𝙋𝙄𝙉𝙀𝘼𝙋𝙋𝙇𝙀.

1 | 2010, Tragic News Journal

I think you can already tell by the title now, it's 2010.

Yes, there had been some tragedies in the past decades, but there was only one that could stop me in my tracks.

I'm not saying that tragedies are not terrible, they are indeed. But imagine the tragedy came knocking on your door? I think you would take it more personally than others.

People can only have that sense of imagery from a news source, but they aren't there to experience it firsthand.

The news media lies sometimes.
We're talking about modern-day yellow journalism. Obviously they would come up with the most eye catching headline, to get people to pile up their stack of bills.

But it isn't a useful source at all. They lie, they exaggerate.

I grew up not relying on their sources. I mean, if Americans had used some dramatics about the Spanish, which ultimately led to war, psh imagine how much this could ruin Japan.

You're probably telling yourself, "Yeah, this guy seems like a hooligan." Thanks.

I don't feel entitled to be involved in society anymore. I always find myself wandering away... to my own little world.

It's not like I can fit in anyway, the world just seems so different... it changes all the time. I'm okay with being a misfit.

Now. The news article that caught my attention? Yes I'll get to that..

"Famous 28 year old actress is killed, 2008-"

If I heard her name, I don't think I would last for a minute.

That was two years ago. When I first heard of it, I assumed it could have been someone else. There are plenty of other actresses right?

I considered how selfish that may sound...

But when I heard her name, I felt my heart sink. The kind of sinking feeling where it's submerged into a deep emptiness of loss, regret, pain.

When I heard her name, I felt young again.
When I heard her name, I felt dumb again.
When I heard her name, I felt remorseful again.

I didn't want to believe that it was true. That maybe the news sources were tryna pull my leg again.

But this was one of the first times they didn't lie.

And I wished they did.

I assumed that maybe life was trying to get back at me for all the things I've done. I assumed that maybe life doesn't want me to forget.

This kind of punishment felt worse than probably anything on this earth. For your memories to be canned, and never be expired.

"Never." That word alone says everything.

I have tried to forget her back then, but life took a turn when she started to be featured in magazines, news articles, and the picture box. The television.

1999 it was. When she started to show up in the most viewed channels of Japan.

She had a smile anyone could recognize. It wasn't like matching a name to a face. Her smile was just so rare... there was something about it that looked so genuine and gracious.

It made me melt seeing her smile...

Japan was evolving around these times to now.

Minidisc players were becoming popular, oh everyone wanted one..
Some of the school kids had hung key chains with plush figurines stuck to their portable phones.