Blitz- Okay, I know business has been slow lately, but it's no one's fault. And I'm not naming any names here, (looks over at Moxxie) Moxxie.
Moxxie just gives him a surprised and confused look.
Blitz- Now, does anyone have, any bright ideas on how we can get business drummin again?
Millie slams her hand on the table with sparkling eyes
Millie: How about a car wash?
Blitz- This is hell Millie, no one cares about cars being clean here, ok? Oh! What about a billboard?
Moxxie- We can't afford a billboard, sir.
Blitz puts his arm around Moxxie's neck and got closer to him
Blitz- Real helpful Moxxie. Really glad you're in the room right now. (he pushes Moxxie away) Have you guys forgotten what services we provide? (he then grabs a remote and played their commercial on a tv) Oh, those were good times.
Moxxie- Anyway, I don't need any reminding sir, considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel nobody watches.
Blitz- Uh hey, excuse me! What's obnoxious about a super fun jingle? Alright, it's a fun distraction when an advertisement is spitting bullshit.
Millie- People love musicals, sir.
Blitz- Exactly Millie, were basically doing a musical. Are you gonna crush my musical theater dreams, just like my dad did?
Moxxie- Sir-
Blitz- Because right now, all I see is my dads asshole talking to me! Crushing my dream of being who I truly am inside.
Millie- Are you tryin to crush his dreams Moxxie?
Moxxie- I- what?
Millie- I thought I knew you. (she sticks her tongue out at Moxxie while giving him a seductive look, while Moxxie blushes and rolls his eyes)
Blitz- I can't believe you Moxxie, even after I made you employee of the month. (he pulls out a picture with Moxxie giving a weird face)
Moxxie- Ok sir! I'm sorry! A commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theater. Nobody likes the jingles.
Millie- I liked it.
Moxxie- Do not... do not agree with him in front of me.
The jingle for I.M.P suddenly plays which shows Moxxie shooting a kid, then the crew take him to a hospital without wearing disguises for some reason, and once the doctor ask for insurance they steal the kid and jump out a window.
Moxxie then looks at Loona who was feeding Y/N a bottle of milk with baby formula.
Moxxie- I'd like to go on record and say that incident was Loona's fault. Dispatch is supposed to give us the right info on the target, it's very simple.
Loona- Oh, sit on a dick fatty.
Moxxie- You sit... sit on a- and the- do your job!
Loona- I am doing my job! I'm feeding Y/N, which he'll then need to be burped and then probably changed!
Blitz- Hey now, we don't blame our screw-ups on Loona ok? She didn't do anything wrong. (he walks over to Loona and hugs her, and in response she growls at him while Moxxie just looks at them in disbelief)
Moxxie- Are you kidding me, sir? She's awful.
[Flashack starts]
The phone rings and Loona answers it
YOU ARE READING
Loona's human (male human reader x helluva boss)
FanfictionI created this story because no one else has and thought it would be cool and different. During a mission, The I.M.P. gang hear crying in a room, and they see a baby. They all discuss what do with it until Loona makes a decision that no one would ha...
