly moving fast and hard on the elliptical. But it only took him a minute to figure out a sensible solution to the bewildering scenario.



  The tension eased in his chest as he explained, “He’s cutting back on clients.”



  Jimin’s eyebrows drew together. “Jin said he was retiring.”



  With a shrug, Jeongguk explained, “He probably wanted to let him down easy, and that was his excuse for refusing appointments.”



  “And what is his criteria for keeping some clients and letting others go?” Jimin frowned as if he remained unconvinced.



  “Who knows? Maybe he’s keeping the ones he gets the most money from. Or the ones that aren’t as much work.”



  “And he’s keeping you as a client?”



  “Yeah. He hasn’t said anything about canceling my appointments. We’ve got the rest of the month scheduled out.”



“Umm Hmm.”



  Jeongguk jerked his head over to glare at his cousin. “What does that mean?”



  “Nothing,” Jimin said, feigning innocence. “I was just thinking.”



  Gritting his teeth, Jeongguk resolved not to dignify his cousin’s teasing with a response.



  “But seriously,” Jimin continued, “you had a good time with him in Quebec? It wasn’t weird or awkward?”



“Why would it be weird or awkward?”



  “I don’t know. Jin told me that he took him on a weekend to London, and the business matters kept getting in the way of the sexy thrill.”



  Jeongguk swallowed, trying to channel his irrationally conflicted emotions into his workout. It would be far wiser if he just dropped this subject completely. “What business matters?”



  “Oh, you know. Sorting out exactly what his role would be. Keeping track of all the sexual activity so he could pay him at the end. Getting a suite with two bedrooms so he could sleep in his own room. All the logistics.”



  Jeongguk stopped moving, his legs sliding to a slow, heavy stop. “What?”









Missing







  Jimin slowed down too. “What what? Why do you look so gut-foundered?”



  Jeongguk didn’t answer. He just stared blindly ahead of him and tried to process this new information.



  Apparently, Jimin could put the pieces together on his own. “Didn’t he do all that with you?”



  “Yeah. No. I don’t know.” Unable to get his legs to move, Jeongguk climbed off the elliptical trainer and picked up his towel to wipe off his hot, red face.



  “Jeongguk?” Jimin got off too. “Tell me.”



  “We shared a room,” Jeongguk admitted. “And we didn’t spend much time talking about money.”



  “Why not?”



  Jeongguk felt mortified all of a sudden—for no good reason. He couldn’t even look Jimin in the eye. “I don’t know. It all just sort of felt... natural.”



  “Natural? A weekend with a male escort?” Jimin’s voice conveyed ironic skepticism.



  “I know it sounds weird. But it did. We like each other. I think. I mean, we’ve gotten to know each other. And so it doesn’t feel so much like... like an impersonal business transaction.”



  “Oh God,” Jimin groaned into his towel. “Pretty Woman.”



  “It’s not like that,” Jeongguk snapped. “I’m not stupid. But we get along well. And so most of the business stuff just sort of falls to the side and we just have a good time.”



  “He has a good time too?”



  “I don’t know.” Jeongguk tried not to squirm with embarrassment. “Sometimes I think so. It’s hard to tell—because he has such good instincts about what a client wants from him—but I’m pretty sure he has a decent time with me.”



  “That doesn’t sound like a normal scenario with a male escort and his client.”



  Jeongguk scowled. “How the hell do you know what’s normal with a male escort? I don’t even know. I’ve never been with another one.”



  “Well,” Jimin said, his face softening with humor. “I guess that’s true. Who’s to know what normal behavior consists of when it comes to male escorts? But it sounds a little suspicious to me. Like things aren’t entirely professional.”



  “They are professional,” Jeongguk insisted. “I pay him every evening. He’s just really good at his job. He gives men what they want.”



  “Maybe. But maybe you should dig into it a little to make sure. Have you thought about talking to him about how you are together?”



  Stiffening, Jeongguk said a little awkwardly, “No, I haven’t. He’s told me quite clearly that he breaks off the business arrangement when a client tries to go beyond professional boundaries.”



  “Oh. I see.” After thinking about this for a moment, Jimin added, “And you’re not willing to take that risk.”



  “What risk? It’s a done deal. He made that more than clear. No more appointments for a client who tries to break those boundaries. I know this thing can’t last forever, but I’m having a good time with him, and I don’t want it to end yet.”



  Jimin studied him—a little suspiciously, he thought. But for once, his cousin didn’t say anything.



  Jeongguk let out a long breath. His legs felt weak from the exercise, and his face was blazing red.



  And he felt strangely uncomfortable in the wake of this particular conversation.



                         



                           *******

 



Jeongguk lay next to Taehyung on the bed of his hotel room and stared up at the ceiling. “Are you going to retire?” he blurted out.



  Taehyung’s neck twitched spasmodically, jerking his head over to look at him. “What?”



  Jeongguk found the courage to glance over at Taehyung. Saw his expression was still, almost frozen. “I asked if you were going to retire,” he admitted, feeling a surge of mortification at the random, revealing question.



  It was almost seven thirty on Friday evening. Just last weekend they’d been in Quebec. Just last Monday Jeongguk had talked to Jimin on the elliptical trainers. And both things had been on his mind all week.



  When Taehyung had arrived, they’d talked for a while about casual issues and then had fallen into a silence that felt almost tired. They hadn’t yet touched, and now Jeongguk had been foolish enough to blurt out a question he never should have asked.



  Taehyung replied with a slow, careful sentence. “I assume I’ll retire one day.”



  “Yeah. I would imagine so. I meant anytime soon.”



  “Why do you ask?”



  Jeongguk gave a helpless shrug. Sorted through a few possible responses and landed on the truthful one. “My cousin was talking to one of your old clients. And he said you were retiring.”



  Taehyung’s lips parted slightly, as if he now understood where the question was coming from. But he didn’t answer immediately.



  Jeongguk felt his pulse start to pound as he watched the subtle flickers of emotion cross his face—the flutter of a jaw muscle, the tightening of his mouth, the blink of his eyelashes. He unconsciously held his breath as he waited.



  He wasn’t even sure which answer he wanted to hear. Part of him wanted him to say yes, wanted him to give up this line of work and find something to do that would really fulfill him, that would make him feel like something more valuable than a piece of meat. Maybe doing this job wasn’t unhealthy for some people, but he was worried it was unhealthy for Taehyung, so he would probably be better off if he didn’t do it.



  But the selfish part of him was terrified that Taehyung was going to drop him as a client, that he’d never see him again.



  Either way, he was more invested in this answer than was entirely healthy.



  Finally Taehyung said, “I would have told you if I no longer wanted you as a client.”



  Jeongguk swallowed hard. Then let out his breath. “Yeah. I assumed you would. But I guess this former client seemed pretty sure of your retirement.”



  Taehyung cleared his throat. His deep brown eyes were oddly tentative. He opened his mouth to speak. But then shut it again without shaping a word.



  “What is it?” Jeongguk asked breathlessly, tilting his head toward him instinctively.



  Taehyung shook his head and glanced away. “I told you I was cutting back on my clients. And I had to tell him something.”



  “Yeah. That’s what I told Jimin. I figured it was just an excuse. I mean, it would be kind of rude for you to retire without telling me, wouldn’t it?” Jeongguk smiled at him, trying for ironic teasing although he still felt oddly nervous and embarrassed.



  He returned his smile easily, and Jeongguk relaxed a little. Everything was as it always was between them. There was no reason for him to get so uptight about what Jimin had told him on Monday.



  “Oh, I meant to tell you,” Jeongguk said. “I’m going to be out of town for a couple of weeks at the beginning of next month.”



  “Work trip?” Taehyung asked, arching his eyebrows.



  It was actually a book tour for his new release, but Jeongguk cut off the explanation before he spoke it. Taehyung didn’t know he was Ian jk , and it might become too obvious if he said he was going on a book tour right when Ian Jk’s highly anticipated new romance was released.



  “Yeah,” Jeongguk said vaguely. “Something like that.”



  Taehyung nodded and didn’t pursue the subject.



  They lay side by side, and both stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes.



  “So your new book is coming out on the first of the month?” Taehyung asked at last, speaking casually and without any prelude.



  “Ye—” Jeongguk answered automatically before he realized what he’d just asked. He jerked up to a sitting position with a gasp and stared down at his bland face. “You know?”



  Taehyung gave him a slight, sheepish smile. “Guilty.”



  Jeongguk’s heart hammered, and his belly twisted—with a collection of emotions he couldn’t entirely work out. “You’ve known all along?” He was dismayed to hear the hint of betrayal in his words.



