voldydoldy hungry but snape is italian

39 2 25

by SumireInuzuka

by SumireInuzuka

Snape: Dark lord, if you will excuse me, I need to go eat

Voldermort: Are you going to buy food?

Snape: Yes, I'm going to WizDonalds—

Voldemort: WizDonalds?—

Snape: —To get a burger, fries and milkshake because someone's mum refused to shake her mi-

Voldemort: I don't need the details Severus

Snape: .....right.

Voldemort: Buy me this dish, that you Italians call pizza, while you're at it

Snape: . . . .

Voldemort: What?

Snape: WizDonalds does not sell pizza

Voldemort: Yes they do. You tell him Lucias

Lucias: Yes they do

Snape: No they don't

Voldemort: *exasperated* But I called and asked yesterday and they said they did!

Snape: ...Which fast food place did you call?

Voldemort: Pi-ne-Pizza

Snape: Pi-ne-Wha—?

Voldemort: Nvm just get me a pizza. If they refuse, tell them 'dark lord is hungry and will eat them instead if they refuse' or just kill one of them

Snape: On it *finger guns*

Voldemort: Also get.... a pineapple.... to put as a topping

Snape: . . . . I will pUT tHE PiNeAppLE iN YoU

Voldemort: You dare defy me severus??

Snape: That's it. I can't deal with you anymore. You know what? You so ugly, even Umbridge looks better than you

*collective gasp from deatheaters*

Voldemort: Wha—

Snape: Avada Kedavra

*silence as Voldemort lies dead on the floor*

Snape: I'm having pizza party, anyone wanna join?