𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒸𝑜𝓂𝑒𝓈 𝒷𝒶𝒸𝓀 𝓉𝑜 𝔂𝓸𝓾

chapter 1- beau

beau:
i never saw myself in those romantic comedies i watched as a child. i was the weird,awkward girl that hoped might somehow get the guy. but now i've had the big glow up and still struggling to find love. instead im here trying to disprove a theory about my own boyfriend, a mere act that proves my relationship is doomed. every relationship has ended in a peculiar fashion.

i stand up from the couch , a pure white leather one that josh brought me after watching me save a picture of it to my instagram. romantic, right? exept i hate pure white furniture , which i told him at the time, i saved it for my best friend, lucy. also we had been only dating for a week. kind of presumptuous to already be picking out furniture. i walk over to the phone that's buzzing in the side, joshes phone, another contact saved as juts a singular letter. this time a F. this is the ,at least, 5th number to call his phone. every time i ask him about it , he finds a way to change the subject.
'Babe? your phones ringing again' i show the ringing phone towards josh.
'oh yea don't worry about it' josh gets up and joins me by the dresser taking his phone on one hand and wrapping the other around my waist pulling me closer.
'who was it' i turn towards him, staring intently at him looking for an answer.
he pulls me in for a deep kiss turning off his phone and placing it on the side of the dresser .he wraps his now free hand around my jaw-something he knows i hate. i can almost feel the acne forming where his fingers are touching my face
i pull away slightly 'babe the call, who was it?'
'a person from work' he murmurs into my mouth as he presses back into me
' what about the others that have been calling you'
'there just people from work' his other hand starts to drop lower. i pull back abruptly. i knew it.
'josh stop lying i know your cheating on me' i stare at him. 'how many girls are there? i try talk to you about it and you make and excuse or just kiss me!' i cross me arms to make clear i actually need a response. he sighs picking up his phone and dropping it into his pocket. 'josh, just tell me the truth.'
after breaking up with some actor who only wanted me for fame i was ready to date someone who actually loved me, i could actually talk to about my problems. i thought that was josh.
i thought wrong.
i see the moment he caves, then re-strategises 'babe, i'm sorry i lied to you'
he takes my hand and leads me over to the couch. 'you were juts so exited about your modelling i couldn't tell you'
'so you have cheated' i squeeze his rough palm with my manicured hands. gel every two weeks ruins my nails but they always look flawless once it's done, and according to my agent, that's what matters.
'not exactly, i only flirt with them now and again' he seems too calm and it frustrates me.
'have you ever slept with one' josh winces and my question
'only one' he replies his head hanging low. that's it i'm out is here.
'josh i can't believe you'
'wait beau we can talk about this' his mouth springs open with objection, he runs a hand though his light straight hair and down his face. ' come one beau we can talk about it, we can go on vacation or something ,relax, talk it out.' he frowns sceptically as he says this but then wraps my hand in his calloused one. 'this is it for me. your the one for me. this is juts a silly blip- we can get over it'
i pry my hand out of his grip 'josh i don't think we're in love, not really and definitely not the forever kind. i'm sorry but you'll find someone that's perfect for you' I'm ready to go in under a minute. i always have a bag packed so i can travel with moments notice before
a shoot. i stop to say goodbye juts as josh stalks away and punches a hole in the wall. i'm sure his assistant will get it fixed by tomorrow, and i'm sure i'm making the right choice. the suitcase slides behind me , the silence of its wheels matching my shame as i delicately close the door. i can already see the headlines: SUPER MODLE AND HEARTBREAKER BEAU'S COMPLETE DATING HISTORY.

all press might be good press but some times i like to keep my failures to myself . to be able to walk out the house with a makeup free face and not have articles up with in an hour saying I'm having a break down. the moment i flop down in the hotel room i let my posture drop. i relish stooping my shoulders down alone in your hotel room once the weight of everyone's eyes is off me. i haven't slouched infrount of someone in five years, not since i became beau, not beau smith, and beau became a household name. my career is life , but looking 'perfect' never fails to exhaust me.

i hunch over my phone scrolling through social media, a constant stream of pictures of other models and celebrities flying by. i no longer flinch when see my own face on an ad. images that are me but don't feel like me. but after a few minutes- or possibly a full hour, it's hard to tell once i'm sucked into the numbing instagram vortex- i freeze mid scroll and stare at the notification that has popped up in-front of me.
-
Reminder: if not married by 24 you're marrying lando!
T-minus one week;)
-
lando
my stomach drops. i completely forgot about this pact.

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