Enter the ultimate underdog - the one and only Spy. But forget the sophisticated secret agent you know. This Spy is a magnet for misfortune, racking up an unparalleled record of deaths. Just when he's fired and ready to embrace a life of peace, an...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
2FORT - DAY, SUNNY
The camera pans through 2Fort, a battlefield teeming with the usual chaos, the air is filled with the sounds of gunfire and the scent of sandviches, while a conga line snakes its way through the chaos. And there he is-the man, the myth, the legend: Red Spy! He jumps from the balcony and gracefully leaps forward through the air... until gravity betrays him. His head meets the bridge's roof with a comic BONK, and down he goes, lifeless as a ragdoll.
But this wasn't the end of our tale. Red Spy materialized, courtesy of his trusty Dead Ringer, and set about rearranging his disembodied bones. Disguising himself as a friendly Heavy, he made his way towards the enemy base, navigating the bridge with ease. Lady Luck smiled upon him, allowing him to reach the main spawn without incident.
That was when things took a turn for the worse. A tap on his shoulder alerted him to the presence of a Gibus Engineer and a Pyro, neither of whom seemed to appreciate his presence on their turf.
Spy (in his best Heavy impression): "Uhh, Pootis?"
Engineer's Shotgun (not buying it): *Chk-Chk*
Spy ditches his disguise and bolts down the stairs, shotgun blasts decorating the walls and his discarded mask. He dodges, he weaves, he gets shot (shocking, I know), only to trigger his Dead Ringer. Then-aha! A broken window with a mysterious glow beckons him and he dives headfirst without a second thought.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
The Engineer barrels past, but the Pyro stops, noticing something strange in that broken window, he sees how small pieces of glass reflect the light, and he's amused, apparently resembling sparkles.
Pyro: "Shiny... mwust tawch..."
The Pyro mumbles, ignoring the Spy's frantic prayers from behind the window. The Pyro's hand inches dangerously close to the Spy's concealed position. The cloak is rapidly draining, threatening to reveal him at any moment.
Engineer: "Move it, buddy!"
Pyro: "Aw..."
After Engie told Pyro to move, he looked at the broken glass again and followed the Engineer. Spy exhaled with relief and a loud uncloaking sound, he decided to investigate the source of the eerie spotlight emanating from the mysterious room. It was a place he'd seen before, but never accessed. Spy came into the room filled with the remains of forgotten intel and a distinct lack of entrances (aside from the conveniently broken window, which seemed wildly out of place considering the objective was intel gathering, not renovations). It looked like a filing cabinet had exploded in a fit of existential angst. Intrigued, the Spy sifted through the mess. Photos of mercenaries plastered the bulletin board at the room's end, along with a cryptic note: "Assemble a team ASAP." And right in the middle, amongst the scowling faces of TF2's finest, is a photo of... Spy himself! Confused and slightly flattered, questions had risen in his head, and Spy heard clanging metal outside announcing that the Engineer began to erect his building. Spy pocketed a photo and the note, and miraculously escaped disguised as a friendly Heavy (seriously, this guy needs a new strategy), he strolled across the bridge. Suddenly the unmistakable sound of a charging Demoknight filled the air, Spy hastily pulled out his revolver, and let's just say... his aim was about as effective as trying to kill a Scout with a Pompson. Demoknight separated the Spy's head from his shoulders with a single swing. The death cam lingered on the Spy's head as it tumbled through the air, a look of utter boredom etched on his face.
