My life has been such a blur, everything, everyday is a loop of the previous, my consciousness stays too recent and memories from yesterday feel like they were just made, i remember my thoughts too clearly in each moment... Everything feels too fast yet is going so slow.
My past is my present and the future is... Just...?...
*I rest my head and my forehead hits cold glass and i open my eyes while pulling away quickly. It rains outside the car, im in the back seat i probably drifted off and started over thinking my feelings again... Probably...*
*Its so... Nostalgic to look outside its the green woods, moist with moss and grey with mist... My heart and stomach ache for life in the trees... The woods.... Im inlove with... Woods... Or just The woods, I dont know why i left out the. Just falls better off the tongue or mind.. Or the tongue of my conscious voice. Ive lost track of my thoughts where was i?*
I frown against the cold glass i dont remember resting against again... *I cant go on like this... Friendless, demotivated... Weird at least arguably*
It starts pouring on the car as we drive around a long road that wraps around the side of a mountain also covered in trees, tall tall trees which litter the mossy grown with pinecones.
i nuzzle into the corner of the car seat and door, as close as i can, till i feel the ice cold mist on the other side of the door. I close my eyes again and listened to the rain play, feeling the soft muddy gravel grind on the bottom of the car as we drive further and further away from town.
I look down at my phone and stared at my lock screen before swiping up onto my homescreen. My thumb drifts over the cold screen, im unable to actually think *about what to do with it since i dont have games or anything... Or at least my phones basically useless with internet but everytime i face boredom with it when im stuck in a power outage or anything i never remember to actually download anything when i get internet back...hmm*
I catch myself thinking off track again and get snapped out if it as the windows get dark when the car drives underneath a dark tunnel of trees, a road actually nuzzles into the forest is really cool. I look out the window up at the shadowing trees as the bend around each other and shield whatever sun even glances in this misty town. We drive through the woods then down a slanted road until we curl back around to... That house.
Its pretty big but actually surprisingly cheap. *Well shit my mum really did set us up to be murdered, oh well at least ill die being felt sorry for*. Its on the edge of the cliff, on the right its straight down. A sharp edge and end that you could jump off of and wouldnt survive. The left it smoothly goes down into the woods and another shack. And the back it just stops where the house does. Its like that house from a series of unfortunate events.. That series freaked me out as a kid. Never read the books though.
I look back at the bridge part of trees we came from,*I didnt notice the actually nice gate there, but I dont know why it was there. I mean a intruder could just walk around it or come from the left pathway.*
I went to the house, my mum was still in the car on a call with someone from work. I take the keys off the door handle and shuffle through them and jam the only long one in the keyhole and twist it with a smooth click. I opened the door and walked inside, it was big and grey and cold. The wallpaper was grey and a slightly darker grey striped over the other, but water damage and yellowing varnish were in the corners.
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