Abused and Unloved~

Chapter Twenty Six

I sit shivering in the back of an ambulance. Jayden holds me tightly and I cling to his hand as if he's the only lifeline between reality and insanity.

My legs were stained with Lucinda's blood and I knew my face held some of it as well, but I made no effort to wipe it off. I couldn't. I couldn't even move. I was surprised I was even breathing.

"The poor girl was only eighteen." One of the emergency responders comments in a hushed voice making my heart crumble a little more.

A police officer approached us with a notepad in hand and obvious intent to ask us questions since we were the only witnesses at the scene besides her mother, who was basically useless.

"Hello, my name is officer Harrison and I just want to ask you a few questions."

Numb.

That's all I felt. I was dried out, on the verge of fainting and all I felt was numbness.

"How did you know the victim?" He looked at me, but I only stared at him blankly. I knew he would chalk it down to shock, but I wasn't shocked, I felt forcibly mute. Talking held no appeal.

I killed a girl. This girl was dead because of me. My friend just died because of me.

"We know her from school." Jayden answers for me.

Another emergency responder comes with some sort of thin blanket and Jayden lets me go to grab it politely. I turn to him with accusing eyes and he sees my expression, an expression he would have been amused by under different circumstances.

He drapes the blanket around me then grabs a hold of my hand again.

"Did she call you in hysterics?" That was a question Jayden couldn't answer since he wasn't the one who got the call.

Both of them turn to me and I simply nod looking down at my shoes. Shoes that I now noticed were stained and crusted with her blood.

"Okay, let's stick to yes or no questions." The officer finally caught on to the unlikeliness of me budging.

"Was she depressed?" I didn't really know how to answer that. Her pile of bullshit didn't mean she had a mental illness, but she also could've been and kept it from me the whole time. It's usually the happiest of people going through the most shit.

I shake my head with uncertainty.

"Was it an accident?" Definitively I shake my head. She lost control but it wasn't an accident. She wanted to die.

"Was she intoxicated?" I nod curtly. "Do you know why she did it?" It was a yes or no question, but if I answered yes he would expect an explanation after it.

I sigh deeply and hold my hand out for the pen and pad. He hesitantly hands it over to me.

Jayden releases my hand to allow me to write and I quickly scribble loose thoughts.

Raped and threatened by father.
Girlfriend broke up with her.
Crappy mother.
Has anxiety and on meds.
Kind of an alcoholic.

All things that might had led up to this, and all the information I could possibly provide. I give him back the pad and don't smile as he tried to encourage one with a polite grin of his own.

"Thank you." He tips his hat to us then steps away to consult with another officer.

"Are you alright?" I didn't have it in me to reply or be questioned. I simply lay my head on his shoulder in response. He kisses my forehead and puts his arm around me to keep me warm.