  Shaking his head, Taehyung sat up too. “No. When we talked about it at first, I had no idea. But I’ve reread some of your books in the last few months, and I kept seeing... seeing you in them.”



  “Oh.” Jeongguk felt himself blushing for some reason.



  “I thought it must be you. And then, last weekend, it didn’t take too much searching to discover what writers’ conference was being held in Quebec during those days and who the keynote speaker was. It just affirmed my suspicions.”



  Jeongguk slumped back on the bed, releasing a long, shaky breath. He should have known Taehyung was too sharp and observant to hide something like this from.



  A tiny little part of him was glad Taehyung knew. Glad he knew that he was his favorite romance writer.



  Taehyung reclined back as well, but his face was turned toward him, his eyes resting on his face. “Are you upset?”



  “No,” Taehyung admitted, turning to smile at him almost bashfully. “I guess not. I mean, now that I know you, I feel pretty safe about a story not appearing in the tabloids about how Ian jk has been using the services of a sex professional for the last six months.”



  Taehyung’s eyes were unusually sober. And after a moment of silence he said, “I hope you believe that.”



  “I do. I know you’re not going to the press with the story.”



  “The story will never come out through me,” Taehyung murmured. Then his lips twitched a little. “It won’t even appear in my true-life confessions best seller.”



  “Hey,” Jeongguk said, giving him a reproachful look. “Don’t mock the book idea. I was serious about that.”



  “I know you were.” For just a few seconds, his smile looked almost tender. Then the softness disappeared in his easy irony. “Although it was a rash suggestion since you don’t even know if I can string together two sentences.”



  Jeongguk sniffed disdainfully. “Please. Someone as intelligent and articulate as you? Of course you can write. Besides, you don’t have to be a brilliant writer. Just interesting and basically coherent. You’d have an editor to clean things up.”



  Taehyung chuckled. “You’re serious about this.”



  “Yes. I am. Why shouldn’t I be? Just say the word, and I’ll do anything I can to help.”



  That softness flickered in his eyes again, disappearing just as quickly as before. “I appreciate it. But I’m not sure I’m a project worth pursuing.”



  Jeongguk hated the resignation he heard in his last words. It was worse than the bitterness he heard far more often. He opened his mouth to argue but then changed his mind.



  Nothing he could say would change his mind about himself, would make him believe he had true value.



  Jeongguk reached over and turned his head toward him again, keeping a palm on his cheek. Then he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Taehyung’s.



  Jeongguk had no delusions about the powers of kiss. It wasn’t going to change anything about his attitude toward himself. Couldn’t reshape his whole world. But it was the only thing he could think of to do to express how he felt at the moment.



  And he needed to do something.



  Taehyung responded immediately to his kiss, but he let him take complete control of it. His mouth opened, and his tongue moved at his urging. But he didn’t roll over or reach out to touch him.



  They kissed for a long time, joined only by their mouths and Jeongguk’s hand on his cheek. It felt sweet and oddly innocent, and Jeongguk felt both his body and his emotions responding. But eventually he wanted more, so he slid his hand down to Taehyung’s chest and then lower to his abdomen. Taehyung wore a slate-blue dress shirt, and he stroked his belly through the expensive fabric.



  He loved the feel of the flat, firm muscles there, rising and falling with his accelerating breathing.



  Then he slid his hand even lower. To the front of his trousers. Realized he was already getting hard.



  Jeongguk wondered why Taehyung wasn’t making any moves, why he just lay on the bed and let him kiss and caress him.



  Sometimes Taehyung was so unknowable he wanted to scream.



  Jeongguk  wanted to know how Taehyung was feeling. He wanted him to feel as deep and overwhelmed as he did at the moment. He wanted him to react to him with genuine pleasure and affection.



  Jeongguk wanted Taehyung to respond to him in a way he did with no other client. No one else but him.



  And suddenly he knew what he wanted to do.



  Jeongguk’s hands moved to Taehyung’s belt and started to unhook the buckle. Then he unfastened his trousers and untucked his shirt. Started to slowly unbutton it, baring his chest to his view. He slid his shirt off his shoulders. And then he started to push off his trousers.



  Only then did Taehyung help by lifting up his hips. Taehyung’s eyes hadn’t left his face the whole time he undressed him, and his gaze was quiet and questioning with a depth he didn’t understand.



  “Taehyung,” Jeongguk said at last, surprised his voice came out so unsteadily. “Can I...”



  Taehyung found and held his self-conscious gaze. “Jeongguk, you can do whatever you want.”



  The words made Jeongguk’s belly twist at the same time they reassured him. “I wanted to... I’ll need to add some money to the envelope, but I...”



  “Jeongguk, just tell me what you want.”



  “Oral sex,” he managed to choke out, his cheeks burning hotly. After all this time, it was silly to be embarrassed. But he was. Not so much by the act but by the vulnerability of saying he wanted it.



  Taehyung’s brows drew together, and he started to turn on his side and push himself up. “Of course. I can—”



  “No,” he interrupted, realizing he’d misunderstood. “I wanted to do it.” He swallowed hard. “On you.”



  “Oh.”



  “Can I?”



  Taehyung froze for a moment. “Yes,” he said softly. “If you want.”



  “I do.”



  For a moment they just looked at each other. Then Taehyung rolled off the bed and walked over to his case, where he pulled out a foil packet. “This condom will be easier for you to use. It’s slightly mint flavoured, and it will taste a lot better than latex.”



  Jeongguk nodded and watched as Taehyung rid himself off his boxers and returned to the bed. He was already almost fully erect.



  Taehyung handed him the condom and lay back down on the bed on his back. He stared up at his face and waited.



  Jeongguk really wanted to do this, but he was also getting very nervous. “I’ve never done this before,” he said. “I won’t know what I’m doing. You’ll have to help.”



  “Of course. Anything you want.”



  Jeongguk  scooted down on the bed until his face was in range of his groin. He stared down at his erect cock, a deeper shade than the rest of his body. He thought he saw it twitch as he watched.



  His eyes darted back to his face, and he gave him a little smile. Oddly comforted, he laughed nervously. “I’m not going to be any good at it—just to warn you. And I hope you’re not going to expect anything fancy. I mean, you’re not going to go down my throat or anything, are you?”



  Taehyung’s lips twitched, although his gaze was still that quiet, intense one. “Of course not. I’ll just lie here and let you do your thing. Just tell me if you want anything different.”



  Jeongguk snickered at his choice of words. And then he inhaled a long, shuddering breath. He took his cock in his hands and stroked it for a minute, running his fingers up and down the shaft and then twirling the tip a little.



  Jeongguk liked how Taehyung sucked in his breath very slightly at his touch. And how he could feel his erection twitch and harden under his fingers.



  Since Taehyung was plenty erect already, Jeongguk opened the condom packet and carefully rolled it on. He’d always taken care of the condoms before, so he made sure he got it on securely and didn’t nick it with his fingernails.



  Then he adjusted his body on the bed, leaning over so his face was hovering above his pelvis. He held his cock upright with his hands and experimentally licked a line in a circle near the top of his shaft.



  He heard Taehyung’s breath hitch, and he smacked his mouth around the taste of the condom. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t terribly unpleasant. He imagined it would be better without a condom at all, but that was out of the question, of course.



  Looking back up at Taehyung’s face, he saw his handsome features were tense and unreadable. Again, he wondered what he was thinking. Whether Taehyung really wanted to do this to him.



  Jeongguk  wondered whether it would please him. He wanted to please him. The way Taehyung’d always pleased him.



  He took a breath and then licked his cock again, this time going from the bottom to the top. Then he took the head in his mouth and started to suck.



  On the first hollowing of his cheeks, Taehyung gasped and his hands shifted slightly on the bed. Assuming this meant he liked it, he took more of him in his mouth and sucked again.



  It felt like his cock was pulsing, even through the latex of the condom, and the more suction he applied, the tenser his body became.



  Jeongguk knew there was more he should do as part of a blow job, and he tried to focus his scattered thoughts on the scenes he’d read in books for something to add to the sucking. Landing on a couple of ideas, even through the blurred excitement of his mind, he wrapped one hand around the bottom half of his shaft and used the other to stroke one of his thighs.



  Jeongguk had a little trouble coordinating the squeezing with the sucking. He fumbled around for a minute before he let his cock slip from his mouth.



  His eyes met Taehyung’s. He sensed rather than saw a tension coiled tightly beneath the surface of his expression, of his body. But he’d been as good as his word. He hadn’t moved at all.



