Once upon a Midnight Dreary - Regulus Black

Chapter 1

ℌave you ever wondered if you were in the right place in life? You must have; everyone does at some point. But if you haven't, here's a piece of advice for you. If you, by any chance, ever end up somewhere where Walburga Black is the one to greet you in the hallway, you're in a terrible place. That's when you should turn around and run as far as you can without looking back.

Unfortunately, fleeing tonight was not an option for me. The only thing I could do was cross the threshold and enter the underworld. The underworld in this case was 12 Grimmauld Place where I would have to spend my whole evening enduring the greatest torments of hellfire.

"Theodore! So wonderful to see you again!" Walburga greeted my father, offering one of her many hideous smiles. Baba Yaga would have been a supermodel compared to this woman; it was a real miracle that her two sons turned out to be good-looking blokes when she herself was the nastiest hag I had ever had the misfortune to come across. "I am so thrilled that all three of you could come. It has been while since you visited our little abode."

Her little abode was anything but little or humble of any sort. The furniture was exceedingly rich, nothing I wasn't already used to. I have spent the past almost eighteen years in similarly lavishly decorated homes, my own included. The more time that went by, the more boring I found these obligatory parties held in the most luxurious – and unnecessary – circumstances.

"Theodore, you have been avoiding us for a while now." Walburga now turned to my brother, wagging a wizened finger at him in a manner that intended to be playful, but it only turned out to be frightening. "I am delighted that you are honoring us with your presence tonight, however rare it is for you to make an appearance at any soirees."

"I've got quite some work to do these days," Theo answered, speaking through firmly set teeth, "but I wouldn't have missed out on your summer celebration party for the world, Mrs. Black."

"Well, that certainly is an honor," she chuckled the most effortful fake laughter I had ever heard. I could do a much better one than that, and it only took me a little bit of practice in front of the bathroom mirror. "Druella was terribly sad when you would not show up to her own party last week."

"My son has been extremely busy recently," Father joined in the conversation, placing a reassuring hand on my brother's shoulder. "He barely leaves his study. Even his wife misses him."

I could only ever dream about him calling me his son, or treating me similarly affectionately. He would only call me boy all my life, his tone and expression always very cold when addressing me. No wonder. He and my brother were the two current Theodores of the Nott clan. Ever since Cantankerus Nott made the Sacred Twenty-Eight list and named his first-born and only son Theodore, it has been a long-running tradition to call all males that way. A second son – me – was never on the agenda, and they both made sure to remind me of this every single day.

"Oh, Louisa! How is she?" Walburga clapped her hands lightly. "When is her due date?"

"Possibly next week," Theo replied, his lips tightening in a prim line. "She's well... a bit tired. She sends you her regards."

I stood there in silence, patiently waiting for my turn to be interrogated. So far, I have been thoroughly ignored. This was, of course, merely an attempt to put me in my place. I could never truly be ignored by anyone, least of all these people here. You could just imagine an elephant in a small crowded room and you will know how unnoticeable I was with my height of about six feet and six inches.

It was an obligation to endure Walburga's probable investigation, just as I had already persisted all the other boring old hags' respective cross-examinations. Ever since my return from Hogwarts, I have been going from tea party to tea party to pay my respects as Father so aptly put it.