Perfectly Unholy

02.

Caroline

"You're my passion and desire, in all, I'm yours,

Every pulse of my body, burns like red hot fire.

Runs through my heart like a deep ravine,

the moment you smile, I get weak at the knees,

I'm swept off my feet, like a breeze from the sky.

P. S
It's so good I found you,
Flower."

My hands shake as I pick up the flower from the floor. I was half asleep when I clumsily picked up the paper and hadn't notice the flower that had fallen to my feet. It was a flower I had done research on for many nights. It's supposed to mean healing and love, which is the exact opposite of what being stalked feels like. I drop the flower from my finger tips, letting it fall onto the marble counter top.

He found me. He fucking found me. Only took me taking the police officers advice and moving back home to New York, I drop out of college, break up with the guy I was dating at the time, and quit my job. Having to move home wasn't my first choice, but it's been nice being around my grandmother and brother again. But sometimes I wish I would've stayed where I was. Now it's obvious that I should've stayed in Jersey because he's followed me here.

I bring my phone out of my pocket, dialing the police to make a report.

"So you're sure you have no idea who this man could be, Miss. Stevens?" I shake my head, crossing my arms over my chest in comfort.

"No, I mean I've worked in hospitals since I graduated high school, it could be anybody I've come into contact with." I shrug, the way his face changed into less of a helpful expression and more of just plain annoyance. He shakes his head, closing his mini sized red notebook. Shoving his pen back into his stupid pocket on the right side of his suit jacket.

"Well ma'am, unfortunately, there's no signs of forced entry, nothings taken, you weren't harmed.Could be a prank from a family member or even a friend. There's not much we can do." My eyesight goes blurry as anger floods into my body. How can he not find SOMETHING? ANYTHING?

"I had this same problem in an entire different state, there's no way it's a coincidence." I groan, rolling my eyes. "Have a good day." Turning around, I walk back up the stairs of  my apartment building. Shoving past useless officers that wasted an entire morning of my day off. I still need to go grocery shopping and pay all of my utilities online today.

[]

"Hey nana."  Her weak smile warmed my soul every single day that I come to visit. Her little brittleness from the chemotherapy and radiation.

"My love." She moved her arm out towards me, extending her hand for me to take. I quickly shuffle across the room, setting my bag down next to her hospital bed. She was now on hospice at home. And I've done everything I can to make her more comfortable. "I wasn't expecting you today."

"I know, but, plans fell through this morning with Caiti so I'm here ." I sit softly on the edge of the bed, I was barely an asscheek on it, mainly supporting myself through my legs, but I hold her hand closer to me.

"Sweet girl, go home." I felt a thumb brush a tear that had accumulated and slipped down my cheek. I shake my head, try my best to fake a smile, and look at her with the fakest act of happiness I could muster up.

"How are you feeling?" She rolled her eyes softly at me with a stiffened laugh.

"I'm miserable and dying, can't you tell?" A gasp leaves my lips. "Lighten up baby."

"Not funny." I mumble softly, diverting my attention to the floor. The same floor I used to run around barefoot in a diaper . The same floor that soon, will store the memories of the worst day of my life.

"Thanks for stopping by, Caroline. But I'm not going to get better." She says slowly. The longer the sentence she spoke, it seemed to take the air from her lungs too quickly. As if she was genuinely suffocating. Internally, obviously. Her free hand found my face once again, wiping away more tears that I didn't even notice had fell. She used her thumb to lift my chin to meet her stare. "You deserve to live your life the way it's meant to be. Taking care of me? It's not your responsibility, sweetheart." She paused, breathing a deep breath and holding it in, trying to keep going the longest she could. "Go. Go meet someone, fall in love, give yourself some time to be happy. You deserve that. I want that for you."

I could feel my chest start to hurt. I was barely breathing. Matter of fact, I'm holding my breath. My eyes stay locked on my grandmother as she stays silent. She says nothing, but she nods.

"I can't lose you." I whispered. I close my eyes and lean into her hand. "You're all I have, you're my best friend." A sob escaped my lips.

"Go home, come back tomorrow." She says softly. "I've grown tired." I nod quickly. Standing up from the bed, I set her hand back down on her lap.

"Okay grandma. I'll be back tomorrow night for dinner." She nods. "Love you always."

"And forever." She finished as I throw my bag over my shoulder and make my way out of the house I grew up in.

I was only three when my parents were killed by a drunk driver on the way home from work. My grandmother and grandfather got custody of my brother and I that day. My grandmother lost my grandfather when I was sixteen. She was devastated. He was her best friend. I mean her heart basically beat for him, and when he died, I feel like she lost the spark in her soul. Since she had lost her soulmate.

I would deal with my stalker tomorrow, because why can't I ever just be left in peace ?