  “Aren’t you going to help me?” Jeongguk asked thickly. Only then did he realize that he was aroused as well. His nipples were tight beneath his clothes and he was already wet between his legs.



  “Of course,” Taehyung murmured, his voice unusually low and textured. He moved one hand to the back of his head. “But you were doing great.”



  Jeongguk wrapped his hand more firmly around the base of his erection and lowered his mouth again, taking in as much of him as he comfortably could. He started to suck again, and this time Taehyung applied gentle pressure, guiding the bobbing of his head and helping to create a pleasing rhythm.



  Taehyung’s hand curved around the back of his skull, his fingers tangled in his hair, and the pressure felt reassuring rather than bossy. He hollowed out his cheeks to the tempo of his soft urging, and his motion became more confident as he progressed.



Extras







  With his free hand, he caressed up his thigh and then dipped it below his face so he could find his balls. He cupped him, feeling him gently. Then he applied a little pressure.



  Taehyung grunted, and his pelvis twitched up just a little. It startled him momentarily, but he managed not to fall out of rhythm.



  He trusted Taehyung. He was skillful and considerate. He knew this was his first time, and he’d never let him down before. He wasn’t going to try to fuck his throat.



  He shifted his hips restlessly, more aroused now than ever as he processed Taehyung’s reactions to his ministrations. He intensified his rhythm and felt his body tighten even more.



  Using his thumb, he stroked his sac, squeezed the base of his cock and bobbed his head. Taehyung’s free hand had started to fumble around in the bedding, and his head jerked uneasily on the pillow.



  Jeongguk hummed around his hard flesh at these signs of how he was pleasing him.



  It felt so good to please him. Better than anything.



  “Jeongguk,” Taehyung said thickly, his body so tense now he was almost shaking.



  He hummed again as he worked over his cock the best he could, adjusting his body to get better leverage.



  Taehyung’s hand tightened at the back of his head, fisting in his hair until he made himself loosen it again. “Jeongguk.” His head was propped up slightly, and his eyes never left the sight of his mouth around his cock.



  Humming out another response, he felt his intimate muscles clenching instinctively.



  “Jeongguk!” Taehyung rasped, his back arching slightly as he visibly fought to keep himself still. Both his hands had tightened with his clench of arousal, squeezing his cock and his balls simultaneously.



  Jeongguk’s mouth worked ceaselessly. He’d generated a lot of saliva, and the flavor of the condom was dissipating. But at this point he was too into the moment to care. While it was a little sloppy and inexperienced, his blow job appeared to be having a good effect.



  He could feel tremors run through Taehyung’s body. Both his hands had fisted now—one in the bedding and one in his hair. His hips were rocking very slightly, involuntarily. And his face was flushed and twisted with what looked like effort and pleasure.



  “Jeongguk,” he choked out, his head jerking to the side. “Jeongguk, I’m going to come. If you don’t stop, I’m going to—” His words broke off in a guttural exclamation as he squeezed his balls again.



  He knew Taehyung was trying to warn him in case he wanted to make further use of his erection. But that was nonsense. Of course he wanted him to come. So he sucked as hard as he could, fondling his sac one more time.



  Taehyung’s body pulsed as a choked sound escaped his lips. Prepared in advance, he listened carefully to hear the words, but he’d fully stifled whatever it was he said, biting his bottom lip so hard it whitened.



  Then the tension in his body shattered beneath his. His hips gave a few clumsy jerks against his mouth, and his free hand groped frantically on the mattress beside him. With a series of thick gasps and exhalations, he rode out the spasms of his climax. He could feel his cock pulse in his mouth.



  The condom prevented him from having to swallow his semen, but it felt like he’d released inside him just the same.



  He finally let his cock slip from his lips, and he sat on his knees, staring at his flushed, damp face.



  Jeongguk was gasping just as desperately as Taehyung was.



  His climax seemed to have wiped him out. His body had softened so completely he looked limp and boneless. Feeling a swell of both pride and tenderness, he carefully removed the condom and tied it off so Taehyung wouldn’t have to get up right away.



  Jeongguk managed to stand and walk to the bathroom to throw it away. He stared into the mirror for a moment and processed his appearance. His cheeks were just as red as Taehyung’s. His nipples were standing out visibly through his clothes. And every time he moved, he was conscious of his hot, hard wet arousal.



  But he’d wanted Taehyung to come just now more than he’d wanted to himself.



  When he returned, Taehyung was still sprawled out on the bed. But he turned his head toward him as he approached. “Thanks,” he said hoarsely. “You didn’t have to take care of the condom.”



  “Why not?” Jeongguk asked with a shrug, climbing back onto the bed. He slanted him an anxious look. “Did I do all right for my first time?”



  Taehyung choked on a laugh. Then another one. For a minute his whole body shook with helpless, ironic laughter.



  Jeongguk frowned at him. “I know I didn’t do that bad.”



  “Jeongguk,” Taehyung gasped. “Are you blind? You saw the way I came. You really need to ask if you did all right?”



  “Oh.” He squirmed a little, in pleased embarrassment. “Well, I didn’t know. I mean, maybe I did a bad job but you came just to boost my confidence.”



  Taehyung shook his head, looking strangely tired. “You really think I’m that good of an actor?”



  “Aren’t you?”



  “No.”



  Jeongguk’s belly twisted again with that same jittery emotion, and he lay down next to Taehyung, turning on his side so he could look at him.



  He didn’t know what to say, so he just remained quiet. Taehyung’s breathing was leveling off now, but his body looked loose and relaxed. Absolutely sated. He’d done that to him.



  He hadn’t expected Taehyung to react the way he had to his blow job. He hadn’t expected to feel the way he did about his reaction. He hadn’t expected to be so turned on afterward. And he hadn’t expected to experience this chaotic churning of emotions—confusion, pride, pleasure, embarrassment, discomfort, and bone-deep fear.



  Suddenly his swirling emotions became so intense he wasn’t sure he could handle them. Since looking at Taehyung had intensified them, he turned over onto his other side so he was facing away from him.



  Trying to talk himself out of his foolishness, he breathed deeply and sorted through his confusion.



  Before he had a chance to figure out anything else, Taehyung’s voice came from behind him. “Jeongguk? What’s the matter?”



  “Nothing.” He was pleased when his voice was mostly natural.



  Evidently Taehyung didn’t believe him. He heard a rustle of the bedding as he moved closer to him. Then felt his warm hand on his bare shoulder. “Jeongguk? Did you not like it after all?”



  Taehyung’s voice held just a hint of hesitance, and it made him turn his head back to look at him over his shoulder. He’d propped himself up on one arm, and his gaze was sober and intent.



  “Jeongguk,” he prompted softly. “You need to tell me if there was something about what happened that made you uncomfortable.”



  “I’m not uncomfortable,” Jeongguk began. At his look of obvious skepticism, he hurried on. “I mean, I liked it. I really did. It’s just that I didn’t... I didn’t expect...” He trailed off, realizing there was absolutely no way for his to tell him the whole truth.



  “What didn’t you expect?” Taehyung’s face had become oddly still, in the unsettling way it sometimes did.



  He found the least disturbing part of his feelings to admit to him. “I didn’t expect to get so turned on by doing that.” He blushed a little, even though his admission didn’t come close to the true nature of his reactions.



  Taehyung’s face relaxed. He gave him a smile that was almost naughty. His hand moved from his shoulder and stroked down his bare arm. “Well, that’s definitely not a problem,” he murmured.



  He smiled back, feeling better now that the mood between them was more familiar. He straightened his head, no longer looking back toward Taehyung. And he let Taehyung settle himself behind him, pressing the lean lines of his body against his back and stroking his nipples, belly, and hips with one skillful hand.



  After just a minute, he was breathless with arousal again and wriggling back against Taehyung as he gently fondled his nipples. “Taehyung,” he gasped. “I want you so bad.”



  Jeongguk felt a new sensation then against his bottom. After a moment he realized what it was. He was growing erect again—far more quickly than he had expected.



  “Already?” he asked, looking at him over his shoulder and shamelessly rubbing his bottom against the hard length poking into him from behind.



  Taehyung made a guttural moan in response to his squirming, and he lowered his mouth to the hollow of his throat, mouthing his skin and nipping a little.



  Then, with strong, gentle hands, he turned him over onto his stomach and started gathering his top into his hands so he could pull it off over his head.



  Jeongguk let him undress him, loving the feel of his weight on top of him, the way it pushed him into the mattress. He groaned in helpless pleasure as he squeezed the flesh of his ass and mouthed the nape of his neck.



