The world without Izaiah

3

Christo was in the hospital for a week before the officers decided to arrest him. He had been in a coma since the accident. The officers who arrested him took him to prison while he awaited his trial. They handcuffed him and then sat him in the back seat of their car. When he arrived at the prison, he was stripped and scoured.

It felt very violating, but he figured he deserved this treatment after murdering his husband. They made him put on an orange jumpsuit, they allowed him to keep his white undershirt, and they gave him a pair of cheap prison underwear, an ugly pair of white briefs that Isaiah would have never let him wear in a million years.

Izaiah was always particular about his fashion choices. This prison uniform would have made him gag. He needed to stop thinking about Izaiah for a while, but every time he tried to shift his thoughts, he couldn't get him out of his mind.

He didn't say anything to the officers. He figured they probably didn't want to hear anything he had to say. Especially not after he did what he did.

When he was done changing, he got moved into a cell. An older man was asleep on the bottom bunk, the top bunk still empty. He assumed he would be occupying the top bunk.

When they closed the cell, the man in the bottom bunk awoke and sat up. He smiled at Christo.

"Well, hello there, young man. They told me you would be joining me. The boys call me gunshot. The real name is Arnoldo. I suppose you don't have a nickname yet."

"Well, no, my name is Christo." He wondered why the older man was being nice to him. It wasn't what he had seen in the movies. Prisoners were supposed to be mean and ruthless.

"Well, I think we'll call you Angel."

Angel? Yeah right. He's not an angel. "I killed my husband in a drunken run-in with a semi. Bet you no longer think I'm an angel."

"Hey, quiet down. I wouldn't want the guys to overhear you talking about your husband. Boys in here don't take too well to things like that."

"I suppose I shouldn't have told you." Christo worried about what the older man might say or think, or even worse, do.

The older man just shrugged. "It's no harm. It wouldn't hurt a fly, at least not these days. I have been here for ten years. Shot a man in the stomach during an armed robbery. I was stupid then, so stupid."

Christo gave Arnoldo a pat on the back. "Did the man die?"

Arnoldo looked at the floor, disgusted with himself. "He bled out before the ambulance could even get to him. I turned myself in later that night. The guy who arranged the whole operation stayed on the run. I caught him at his girl's place, hiding in the attic. He was packing his things, planning on running to Mexico the following night."

"Oh..." Christo looked awkwardly at the man.

"I have a deep regret about what I'd done. Suppose you could understand that sort of thing. Nickname reminds me every day."

"So why Angel?"

The older man smiled and made the sign of the cross. "Because you angels are different. I see something in you that you don't see yet. Something extraordinary that pleases God."

Christo huffed. "Right... I guess you think a murderer could please God."

"Murder doesn't please god, no. But you, sir, your heart pleases him very much. It's a gift deep within your heart that he sees."

Great, not only was this man a Jesus freak, but he was also a complete lunatic. "Sure."

Arnoldo leaned back on his bunk and yawned deeply. "You'll see, young man, you'll see." he took out a book and began reading. It wasn't long before he dozed off.

Christo thought about his trial. How long would he be in this place? What would he do to release himself from boredom? He wanted to see his mom and Izaiah. Oh god, his sweet Izaiah, what has he done? He would never hold him again. He would never hear his laugh or kiss his cheek like he did every night before bed. He just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up.

He needed a shower, but he didn't have soap. How would he wash his husband's blood off his hands? He remembered their first kiss when he was only 16 years old. The kiss was gentle and innocent, changing the whole course of his life. The kiss saved him.

He and Izaiah spent the night together watching a documentary on wildlife in Australia. They were talking about koalas, and Izaiah was rocking back and forth the whole time, and then when it changed to baby kangaroos, he started bouncing on the basement couch.

"I'm so happy I could kiss you right now!" He blushed as the words spilled out of his mouth. Christo looked at him in surprise. Izaiah always talked about how much he hated kissing.

Christo decided to be bold. He ran his fingers through Izaiah's hair and leaned him close. They locked eyes.

"Then I'll kiss you now."

Izaiah's eyes went wide. He's been kissed before, but what if Christo didn't like it? What if he turned out to be straight? It would break his heart into a million pieces.

Christo slowly brought their faces together, eyes still locked on each other. And then he kissed him. Gently, sweetly. Christo suddenly felt warm on the inside. The bugs in his stomach fluttered, and he saw beautiful colors. When they pulled away, Izaiah flapped his hands very rapidly.

"Oh no, are you alright?" Izaiah grabbed onto Christo and hugged him tightly. He never wanted to let go. It was the best kiss he ever had because, this time, it meant something.

It was Christo's first kiss with a boy. It sent his heart soaring through the clouds. He wanted to do it again. He wanted it to last forever, but now it never will.