  He reached over for a condom from the nightstand and quickly rolled it on. Then he raised his hips, sank two fingers inside his to test his readiness and, finding his sopping wet, aligned his cock at his entrance and then eased into his from behind.



  He let out a long, wet sigh, enjoying both the feel of his body and the way he wasn’t making his handle all the decisions. He braced himself on folded arms and bumped his bottom back against his groin.



  He grunted at the impact, but then he followed his silent urging and began to thrust.



  Jeongguk was incredibly aroused, and the fast, pleasing rhythm he developed sent jolt after jolt of sensation to a quickly building orgasm at his center. He huffed at each of his deep strokes, and his body instinctively followed the tempo, eagerly rocking back against him to intensify the sensations.



  Pretty soon the feelings inside Jeongguk became so intense that he couldn’t remain quiet. He started to make little grunts on each of his instrokes, and then the grunts transformed into breathless exclamations.



  “Good, Jeongguk. So good,” Taehyung gritted out, his thick voice proving he was already pretty far gone, despite his earlier climax. His speed had accelerated, and his fingers dug into the flesh of his ass, guiding his frantic motion. “Come for me.”



  He was already close. So close he sweated as waves of heat slammed into his. His breathless exclamations turned to sobbing sounds. “Coming,” he choked, “Yes, Taehyung! Gonna come.”



  Then he did come, hiding his face in the pillow as he screamed out the intense spasms of pleasure. Taehyung made a strangled sound as he kept thrusting.



  Before Jeongguk was through riding out his first orgasm, he felt another one swell up on its heels. His whole body shook frantically, his nipples and the flesh of his ass and thighs jiggling with his shameless motion. And he came again. Hard.



  This time he didn’t have time to hide his face in the pillow, so his cry of release was loud and naked.



  “Oh fuck!” Taehyung gasped, his hips pistoning wildly against his ass. Then he choked out something he was too overwhelmed to hear properly.



  He came. He felt his body shuddering behind his, felt his cock pulsing inside his, felt his fingers grip his body so desperately they would leave bruises.



  Jeongguk was panting hoarsely as his body slumped forward. Taehyung fell with his, and for a moment his hot, sated weight rested on top of his again. He panted too. On each exhale, he made a sound like a moan.



  And Jeongguk would be perfectly happy for them never to move from this position, from this visceral satisfaction.



  But he did move. Without speaking, Taehyung eased his softening cock out of his wet passage and heaved himself up off the bed.



  He walked silently to the bathroom. He heard the water run in the sink. And he didn’t hear it go off.



  After a minute, a jolt of sharp curiosity propelled Jeongguk out of his sated stupor. He climbed off the bed and hurried over toward the bathroom, determined to find out what Taehyung did in there when he took extra time.



  The door was halfway open, so he could peer in. Taehyung stood in front of the sink full of running water. Taehyung was leaning over, bracing himself with both hands on the counter. His shoulders were slumped, his eyes closed, and his head bent. His face and head were streaming wet from where he’d evidently splashed water on his face.



  And he appeared to be taking deep breaths.



  Jeongguk gaped for a minute. He looked exhausted. Overwhelmed. And strangely aching.



  “Are you all right?” he asked without thinking, his voice breaking with his concern. His heart started to hammer in anxiety and apprehension.



  Taehyung’s whole body jerked clumsily as he whirled around toward his. “Yes,” he said hoarsely, recovering himself quickly. “Just catching my breath.”



  It had looked like he was doing more than that. In that moment he’d seen him vulnerable, he’d appeared almost... battered.



  His eyes started to burn as he wondered whether using himself in this way took a bigger emotional toll on him than he realized. Maybe having sex with his ripped him to shreds. “You didn’t like it?” he asked in a wavering voice. He cringed at his needy, childish tone



  Taehyung made a huff of sound and put his arm around his as he urged his back toward the bed. “Don’t be ridiculous, Jeongguk. Of course I liked it.”



  He liked the feel of his arm around his, and his heart unclenched at his answer. As they crawled back into bed and under the covers, he said shyly, “You didn’t wait for me to tell you to come.”



  “I know.” He gave his a rueful half smile. “Sorry about that. You probably could have come a few more times if I’d managed to hold out.”



  “Don’t be sorry. I prefer you to come when you want. Really.” He peered at him and saw that he was genuinely unsettled by his involuntary climax. Keeping his voice light, he added, “I’m amazed at the control you usually have. It’s quite remarkable. In all these months, that’s the first time you came without asking me first.”



  A flicker of expression on Taehyung’s face reminded his of something.



  “It wasn’t the first time,” he said slowly.



  “No. It wasn’t.”



  “When I came back from Hong Kong.”



  Taehyung nodded moodily. “Twice now. Not a good record. I’m not normally so weak.”



  He made a dismissive gesture. “Now you’re being ridiculous. I want you to come when you want.” Despite his confident words, he darted a nervous look over at him. “So you’re really all right? It’s not that you don’t like it?”



  Taehyung’s mouth twisted, and he stared at the ceiling. “I told you so already. I like it. That’s the problem.”



  His words washed his with a flood of warm pleasure. He wasn’t sure if he should believe him. After all, his job was to please women in any way he could. He’d spent years telling his clients exactly what they wanted to hear. Maybe that was what was happening here.



  But instinct told his something different, and his words made his feel really good.



  THE NEXT DAY LORI SAT in front of a computer and pulled up a database of articles from major Seattle newspapers over the last three decades.



  He shouldn’t be doing this. The idea had crossed his mind more than once over the last several months, but he’d always ignored it—knowing that Taehyung’s personal life was his own and it was far healthier for his to keep his relationship with him purely professional.



  But here he was anyway. He began to type in a series of search terms, various combinations of the words “Taehyung,” “Alexander,” “bald,” “hair,” “son,” “businessman,” and “disinherited.”



  It took his less than ten minutes to find the information he sought. He pulled up a brief article from a local publication that focused primarily on business news. The article, from twelve years ago, mentioned how twenty-two-year-old Kim Taehyung—the son of a very wealthy, notorious man—had refused to join his father in business and had been legally disinherited.



  Jeongguk stared at the story on the monitor. Stared at the picture of a very young Taehyung, as red haired then as he was now. Stared at the name, printed there in black-and-white.



  It all made sense. Everything Taehyung had told him about his father and about his early life. And everything he had sensed about the way he’d been emotionally victimized as a child. The truth of his identity closed the final gap in his understanding.



  And he had no idea what to do about it.



  No idea if he should tell him. How he should tell him. What he would say. What kind of difference it would make.



  He had no idea what he was doing with Taehyung anymore. While he was still trying to ignore the confusion of his feelings, he was honest enough to admit to himself that he’d gone way beyond the professional with him.



  But one thing he now knew.



  For the last six months, he’d been fucking the estranged son of Kim Namjoon—who was CEO of one of Seattle’s largest corporations and very likely a white-collar criminal.



 



Nine



  “So the banquet went all right?” Jimin asked, puffing as he increased his level on the fancy elliptical trainer and accelerated his speed.



  “Yeah.” Jeongguk paused to even out his own breathing. He’d been working out on the elliptical next to Jimin now for almost a half hour, and he was hot, tired, sweating, and breathless. “Not exciting but not too painful.”



  “Taehyung didn’t go?”



  Jeongguk wiped a stream of perspiration from the back of his neck and steeled himself with the knowledge that he only had fifteen more minutes to go. “No. Be kind of hard to keep my pen name a secret if he—” He cut off his words briefly to suck in a few deep breaths. “If he came with me.”



  “True.” Jimin’s sticky blond hair bounced with his motion. He was in better shape than Jeongguk and didn’t have to work quite as hard for his requisite cardio time at the gym they both belonged to. “And the rest of the trip was fun?”



  “Yeah.”



  “You didn’t stay in the hotel room the whole weekend having sex, did you?”



  “Jimin!” Jeongguk tried to scowl at him grinning cousin, but he had to focus too much on keeping up his pace. “We did a lot of sightseeing and stuff.”



  “What kind of stuff?”



  “Don’t be an ass. We saw a lot of the historical sights and an art museum. He’s really smart about art. And he knows a ton about military history.”



  “Really? Was he a history major or something?”



  Jeongguk shrugged. “Don’t know.” After a pause to catch his breath again, he continued, “I think maybe his dad pushed military history. Named him after Victory of the Great ancient Korean king and everything.” He sneered as he thought about the nameless man he absolutely despised.



  “Huh. Interesting.” Jimin darted a strangely intent look over at Jeongguk. “Have you heard from him since you got back?”



  “What do you mean? We have an engagement scheduled this weekend.”



  “That’s still on?”



  Jeongguk was so confused by the direction of the questions that he slowed down his speed unconsciously. “Why wouldn’t it be? What are you getting at?”



  Jimin gave his a sheepish look. “I had a talk with Kim Seokjin a couple of days ago. He’s the one who first gave me Taehyung’s name, remember?”



“Ye— Yeah,” Jeongguk replied, feeling a flutter of nerves develop in his belly despite his physical fatigue.



  “Do you want to hear what he said?”



  Jeongguk understood why Jimin asked. It was remarkably sensitive of his cousin to check with him to make sure he wanted to hear details about another man’s experiences with Taehyung.



  The truth was Jeongguk didn’t want to hear about it. He didn’t like to think about Taehyung with his other clients. In the beginning, he hadn’t felt strange about his professional promiscuity, but lately the idea of him with so many other men made him feel kind of sick. He supposed it was inevitable. As he got to know him better, thought of him more as a person, it would be harder to accept the ways in which he let himself be used. But Jeongguk was fighting the instinct to feel disgusted by the thought of him in bed with anyone else and was trying to ignore the visuals.



  It didn’t always work. Sometimes he had random flashes, visualizing Taehyung having sex with Jung Hoseok or other nameless, faceless men. He immediately stifled the images whenever they popped in his head, but it was happening more and more often.



He really shouldn’t feed his growing fixation. He should tell Jimin no and change the subject. But he heard himself saying, “What did he say?”



  “He said Taehyung was retiring.”



  Jeongguk felt a sharp kick in his gut. “What?”



  “That’s what Jin told me. That he was retiring. He wasn’t making new appointments.”



  For a moment Jeongguk’s vision blurred over and he felt a sudden burst of angsty momentum, his legs and arms abruptly moving fast and hard on the elliptical. But it only took him a minute to figure out a sensible solution to the bewildering scenario.



  The tension eased in his chest as he explained, “He’s cutting back on clients.”



  Jimin’s eyebrows drew together. “Jin said he was retiring.”



  With a shrug, Jeongguk explained, “He probably wanted to let him down easy, and that was his excuse for refusing appointments.”



  “And what is his criteria for keeping some clients and letting others go?” Jimin frowned as if he remained unconvinced.



  “Who knows? Maybe he’s keeping the ones he gets the most money from. Or the ones that aren’t as much work.”



  “And he’s keeping you as a client?”



  “Yeah. He hasn’t said anything about canceling my appointments. We’ve got the rest of the month scheduled out.”



“Umm Hmm.”



  Jeongguk jerked his head over to glare at his cousin. “What does that mean?”



  “Nothing,” Jimin said, feigning innocence. “I was just thinking.”



  Gritting his teeth, Jeongguk resolved not to dignify his cousin’s teasing with a response.



  “But seriously,” Jimin continued, “you had a good time with him in Quebec? It wasn’t weird or awkward?”



“Why would it be weird or awkward?”



  “I don’t know. Jin told me that he took him on a weekend to London, and the business matters kept getting in the way of the sexy thrill.”



  Jeongguk swallowed, trying to channel his irrationally conflicted emotions into his workout. It would be far wiser if he just dropped this subject completely. “What business matters?”



  “Oh, you know. Sorting out exactly what his role would be. Keeping track of all the sexual activity so he could pay him at the end. Getting a suite with two bedrooms so he could sleep in his own room. All the logistics.”



  Jeongguk stopped moving, his legs sliding to a slow, heavy stop. “What?”









Missing







  Jimin slowed down too. “What what? Why do you look so gut-foundered?”



  Jeongguk didn’t answer. He just stared blindly ahead of him and tried to process this new information.



  Apparently, Jimin could put the pieces together on his own. “Didn’t he do all that with you?”



  “Yeah. No. I don’t know.” Unable to get his legs to move, Jeongguk climbed off the elliptical trainer and picked up his towel to wipe off his hot, red face.



  “Jeongguk?” Jimin got off too. “Tell me.”



  “We shared a room,” Jeongguk admitted. “And we didn’t spend much time talking about money.”



  “Why not?”



  Jeongguk felt mortified all of a sudden—for no good reason. He couldn’t even look Jimin in the eye. “I don’t know. It all just sort of felt... natural.”



  “Natural? A weekend with a male escort?” Jimin’s voice conveyed ironic skepticism.



  “I know it sounds weird. But it did. We like each other. I think. I mean, we’ve gotten to know each other. And so it doesn’t feel so much like... like an impersonal business transaction.”



  “Oh God,” Jimin groaned into his towel. “Pretty Woman.”



  “It’s not like that,” Jeongguk snapped. “I’m not stupid. But we get along well. And so most of the business stuff just sort of falls to the side and we just have a good time.”



  “He has a good time too?”



  “I don’t know.” Jeongguk tried not to squirm with embarrassment. “Sometimes I think so. It’s hard to tell—because he has such good instincts about what a client wants from him—but I’m pretty sure he has a decent time with me.”



  “That doesn’t sound like a normal scenario with a male escort and his client.”



  Jeongguk scowled. “How the hell do you know what’s normal with a male escort? I don’t even know. I’ve never been with another one.”



  “Well,” Jimin said, his face softening with humor. “I guess that’s true. Who’s to know what normal behavior consists of when it comes to male escorts? But it sounds a little suspicious to me. Like things aren’t entirely professional.”



  “They are professional,” Jeongguk insisted. “I pay him every evening. He’s just really good at his job. He gives men what they want.”



  “Maybe. But maybe you should dig into it a little to make sure. Have you thought about talking to him about how you are together?”



  Stiffening, Jeongguk said a little awkwardly, “No, I haven’t. He’s told me quite clearly that he breaks off the business arrangement when a client tries to go beyond professional boundaries.”



  “Oh. I see.” After thinking about this for a moment, Jimin added, “And you’re not willing to take that risk.”



  “What risk? It’s a done deal. He made that more than clear. No more appointments for a client who tries to break those boundaries. I know this thing can’t last forever, but I’m having a good time with him, and I don’t want it to end yet.”



  Jimin studied him—a little suspiciously, he thought. But for once, his cousin didn’t say anything.



  Jeongguk let out a long breath. His legs felt weak from the exercise, and his face was blazing red.



  And he felt strangely uncomfortable in the wake of this particular conversation.



                         



                           *******

 



Jeongguk lay next to Taehyung on the bed of his hotel room and stared up at the ceiling. “Are you going to retire?” he blurted out.



  Taehyung’s neck twitched spasmodically, jerking his head over to look at him. “What?”



  Jeongguk found the courage to glance over at Taehyung. Saw his expression was still, almost frozen. “I asked if you were going to retire,” he admitted, feeling a surge of mortification at the random, revealing question.



  It was almost seven thirty on Friday evening. Just last weekend they’d been in Quebec. Just last Monday Jeongguk had talked to Jimin on the elliptical trainers. And both things had been on his mind all week.



  When Taehyung had arrived, they’d talked for a while about casual issues and then had fallen into a silence that felt almost tired. They hadn’t yet touched, and now Jeongguk had been foolish enough to blurt out a question he never should have asked.



  Taehyung replied with a slow, careful sentence. “I assume I’ll retire one day.”



  “Yeah. I would imagine so. I meant anytime soon.”



  “Why do you ask?”



  Jeongguk gave a helpless shrug. Sorted through a few possible responses and landed on the truthful one. “My cousin was talking to one of your old clients. And he said you were retiring.”



  Taehyung’s lips parted slightly, as if he now understood where the question was coming from. But he didn’t answer immediately.



  Jeongguk felt his pulse start to pound as he watched the subtle flickers of emotion cross his face—the flutter of a jaw muscle, the tightening of his mouth, the blink of his eyelashes. He unconsciously held his breath as he waited.



  He wasn’t even sure which answer he wanted to hear. Part of him wanted him to say yes, wanted him to give up this line of work and find something to do that would really fulfill him, that would make him feel like something more valuable than a piece of meat. Maybe doing this job wasn’t unhealthy for some people, but he was worried it was unhealthy for Taehyung, so he would probably be better off if he didn’t do it.



  But the selfish part of him was terrified that Taehyung was going to drop him as a client, that he’d never see him again.



  Either way, he was more invested in this answer than was entirely healthy.



  Finally Taehyung said, “I would have told you if I no longer wanted you as a client.”



  Jeongguk swallowed hard. Then let out his breath. “Yeah. I assumed you would. But I guess this former client seemed pretty sure of your retirement.”



  Taehyung cleared his throat. His deep brown eyes were oddly tentative. He opened his mouth to speak. But then shut it again without shaping a word.



  “What is it?” Jeongguk asked breathlessly, tilting his head toward him instinctively.



  Taehyung shook his head and glanced away. “I told you I was cutting back on my clients. And I had to tell him something.”



  “Yeah. That’s what I told Jimin. I figured it was just an excuse. I mean, it would be kind of rude for you to retire without telling me, wouldn’t it?” Jeongguk smiled at him, trying for ironic teasing although he still felt oddly nervous and embarrassed.



  He returned his smile easily, and Jeongguk relaxed a little. Everything was as it always was between them. There was no reason for him to get so uptight about what Jimin had told him on Monday.



  “Oh, I meant to tell you,” Jeongguk said. “I’m going to be out of town for a couple of weeks at the beginning of next month.”



  “Work trip?” Taehyung asked, arching his eyebrows.



  It was actually a book tour for his new release, but Jeongguk cut off the explanation before he spoke it. Taehyung didn’t know he was Ian jk , and it might become too obvious if he said he was going on a book tour right when Ian Jk’s highly anticipated new romance was released.



  “Yeah,” Jeongguk said vaguely. “Something like that.”



  Taehyung nodded and didn’t pursue the subject.



  They lay side by side, and both stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes.



  “So your new book is coming out on the first of the month?” Taehyung asked at last, speaking casually and without any prelude.



  “Ye—” Jeongguk answered automatically before he realized what he’d just asked. He jerked up to a sitting position with a gasp and stared down at his bland face. “You know?”



  Taehyung gave him a slight, sheepish smile. “Guilty.”



  Jeongguk’s heart hammered, and his belly twisted—with a collection of emotions he couldn’t entirely work out. “You’ve known all along?” He was dismayed to hear the hint of betrayal in his words.



  Shaking his head, Taehyung sat up too. “No. When we talked about it at first, I had no idea. But I’ve reread some of your books in the last few months, and I kept seeing... seeing you in them.”



  “Oh.” Jeongguk felt himself blushing for some reason.



  “I thought it must be you. And then, last weekend, it didn’t take too much searching to discover what writers’ conference was being held in Quebec during those days and who the keynote speaker was. It just affirmed my suspicions.”



  Jeongguk slumped back on the bed, releasing a long, shaky breath. He should have known Taehyung was too sharp and observant to hide something like this from.



  A tiny little part of him was glad Taehyung knew. Glad he knew that he was his favorite romance writer.



  Taehyung reclined back as well, but his face was turned toward him, his eyes resting on his face. “Are you upset?”



  “No,” Taehyung admitted, turning to smile at him almost bashfully. “I guess not. I mean, now that I know you, I feel pretty safe about a story not appearing in the tabloids about how Ian jk has been using the services of a sex professional for the last six months.”



  Taehyung’s eyes were unusually sober. And after a moment of silence he said, “I hope you believe that.”



  “I do. I know you’re not going to the press with the story.”



  “The story will never come out through me,” Taehyung murmured. Then his lips twitched a little. “It won’t even appear in my true-life confessions best seller.”



  “Hey,” Jeongguk said, giving him a reproachful look. “Don’t mock the book idea. I was serious about that.”



  “I know you were.” For just a few seconds, his smile looked almost tender. Then the softness disappeared in his easy irony. “Although it was a rash suggestion since you don’t even know if I can string together two sentences.”



  Jeongguk sniffed disdainfully. “Please. Someone as intelligent and articulate as you? Of course you can write. Besides, you don’t have to be a brilliant writer. Just interesting and basically coherent. You’d have an editor to clean things up.”



  Taehyung chuckled. “You’re serious about this.”



  “Yes. I am. Why shouldn’t I be? Just say the word, and I’ll do anything I can to help.”



  That softness flickered in his eyes again, disappearing just as quickly as before. “I appreciate it. But I’m not sure I’m a project worth pursuing.”



  Jeongguk hated the resignation he heard in his last words. It was worse than the bitterness he heard far more often. He opened his mouth to argue but then changed his mind.



  Nothing he could say would change his mind about himself, would make him believe he had true value.



  Jeongguk reached over and turned his head toward him again, keeping a palm on his cheek. Then he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Taehyung’s.



  Jeongguk had no delusions about the powers of kiss. It wasn’t going to change anything about his attitude toward himself. Couldn’t reshape his whole world. But it was the only thing he could think of to do to express how he felt at the moment.



  And he needed to do something.



  Taehyung responded immediately to his kiss, but he let him take complete control of it. His mouth opened, and his tongue moved at his urging. But he didn’t roll over or reach out to touch him.



  They kissed for a long time, joined only by their mouths and Jeongguk’s hand on his cheek. It felt sweet and oddly innocent, and Jeongguk felt both his body and his emotions responding. But eventually he wanted more, so he slid his hand down to Taehyung’s chest and then lower to his abdomen. Taehyung wore a slate-blue dress shirt, and he stroked his belly through the expensive fabric.



  He loved the feel of the flat, firm muscles there, rising and falling with his accelerating breathing.



  Then he slid his hand even lower. To the front of his trousers. Realized he was already getting hard.



  Jeongguk wondered why Taehyung wasn’t making any moves, why he just lay on the bed and let him kiss and caress him.



  Sometimes Taehyung was so unknowable he wanted to scream.



  Jeongguk  wanted to know how Taehyung was feeling. He wanted him to feel as deep and overwhelmed as he did at the moment. He wanted him to react to him with genuine pleasure and affection.



  Jeongguk wanted Taehyung to respond to him in a way he did with no other client. No one else but him.



  And suddenly he knew what he wanted to do.



  Jeongguk’s hands moved to Taehyung’s belt and started to unhook the buckle. Then he unfastened his trousers and untucked his shirt. Started to slowly unbutton it, baring his chest to his view. He slid his shirt off his shoulders. And then he started to push off his trousers.



  Only then did Taehyung help by lifting up his hips. Taehyung’s eyes hadn’t left his face the whole time he undressed him, and his gaze was quiet and questioning with a depth he didn’t understand.



  “Taehyung,” Jeongguk said at last, surprised his voice came out so unsteadily. “Can I...”



  Taehyung found and held his self-conscious gaze. “Jeongguk, you can do whatever you want.”



  The words made Jeongguk’s belly twist at the same time they reassured him. “I wanted to... I’ll need to add some money to the envelope, but I...”



  “Jeongguk, just tell me what you want.”



  “Oral sex,” he managed to choke out, his cheeks burning hotly. After all this time, it was silly to be embarrassed. But he was. Not so much by the act but by the vulnerability of saying he wanted it.



  Taehyung’s brows drew together, and he started to turn on his side and push himself up. “Of course. I can—”



  “No,” he interrupted, realizing he’d misunderstood. “I wanted to do it.” He swallowed hard. “On you.”



  “Oh.”



  “Can I?”



  Taehyung froze for a moment. “Yes,” he said softly. “If you want.”



  “I do.”



  For a moment they just looked at each other. Then Taehyung rolled off the bed and walked over to his case, where he pulled out a foil packet. “This condom will be easier for you to use. It’s slightly mint flavoured, and it will taste a lot better than latex.”



  Jeongguk nodded and watched as Taehyung rid himself off his boxers and returned to the bed. He was already almost fully erect.



  Taehyung handed him the condom and lay back down on the bed on his back. He stared up at his face and waited.



  Jeongguk really wanted to do this, but he was also getting very nervous. “I’ve never done this before,” he said. “I won’t know what I’m doing. You’ll have to help.”



  “Of course. Anything you want.”



  Jeongguk  scooted down on the bed until his face was in range of his groin. He stared down at his erect cock, a deeper shade than the rest of his body. He thought he saw it twitch as he watched.



  His eyes darted back to his face, and he gave him a little smile. Oddly comforted, he laughed nervously. “I’m not going to be any good at it—just to warn you. And I hope you’re not going to expect anything fancy. I mean, you’re not going to go down my throat or anything, are you?”



  Taehyung’s lips twitched, although his gaze was still that quiet, intense one. “Of course not. I’ll just lie here and let you do your thing. Just tell me if you want anything different.”



  Jeongguk snickered at his choice of words. And then he inhaled a long, shuddering breath. He took his cock in his hands and stroked it for a minute, running his fingers up and down the shaft and then twirling the tip a little.



  Jeongguk liked how Taehyung sucked in his breath very slightly at his touch. And how he could feel his erection twitch and harden under his fingers.



  Since Taehyung was plenty erect already, Jeongguk opened the condom packet and carefully rolled it on. He’d always taken care of the condoms before, so he made sure he got it on securely and didn’t nick it with his fingernails.



  Then he adjusted his body on the bed, leaning over so his face was hovering above his pelvis. He held his cock upright with his hands and experimentally licked a line in a circle near the top of his shaft.



  He heard Taehyung’s breath hitch, and he smacked his mouth around the taste of the condom. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t terribly unpleasant. He imagined it would be better without a condom at all, but that was out of the question, of course.



  Looking back up at Taehyung’s face, he saw his handsome features were tense and unreadable. Again, he wondered what he was thinking. Whether Taehyung really wanted to do this to him.



  Jeongguk  wondered whether it would please him. He wanted to please him. The way Taehyung’d always pleased him.



  He took a breath and then licked his cock again, this time going from the bottom to the top. Then he took the head in his mouth and started to suck.



  On the first hollowing of his cheeks, Taehyung gasped and his hands shifted slightly on the bed. Assuming this meant he liked it, he took more of him in his mouth and sucked again.



  It felt like his cock was pulsing, even through the latex of the condom, and the more suction he applied, the tenser his body became.



  Jeongguk knew there was more he should do as part of a blow job, and he tried to focus his scattered thoughts on the scenes he’d read in books for something to add to the sucking. Landing on a couple of ideas, even through the blurred excitement of his mind, he wrapped one hand around the bottom half of his shaft and used the other to stroke one of his thighs.



  Jeongguk had a little trouble coordinating the squeezing with the sucking. He fumbled around for a minute before he let his cock slip from his mouth.



  His eyes met Taehyung’s. He sensed rather than saw a tension coiled tightly beneath the surface of his expression, of his body. But he’d been as good as his word. He hadn’t moved at all.



  “Aren’t you going to help me?” Jeongguk asked thickly. Only then did he realize that he was aroused as well. His nipples were tight beneath his clothes and he was already wet between his legs.



  “Of course,” Taehyung murmured, his voice unusually low and textured. He moved one hand to the back of his head. “But you were doing great.”



  Jeongguk wrapped his hand more firmly around the base of his erection and lowered his mouth again, taking in as much of him as he comfortably could. He started to suck again, and this time Taehyung applied gentle pressure, guiding the bobbing of his head and helping to create a pleasing rhythm.



  Taehyung’s hand curved around the back of his skull, his fingers tangled in his hair, and the pressure felt reassuring rather than bossy. He hollowed out his cheeks to the tempo of his soft urging, and his motion became more confident as he progressed.



Extras







  With his free hand, he caressed up his thigh and then dipped it below his face so he could find his balls. He cupped him, feeling him gently. Then he applied a little pressure.



  Taehyung grunted, and his pelvis twitched up just a little. It startled him momentarily, but he managed not to fall out of rhythm.



  He trusted Taehyung. He was skillful and considerate. He knew this was his first time, and he’d never let him down before. He wasn’t going to try to fuck his throat.



  He shifted his hips restlessly, more aroused now than ever as he processed Taehyung’s reactions to his ministrations. He intensified his rhythm and felt his body tighten even more.



  Using his thumb, he stroked his sac, squeezed the base of his cock and bobbed his head. Taehyung’s free hand had started to fumble around in the bedding, and his head jerked uneasily on the pillow.



  Jeongguk hummed around his hard flesh at these signs of how he was pleasing him.



  It felt so good to please him. Better than anything.



  “Jeongguk,” Taehyung said thickly, his body so tense now he was almost shaking.



  He hummed again as he worked over his cock the best he could, adjusting his body to get better leverage.



  Taehyung’s hand tightened at the back of his head, fisting in his hair until he made himself loosen it again. “Jeongguk.” His head was propped up slightly, and his eyes never left the sight of his mouth around his cock.



  Humming out another response, he felt his intimate muscles clenching instinctively.



  “Jeongguk!” Taehyung rasped, his back arching slightly as he visibly fought to keep himself still. Both his hands had tightened with his clench of arousal, squeezing his cock and his balls simultaneously.



  Jeongguk’s mouth worked ceaselessly. He’d generated a lot of saliva, and the flavor of the condom was dissipating. But at this point he was too into the moment to care. While it was a little sloppy and inexperienced, his blow job appeared to be having a good effect.



  He could feel tremors run through Taehyung’s body. Both his hands had fisted now—one in the bedding and one in his hair. His hips were rocking very slightly, involuntarily. And his face was flushed and twisted with what looked like effort and pleasure.



  “Jeongguk,” he choked out, his head jerking to the side. “Jeongguk, I’m going to come. If you don’t stop, I’m going to—” His words broke off in a guttural exclamation as he squeezed his balls again.



  He knew Taehyung was trying to warn him in case he wanted to make further use of his erection. But that was nonsense. Of course he wanted him to come. So he sucked as hard as he could, fondling his sac one more time.



  Taehyung’s body pulsed as a choked sound escaped his lips. Prepared in advance, he listened carefully to hear the words, but he’d fully stifled whatever it was he said, biting his bottom lip so hard it whitened.



  Then the tension in his body shattered beneath his. His hips gave a few clumsy jerks against his mouth, and his free hand groped frantically on the mattress beside him. With a series of thick gasps and exhalations, he rode out the spasms of his climax. He could feel his cock pulse in his mouth.



  The condom prevented him from having to swallow his semen, but it felt like he’d released inside him just the same.



  He finally let his cock slip from his lips, and he sat on his knees, staring at his flushed, damp face.



  Jeongguk was gasping just as desperately as Taehyung was.



  His climax seemed to have wiped him out. His body had softened so completely he looked limp and boneless. Feeling a swell of both pride and tenderness, he carefully removed the condom and tied it off so Taehyung wouldn’t have to get up right away.



  Jeongguk managed to stand and walk to the bathroom to throw it away. He stared into the mirror for a moment and processed his appearance. His cheeks were just as red as Taehyung’s. His nipples were standing out visibly through his clothes. And every time he moved, he was conscious of his hot, hard wet arousal.



  But he’d wanted Taehyung to come just now more than he’d wanted to himself.



  When he returned, Taehyung was still sprawled out on the bed. But he turned his head toward him as he approached. “Thanks,” he said hoarsely. “You didn’t have to take care of the condom.”



  “Why not?” Jeongguk asked with a shrug, climbing back onto the bed. He slanted him an anxious look. “Did I do all right for my first time?”



  Taehyung choked on a laugh. Then another one. For a minute his whole body shook with helpless, ironic laughter.



  Jeongguk frowned at him. “I know I didn’t do that bad.”



  “Jeongguk,” Taehyung gasped. “Are you blind? You saw the way I came. You really need to ask if you did all right?”



  “Oh.” He squirmed a little, in pleased embarrassment. “Well, I didn’t know. I mean, maybe I did a bad job but you came just to boost my confidence.”



  Taehyung shook his head, looking strangely tired. “You really think I’m that good of an actor?”



  “Aren’t you?”



  “No.”



  Jeongguk’s belly twisted again with that same jittery emotion, and he lay down next to Taehyung, turning on his side so he could look at him.



  He didn’t know what to say, so he just remained quiet. Taehyung’s breathing was leveling off now, but his body looked loose and relaxed. Absolutely sated. He’d done that to him.



  He hadn’t expected Taehyung to react the way he had to his blow job. He hadn’t expected to feel the way he did about his reaction. He hadn’t expected to be so turned on afterward. And he hadn’t expected to experience this chaotic churning of emotions—confusion, pride, pleasure, embarrassment, discomfort, and bone-deep fear.



  Suddenly his swirling emotions became so intense he wasn’t sure he could handle them. Since looking at Taehyung had intensified them, he turned over onto his other side so he was facing away from him.



  Trying to talk himself out of his foolishness, he breathed deeply and sorted through his confusion.



  Before he had a chance to figure out anything else, Taehyung’s voice came from behind him. “Jeongguk? What’s the matter?”



  “Nothing.” He was pleased when his voice was mostly natural.



  Evidently Taehyung didn’t believe him. He heard a rustle of the bedding as he moved closer to him. Then felt his warm hand on his bare shoulder. “Jeongguk? Did you not like it after all?”



  Taehyung’s voice held just a hint of hesitance, and it made him turn his head back to look at him over his shoulder. He’d propped himself up on one arm, and his gaze was sober and intent.



  “Jeongguk,” he prompted softly. “You need to tell me if there was something about what happened that made you uncomfortable.”



  “I’m not uncomfortable,” Jeongguk began. At his look of obvious skepticism, he hurried on. “I mean, I liked it. I really did. It’s just that I didn’t... I didn’t expect...” He trailed off, realizing there was absolutely no way for his to tell him the whole truth.



  “What didn’t you expect?” Taehyung’s face had become oddly still, in the unsettling way it sometimes did.



  He found the least disturbing part of his feelings to admit to him. “I didn’t expect to get so turned on by doing that.” He blushed a little, even though his admission didn’t come close to the true nature of his reactions.



  Taehyung’s face relaxed. He gave him a smile that was almost naughty. His hand moved from his shoulder and stroked down his bare arm. “Well, that’s definitely not a problem,” he murmured.



  He smiled back, feeling better now that the mood between them was more familiar. He straightened his head, no longer looking back toward Taehyung. And he let Taehyung settle himself behind him, pressing the lean lines of his body against his back and stroking his nipples, belly, and hips with one skillful hand.



  After just a minute, he was breathless with arousal again and wriggling back against Taehyung as he gently fondled his nipples. “Taehyung,” he gasped. “I want you so bad.”



  Jeongguk felt a new sensation then against his bottom. After a moment he realized what it was. He was growing erect again—far more quickly than he had expected.



  “Already?” he asked, looking at him over his shoulder and shamelessly rubbing his bottom against the hard length poking into him from behind.



  Taehyung made a guttural moan in response to his squirming, and he lowered his mouth to the hollow of his throat, mouthing his skin and nipping a little.



  Then, with strong, gentle hands, he turned him over onto his stomach and started gathering his top into his hands so he could pull it off over his head.



  Jeongguk let him undress him, loving the feel of his weight on top of him, the way it pushed him into the mattress. He groaned in helpless pleasure as he squeezed the flesh of his ass and mouthed the nape of his neck.



  He reached over for a condom from the nightstand and quickly rolled it on. Then he raised his hips, sank two fingers inside his to test his readiness and, finding his sopping wet, aligned his cock at his entrance and then eased into his from behind.



  He let out a long, wet sigh, enjoying both the feel of his body and the way he wasn’t making his handle all the decisions. He braced himself on folded arms and bumped his bottom back against his groin.



  He grunted at the impact, but then he followed his silent urging and began to thrust.



  Jeongguk was incredibly aroused, and the fast, pleasing rhythm he developed sent jolt after jolt of sensation to a quickly building orgasm at his center. He huffed at each of his deep strokes, and his body instinctively followed the tempo, eagerly rocking back against him to intensify the sensations.



  Pretty soon the feelings inside Jeongguk became so intense that he couldn’t remain quiet. He started to make little grunts on each of his instrokes, and then the grunts transformed into breathless exclamations.



  “Good, Jeongguk. So good,” Taehyung gritted out, his thick voice proving he was already pretty far gone, despite his earlier climax. His speed had accelerated, and his fingers dug into the flesh of his ass, guiding his frantic motion. “Come for me.”



  He was already close. So close he sweated as waves of heat slammed into his. His breathless exclamations turned to sobbing sounds. “Coming,” he choked, “Yes, Taehyung! Gonna come.”



  Then he did come, hiding his face in the pillow as he screamed out the intense spasms of pleasure. Taehyung made a strangled sound as he kept thrusting.



  Before Jeongguk was through riding out his first orgasm, he felt another one swell up on its heels. His whole body shook frantically, his nipples and the flesh of his ass and thighs jiggling with his shameless motion. And he came again. Hard.



  This time he didn’t have time to hide his face in the pillow, so his cry of release was loud and naked.



  “Oh fuck!” Taehyung gasped, his hips pistoning wildly against his ass. Then he choked out something he was too overwhelmed to hear properly.



  He came. He felt his body shuddering behind his, felt his cock pulsing inside his, felt his fingers grip his body so desperately they would leave bruises.



  Jeongguk was panting hoarsely as his body slumped forward. Taehyung fell with his, and for a moment his hot, sated weight rested on top of his again. He panted too. On each exhale, he made a sound like a moan.



  And Jeongguk would be perfectly happy for them never to move from this position, from this visceral satisfaction.



  But he did move. Without speaking, Taehyung eased his softening cock out of his wet passage and heaved himself up off the bed.



  He walked silently to the bathroom. He heard the water run in the sink. And he didn’t hear it go off.



  After a minute, a jolt of sharp curiosity propelled Jeongguk out of his sated stupor. He climbed off the bed and hurried over toward the bathroom, determined to find out what Taehyung did in there when he took extra time.



  The door was halfway open, so he could peer in. Taehyung stood in front of the sink full of running water. Taehyung was leaning over, bracing himself with both hands on the counter. His shoulders were slumped, his eyes closed, and his head bent. His face and head were streaming wet from where he’d evidently splashed water on his face.



  And he appeared to be taking deep breaths.



  Jeongguk gaped for a minute. He looked exhausted. Overwhelmed. And strangely aching.



  “Are you all right?” he asked without thinking, his voice breaking with his concern. His heart started to hammer in anxiety and apprehension.



  Taehyung’s whole body jerked clumsily as he whirled around toward his. “Yes,” he said hoarsely, recovering himself quickly. “Just catching my breath.”



  It had looked like he was doing more than that. In that moment he’d seen him vulnerable, he’d appeared almost... battered.



  His eyes started to burn as he wondered whether using himself in this way took a bigger emotional toll on him than he realized. Maybe having sex with his ripped him to shreds. “You didn’t like it?” he asked in a wavering voice. He cringed at his needy, childish tone



  Taehyung made a huff of sound and put his arm around his as he urged his back toward the bed. “Don’t be ridiculous, Jeongguk. Of course I liked it.”



  He liked the feel of his arm around his, and his heart unclenched at his answer. As they crawled back into bed and under the covers, he said shyly, “You didn’t wait for me to tell you to come.”



  “I know.” He gave his a rueful half smile. “Sorry about that. You probably could have come a few more times if I’d managed to hold out.”



  “Don’t be sorry. I prefer you to come when you want. Really.” He peered at him and saw that he was genuinely unsettled by his involuntary climax. Keeping his voice light, he added, “I’m amazed at the control you usually have. It’s quite remarkable. In all these months, that’s the first time you came without asking me first.”



  A flicker of expression on Taehyung’s face reminded his of something.



  “It wasn’t the first time,” he said slowly.



  “No. It wasn’t.”



  “When I came back from Hong Kong.”



  Taehyung nodded moodily. “Twice now. Not a good record. I’m not normally so weak.”



  He made a dismissive gesture. “Now you’re being ridiculous. I want you to come when you want.” Despite his confident words, he darted a nervous look over at him. “So you’re really all right? It’s not that you don’t like it?”



  Taehyung’s mouth twisted, and he stared at the ceiling. “I told you so already. I like it. That’s the problem.”



  His words washed his with a flood of warm pleasure. He wasn’t sure if he should believe him. After all, his job was to please men in any way he could. He’d spent years telling his clients exactly what they wanted to hear. Maybe that was what was happening here.



  But instinct told his something different, and his words made him feel really good.



  The next day Jeongguk sat in front of a computer and pulled up a database of articles from major Never newspapers over the last three decades.



  He shouldn’t be doing this. The idea had crossed his mind more than once over the last several months, but he’d always ignored it—knowing that Taehyung’s personal life was his own and it was far healthier for him to keep his relationship with him purely professional.



  But here he was anyway. He began to type in a series of search terms, various combinations of the words “Taehyung,” “Kim” “red hair,” “son,” “businessman,” and “disinherited.”



  It took his less than ten minutes to find the information he sought. He pulled up a brief article from a local publication that focused primarily on business news. The article, from twelve years ago, mentioned how twenty-two-year-old Kim Taehyung—the son of a very wealthy, notorious man—had refused to join his father in business and had been legally disinherited.



  Jeongguk stared at the story on the monitor. Stared at the picture of a very young Taehyung, as red haired then as he was now. Stared at the name, printed there in black-and-white.



  It all made sense. Everything Taehyung had told him about his father and about his early life. And everything he had sensed about the way he’d been emotionally victimized as a child. The truth of his identity closed the final gap in his understanding.



  And he had no idea what to do about it.



  No idea if he should tell him. How he should tell him. What he would say. What kind of difference it would make.



  He had no idea what he was doing with Taehyung anymore. While he was still trying to ignore the confusion of his feelings, he was honest enough to admit to himself that he’d gone way beyond the professional with him.



  But one thing he now knew.



  For the last six months, he’d been fucking the estranged son of Kim Namjoon—who was CEO of one of Seoul’s largest corporations and very likely a white-collar criminal.


*******